Two More Years
The first time I saw her was when I looked out my window one random afternoon. Her family had just moved yesterday and she went out for the first time. Her younger sister waved goodbye with her newfound friends leaving the girl alone.
It was my chance to make acquaintances. That twelve year old version of me approached her. Back then, I just really wanted to play around. She looked at me with disinterest but still I gave her my friendliest smile. Then, I attempted to befriend her with my stupidest idea of befriending.
"Hi!" I remembered that I exclaimed like a little idiot, as I took her hands and shook them. I can't blame her if she thought I was annoying back then.
I remembered she snorted at me and pulled her hands away like I had the plague or something. But instead of feeling rejected, I thought that she was the coolest girl I ever met.
Two years later, I looked through my window again one quiet afternoon. My heart rate rose when I saw her outside. There was a scene; she was there, protecting a bunch of younger kids from a bully our age. I had to laugh when I heard her roar obscenities at the bully.
I cheered to myself like some kind of insane person as the bully lost interest and walked away. She then comforted the kids. The next thing I witnessed was an adult hand ran across her right cheek. One of the kids' parents might have thought that she made their child cry.
I saw her turn away and broke into tears. I ran downstairs and I tried to be a witness for her behalf, I wanted to clear things out. But it was too late… she was already gone. My parents and the other adult had already talked about and decided on how impolite and nasty she was. I tried to convince them otherwise but my pleas for her innocence were simply ignored.
Two more years had passed. This time I saw her at school with her so called 'friends'. She took off for a moment. That made me lost interest seeing that she was gone, but I heard something, something that stabbed my heart.
"Who would want to be with a witch like her, huh?"
"I can't stand her anymore, let's get rid of her, we don't need her."
I almost gasped when I saw her behind a wall. She was listening to them. The b*tches laughed, their laughter were like pickaxes cutting her demeanor in half.
I followed her home. I wanted to comfort her but I was afraid that she might just probably think I'm just a crazy stalker and that she'd just push me away.
I stood near her house. From where I was, I had heard yelling even though thick walls sat between us.
"You brat! Why won't you make yourself useful? You're worthless. Your younger sister's-"
"Not her again! It's always her, huh? Great, good for her- I'm never needed her… I'm outta here!" she cried that out of exasperation. I knew and I recognized that hurt and everything had built up within her. I can only just wonder how she felt right now.
I followed her through the pavement after she stormed out of her house. I didn't know if she noticed me. I've been doing this all these years.
I stopped abruptly as I heard her sobbing. Then, she made a sharp turn to the right and ran back to the school grounds. She sprinted up on a flight of stairs and to the rooftop.
She was crying again. I argued with myself, if I should show up and try to comfort her or to give her some time alone. I decided to go for the latter, but I realized that she was going to try and escape from it all.
"Are you out of your mind?!" That was a silly question now.
I ran to her and pulled her away from the fencing. She lashed back at me with disdain even with her tear-stained face. I tried to put up a serious front.
"Look, what you just attempted-"
"Don't try to tell me what to do! Don't lecture me! You don't have the right. You don't know how I feel," She paused, hiccupping. "Nobody cares anyways. I'm really tired, so just let me do this, just leave me."
She hiccupped again after that. I felt tearing up myself. I had decided to leave her here alone earlier, to give her some time alone, some time for herself. I realized that she was always alone all this time.
I cried completely… something that might have surprised her. I must have looked like crazed person but heck she just tried killing herself!
"I don't give a b*s*t! Look! I'm stalking you since we're twelve. I always try and obtain your attention. W- what about me, huh? I never had my chance with you and now you're trying to take that away." It didn't unfaze her. Did she know all this time? I felt rejection but that wasn't really the issue here.
"Look, you're one of the most popular guys in school. The teachers like you. Everybody likes you. You're doing great. You have a nice life. Please, don't waste your time on someone like me. What do you think they'd say if-"
"Is that what you really care about? What those ungrateful bastards think of you? What about how you feel? Have you ever thought of that?"
"It's not – it's just I don't think I can do this. I don't want to fail to please you. I don't want to end up feeling devastated after I failed to live up to your expectations. Then, after it's all over, you'll just throw me away, throw me back here where you found me. So in the end, I'll just end up here. So why even bother?"
"F***! I never expected anything from you. I should be the one wanting you here! I should be the one trying to impress you! I should be the one begging on my knees and my hands f***g clasped together, pleading for your attention. And you should be the over-controlling b*tch trying to tie me down! And if it came down to me just being a sick bastard to you and not fulfilling my end of the bargain, you shouldn't just let me ruin you! You should stand up and plot a payback to screw me up! Don't give up on yourself. Not like this… please don't you know that-"
"I'm really tired. Please, just let me go" That's it. It was not enough to convince her to stay. Reluctantly, I did what she said. My strength was failing me, my will. She was right though. I don't have the freaking right to tell her what to do. I just stood on my place feeling so pathetic. I was on my knees crying as I watch her off to her death. I tried to turn away but all I can do was to gaze down. I least I won't get to watch her leave.
I suddenly felt something warm. She grabbed me and she had locked me on an embrace. She didn't say anything but cried on my chest. She - She actually chose me.
Gasping I said - "D-don't worry… just two more years. I'll try, I'll take you away from here with me. I'll take us somewhere, somewhere we can make a new start. Somewhere we could be free."