Bullets of Love and War

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Chapter 57

8:20 pm

A pair of obsidian eyes bore into mine and that’s when I feel a grip at my hand. I look down to see our fingers intertwine and my breath hitches tightly. Blake just continues to stare at me. My body feels weak and needy and all I’m craving for is his body to come into contact with mine.

“Blake,” I sigh, blushing a shy red. “I-I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” his voice is soft and sweet.

For piling everyone’s stress by trying to kill myself. For never not being good enough.

But these words do not come out. Instead, my heart palpitates and my brain is a space of gray. Blake’s hand releases from mine and then connects to my face, thumb caressing over my jaw.

“I made you hurt yourself, didn’t I?”

Admitting it makes me feel like a terrible person. I do not want Blake to feel the burden of my irrational and selfish decision. It makes me sick just to think about it, knowing how bad I must’ve made everyone feel.

I sigh and look into his eyes. He is painfully beautiful. His eyes take me to another universe. Everytime we get this close to one another I lose all control on the inside and just want to hold on to his every word.

“What did I tell you Ron? There’s absolutely nothing to be afraid of. No matter what.”

I gulp, purposely avoiding eye contact with him. It takes me a few seconds to register that Barbara, Antonio, and Valerie left two minutes ago to go celebrate and make the most out of their Friday night. Now I’m left with the ferocious beating of my heart and an overly handsome gang leader who is slowly killing me by the seconds.

Should I tell Blake how I really feel about him? These feelings of mine are too heavy and intense at this point.

Too bad Blake pulls away from me too soon. He walks to the center of the room and scans everything in sight, probably taking inventory before we try and leave the house as well.

Speaking of leaving the house, I imagine all of the possible places that Blake and I could have fun at. I usually don’t go out like the average person on the weekend, so this is rather new and refreshing for me. Besides, there’s an obvious bonus involved.

After Blake makes sure that everything is intact and that we can leave the house comfortably, he approaches my backside and grips my waist. I feel him press into me and hold me in place. I’d be a lying fool if I said I wasn’t a standing blood fall, my head and groin consumed like a lovestruck prisoner. I want to cave in so bad. I want him to hold me for the rest of my days, just like this.

“Oh my God,” I feel his hands snake under my shirt.

He’s dominant I see; which sucks because I want to be the one causing the suffering.

Lips graze the flesh of my neck and then I feel a soft kiss press against the corner of my jaw. I cannot believe this is happening. I cannot believe Blake’s nails are scratching up my torso as he’s peppering kisses against my neck.

Euphoric feelings and thoughts cloud my head to the point where I’m sighing and cooing at everything he does to me. It’s all too much. I want him to be mine already.

“You are the one thing that doesn’t drive me crazy,” Blake says, swaying us side to side on our feet.

I giggle, fangirling over this sexy moment we’re sharing with one another. I am not myself right now.

“Blake, you fucking tease,” I turn around, bumping our noses and staring at his lips.

He does that knowing smirk he doesn’t even realize he does. It looks so provocative and inviting and gives his face such a sultry look. All I want to do is kiss him.

And before I know it, something happens. A thick silence falls over us and all that’s visible in our magical gaze is each other. Blake’s expression morphs from shocked to nervous to seductive. He is seducing me with just his eyes. The entire planet ceases to exist. It is just Blake and I in our comfortable universe with each other as a soulmate.

My heart hammers erratically in my chest. Blake’s warmth and scent fill me up like a wholesome dinner. I have never looked at a person this fondly before. Never has anyone looked at me so deeply before. Everything happens fast and sudden when both of us just give in and kiss each other.

It is a slow, agonizing, burning kiss. I have never had one like this before. Our exploration intuitive takes over and our passionate kiss turns into a quest of curiosity; what makes the other feel good and how far can we go?

The pressure of his kisses are hard and urgent. I struggle to keep up with him but hungrily maintain. Our whimpering moans blend together as we both tug hard on one another’s clothing. I feel his hard muscles under his denim jacket flexing and hardening everytime I touch him.

He feels even better than I imagine. I want to keep kissing him forever.

For one, Blake’s lips feel amazing. The smoothness of his flesh makes him hard to let go of and makes me want to explore the rest of his mouth. He moans a deep, hungry moan when my tongue runs along his, craving for the texture with each passing second. His hand grips the nape of my neck to pull me closer, but we can’t get much closer than we already are. I can hardly breathe just trying to consume as much of him as I can.

We stop when our lips slowly break apart for air. One part of me believes that I’m dreaming and that when I wake up, there will be a pleasure stain in my sheets along with annoyance and hopelessness for the dream not being real. The part of me that knows this is real is trembling and anxious for what’s next. We’re both flushed and dazed, wanting to continue but also being held back by something.

“B-Blake,” I stutter, heart on fire. “what do you want to do tonight?”

My attempt at changing the subject makes Blake awkwardly laugh and rub his neck. His collarbone is exposed and this triggers the weird kink I have for collarbones.

“You’re adorable,” he tells me, ignoring my question completely.

I roll my eyes out of playfulness. My heart can’t stop reminding me of our fiery kiss, and how hot Blake looks standing in front of me warm and flustered.

I really just had my first kiss with Blake. Thinking it, feeling it, and craving more leaves me in a particular mood I can’t explain.

All that can be explained are my strong feelings towards him. He draws me in and I can never pull away. He has me twirled around his finger and I know I will never pull away.

It is obvious I want more of him. Blake shifts around and I know it’s because I’m noticeably arousing him.

“Ron,” Blake starts, brushing his hormones aside. “we can’t stand around all night. I have somewhere I want to take you.”

“And that is?” I step closer, wanting him to kiss me again.

He places his hands at my sides and grins at me. I’m not sure whether or not I should be anticipating this outing or dreading it.

“You’ll see...”

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