A half hour walk turned into hours of Antonio and I dining out at some copy and paste burgers and fries joint. We got to know each other better. Although I was thrown off by him shifting gears, I went with the flow anyway. Antonio insisted.
The Americanized diner was crowded when we arrived and this gave us time to sit around and talk. And I mean...really talk.
Nothing was mentioned about the gang. Nothing was mentioned about drugs or money or Blake or the hideout house. It was just us. Two teenagers trying to stuff our faces with grease and then head back home under the starry night.
Which is the exact predicament we’re in now. Antonio finishes telling me a random story of how he used to come up with bizarre strategies for cheating, such as him making a coded language for himself and then always writing it on the base of his fingerprints.
I laugh, and this makes Antonio redden. He looks away and fiddles with his jean pockets, probably trying to warm his fingers from the piercing night air.
“That is crazy,” I sigh, allowing myself to relax.
It feels good to be able to go out and eat and then take a walk with a friend. It feels normal; like these are the things I should have been doing. I find myself about to thank Antonio for the good time when his phone buzzes frantically in his back pocket. He grabs it, glances at the caller ID, then declines the call and shoves the device back in his pocket.
I chuckle, knowing damn well I saw Valerie’s name flash across the screen.
“Don’t feel like talking to her huh?”
“Talking to who?”
“Oh. That wasn’t Valerie.”
I roll my lips to the side, making a funny face. Antonio knows he’s lying. He then presumes to mutter something in Spanish and I lean in closer to try and catch a drift of what he’s saying.
“Wait, what was that?” I tease, grazing my ear against his shoulder.
Antonio laughs and gently pushes me off, making strong eye contact with the ground as he says, “I said you’re a nosy little bitch.”
“Nosy? I was just wondering why you quickly declined Valerie’s call.”
“You proved my point. That’s nosy.”
“Some call it nosy, I call it inquisitive.”
We laugh, our bodies bumping into one another. In one split second, my body feels unbearably hot. Antonio notices the change in my demeanor and gives me a few inches of space. I scratch the nape of my neck, hating how awkward and tense I get at the worst moments.
Great job Ron. We were sharing a nice healthy laugh and you had to go and make things awkward.
Antonio drops it though, fairly quick too. He slows down his pace and grabs my arm to halt me. I look into his face, reading into every detail and every expression he etches into his muscles. I get hot again, and this time, it’s visible on my face and neck under the street light.
“I want you to focus on me tonight, okay? I want every second to be meaningful with you. That’s all I want.”
Antonio tightens his grip on my arm. It feels familiar. He looks into my eyes and smiles like a little boy, which makes him so much more cuter and so much like a doll. My heart begins to pound. This feels like an exaggerated teen romance movie with us standing under the street lamp in the moonlight, a past memory filled with food and bonding lost in our minds. I’m at a loss for words when Antonio’s hand glides down my arm and connects with my hand. He squeezes it tight. Our fingers naturally intertwine, and Antonio interlocks our other hand too. I feel light headed.
We’re holding hands and Antonio thinks this is perfectly fine. The butterflies in my stomach are killing me, especially when I witness Antonio getting closer and closer to my face.
He stops a mere inches away from my lips. I’m confident that he can hear my heart racing. He playfully smirks and whispers on my lips, “Kiss me.”
I am overwhelmed by the hand grazing my lower back, making me curl into him. His soft black curls brush against my forehead, and it smells like lovely shampoo. I feel myself drowning in a sort of de ja vu moment, as if this has legit happened before. I remember that firm grip pinning me down somewhere and I remember that hungry, raspy voice telling me to kiss him. I remember, and when Antonio’s breath comes close enough for me to taste, I jerk my head back and break loose from his hold.
This obviously confuses him, and he looks genuinely hurt.
I catch my breath, actually remembering him now. I know exactly who this is. I have always known, and yet, I have been interacting with him as if we had just met for the first time.
My heart aches badly. I feel drunk when I’m not. The impulse to throw up takes over me again and I’m about to be taken back to that dark place in the back of my head.
I honestly can’t even fucking believe this right now...
“Ron, l-look I-”
His cell-phone buzzes again. He grabs it, glares at the caller ID, then declines it. This irritates the shit out of me.
“Why don’t you answer it Antonio? It’s Valerie. She could have something important to say.”
“Look, I know what you’re thinking, and I can explain things to you clearly if you just-”
“Answer the damn phone Antonio!”
“Fuck her! I don’t want to talk to her right now! You’re more important.”
The phone keeps buzzing. I almost feel the need to snatch the phone from him and answer it myself. Why is Antonio being so stupid all of a sudden?
“I’m important huh? So important that it was your right to take advantage of me?”
“I didn’t take advantage of you. You consented!”
“Did I?” I question, feeling anger and disappointment fill me like a bad flood. “Because I don’t remember.”
“There’s a lot of things you don’t remember about that night. You barely remembered me.”
The urge to cry and break down grows stronger and stronger. To think that a minute ago I was about to throw myself at this guy, not knowing that I had already had. All of his moves were distinctively his. I remember his touches and the way his voice sounded. I have already been used.
From someone as nice and charming as Antonio.
I immediately plead to go home. Antonio agrees he’ll walk with me. We keep a safe distance from each other, both absorbed in our own dark places at our own time. It feels nice though. Darkness has always felt nice.
The only thing that doesn’t feel nice is the consistent buzzing in Antonio’s pocket. He knows it is Valerie, yet, chooses to ignore her.
He thinks I’m more important.
“You’re beautiful,” the voice said, lips grazing down the shell of my ear.
My body had never felt so sensitive in my entire life, as goosebumps and chills blanketed me from head to toe. I was against a soft bed, and an even softer body was above me. I pulled him closer, kissing him so hard that our lips were bruising. Saliva dripped down my chin, and he licked it up to savor the taste. My member was throbbing into his stomach and this made the boy cutely laugh. He rose a little bit, hands rested on my belly button. I was growing impatient with the sexy stranger and hurried him to do something about my hard-on before I exploded.
The guy looked down at me with the purest look on his face. He asked me, “Hey, are you sure you’re okay with this?”
“We’ve gotten this far so why not?” I slurred, leaning forward and kissing up his lovely, chubby stomach.
He laughed, grabbing my face to look me in the eyes.
“I need a real answer from you. Are, you, okay with this?”
The room was dim-lit so I could see the moment of hesitation in his eyes. He was so adorable, asking my drunk, painfully horny ass if it was okay for him to fuck me.
I actually was okay...under his call. I straddled him in my lap and felt how hard he was, moving my hand to slowly jerk him off. The sensation that ran through me was ridiculous.
“Kiss me,” he whined, then said it again in a hungrier tone. “Kiss me.”
He gripped my arms like his life depended on it. All circulation cut off and blood was transferred to a more important place.
A place that would soon end up in Antonio’s control all night long.