Her name is Barbara, and I don’t believe that she is in a gang. Even though she tells me all these stories and experiences of her with the others and Blake, I still don’t believe she’s in a gang. She’s too quiet. She’s too reserved. But somehow I can see that’s why Blake took her in.
She’s an abused soul. Fear runs her life just like it runs mine. As she speaks in her feathery little voice, Adrienne moves closer to me. I feel her protecting my space from the explicitness of Barbara’s stories.
“He’s a good guy in general, but he’s a little irresponsible,” Barbara explains. Her eyes are brown and they scan over my face. So far, she has sat Adrienne and I down at the far end of the lunchroom to talk about if I’m interested in Blake’s gang or not. I secretly know all the kids who associate with him, but seeing them up close and personal (for instance, Antonio in class yesterday) I have come to this conclusion that so far, they’re not the troublemakers I assumed them to be. I have yet to meet the last member of the gang, who I know for sure isn’t soft spoken at all just by how she talks. She is the exact opposite of Antonio and Barbara. I have yet to meet Valerie Wilson in person.
“Ron,” Blake’s voice is soft.
“What?” I say, a little too harsh. This makes Blake’s smile stretch like a knife slicing slowly across a cake. Blake moves onto me and slings his arm over my shoulder. I almost want to budge, but his words stop me.
“Man, you mad as hell. I know you angry on the inside.”
I’ve never been so passionate about anything in my life, and that’s kind of what the color red gives me. A confidence, a devotion, a wonderment. It’s so strong and beautiful that I get lost in it’s color when another red leaf (this one has a little more orange in it) flows through the air with the dancing of the wind. It’s a tense spot right here, and my heart is about to tear out of my chest. His eyes soften and I’m not sure if gang leaders are supposed to do that. What is up with Blake’s personality?
This would be my gift to Blake for being so nice to me and treating me like a friend. I spotted a giant plush sized turtle that was a soft sea blue shade. I hoped that Blake would like it. When I saw him again, he had his arms behind his back with a smile on his face. I tried not to blush as I offered him the stuffed turtle, but I failed and reddened all over as I gestured for him to take my gift.
“I know this doesn’t make up for all the money you’ve spent on me today, but, I hope you like this turtle I’ve won for you.”
His smile stretched long and wide as he withdrew a red colored butterfly stuffie from behind his back. I gaped at him, suppressing my growing laughter. He shrugged his shoulders and simply said, “You’re priceless Ron. I hope you accept this pillow I won for you.”
We both ended up laughing and I realized how corny we were. Just two teenage kids, smiling at each other, hearts fluttering and faces flushed. I took his gift and he took mine.
“Do it for me,” he said, voice growing smaller with each word. “we’re in this together so don’t you ever feel alone or scared anymore,”
Tears fell and Blake wiped my eyes for me. I was happy though. Happy that I wasn’t so scared and lonely anymore. Happy because Blake truly cared about me and I haven’t felt cared for in a long time. Happy that I was slowly but surely falling for Blake.
Our fingers over the gun tightened. I pointed the gun at my stomach. Blake looked down and questioned what I was doing. I smiled at him, tears streaming down my red face.
“Finally realizing that I’m important and that you mean so much to me...”
I pointed the gun at his stomach, our fingers still locked in place.
“...and that the bullets that fly from this gun will be out of love and warfare. I will only do this for you,”
And then I realized that I had to do it. I had to please Blake and myself. Blake and I were in this together. We always would be.
I vowed to do it for us.
I vowed to do it for us. I vowed to do it for us. I vowed to do it for us. I vowed to do it all for us.