Rain hit the glass window outside of my room that night as I curled up in my bed trying to get some sleep. The pain from earlier was still present but not as much as it was an hour ago. After tossing and turning in my bed for the past couple of hours, I eventually gave up and instead peered at the night sky above me out of my window. Despite it slight rain, the sky was big and beautiful. The dozens of stars glistened beautifully in the clear black sky, giving out a calming sensation over me. Is this was heaven looked like? I thought to myself as I continued to peer at the sky above me. I can see why people think that heaven must beautiful based on just looking at the sky alone in the middle of the night. I would love to see if that place was real however. It would be a big shame if it wasn't. I also liked the thought that my mother would be there as well, perhaps with pure white wings and gazing upon me and my father from time to time. I frowned a little bit at the thought. Would she be mad at my dad for doing this to me? What would she to him if they meet up once more? I shook my head slightly to get that though out of my head as best as I could. In fact I think it would be best if she didn't watch over us but knowing her, and if heaven was real, she would nonetheless.
I winced in slight pain as I turned my head away from the window, not wanting to think of any more of her possibly watching over us in the sky. It was then that I looked at my closet and remembered about the art supplies that once belonged to my mother. I don't know what drove me to do it, but I made my way up painfully and slowly walked towards the closet. It was still there, on the top of my shelf slightly hidden from view, saved only by seeing its edge of the book. I lightly tipped my toes and carefully reached it and grabbed it successfully with my right hand without having to drop it. Once in my hand, I made my way back to the bed while grabbing a mechanical pencil on the way there and sat back down. My father hadn't payed the electric bill yet so I settled on my flashlight and turned it on.
I then began to search for a blank page to set on and once I did found it, I immediately began to draw. I drew for what felt like minutes but it was obviously hours that past by until I heard my alarm clock ring out loudly around my room. My artist reverie was slowly beginning to break during that time anyways as my strokes seemed to become slower and less unsure of where they were going. After one final stroke of the pencil I began to access my work. The delicate wings that riffled at the invisible wind. The details of the stars and the sky sparkling around the wing figure looking down at the two other figures down below with a sad frown on her face.
Even though it wasn't my best work. I still sighed at it as I placed everything back to its place once more, thinking that maybe, just maybe everything would be alright.
A light knock echoed into the semi empty house from the front door. Perplexed, I made my way down the stairs to answer the door only to receive a shocking visit. Outside of my door was Axel and Vivian. Vivian gave a shy wave of her hand while Axel gave me a small smile.
“Uh” I said, still taking in the shock.
“Hey Hayden.” Vivian said brightly as she rushed over and gave me a huge hug. I lightly hugged her bad and as soon as she detached me from her arms, she beamed happily at me.
“So how does it feel to be out of the hospital?” She asked me suddenly. It dawned on me a little bit that that's why they were here on my doorstep. They wanted to see if I was okay. But why?
“It feels great I suppose.” I said to her truthfully as possible.
“So can we come in?” Axel asked innocently. I tensed up a bit on that question. My house is like a druggies supply and shelter store, no way was I going to let them in. not in the state that the house is in anyways.
I shook my head slightly. “Sorry, no.” but I quickly added, “My dad doesn't like it when people are in the house without his supervision that's why.” I lied to him.
“Oh.” Disappointment dripped on his words, as Axel folded his hands closer against his body. Vivian too looked a bit sad as well for some reason. This all made me feel a bit more guilty for denying them access to my home but I had to do something about it. What would they think if they found needles, broken glass and white powder that is smeared every where inside the house? No, I didn't want them to see that, they would probably call the cops or worse, the social worker. I gulped my fear down in my throat.
“Well, in case you were wondering why we are here. We both volunteered to deliver you this.” Axel said. He reached into his black messenger bag and pulled out something I couldn't see momentarily until he handed it to me. It was a huge red envelope that was sealed. The only thing that it had on it was blue wording that said my name. With shaking hands I grabbed the envelope while muttering a small thank you to him. “Well open it!” Vivian gushed at me. Feeling a bit silly, I opened the the enveloped and peered inside. Inside was a stack of papers, curious, I took one out.
The paper was just a regular sheet of paper, nothing insignificant about it except the fact that someone took the time to write to me.
I know that you probably don't know me. But when I heard about the accident it made me feel sad that someone like you got hurt. I hope your recovery goes well though, and my thoughts and hopes go to you.
Lindsey was a shy girl, who always kept to herself and mostly had a book under her nose whenever she had the free time to do so. I was surprised that she even took notice of me though.
“Oh yea, I almost forgot.” Axel said. I looked up at him wondering what he was doing.
“Remember that girl in Moon In The Cup who was flirting with you?” Axel asked.
“There was a girl that flirted with you? How sweet!” Vivian gushed at me.
I blushed while Axel rolled his eyes at Vivian.
“Anyways,” He said in annoyed tone, “She wanted to give this to you. I don't know what it is but here.”
he reached into his bag once more and pulled out a medium size card board box and placed it into my bandaged hands as well.
“Well. Looks like we need to get going.” Axel said, stoically.
“What? But I wanna know what is in there!” Vivian whined a bit.
Axel rolled his eyes once more in annoyance.
“Fine.” Vivian said, defeated. She was losing a battle anyways.
I gave them both a small apologetic smile before closing the door behind me. Once closed, I raced upstairs and opened the package that Evailynne gave to me first. Wondering what she might have sent me. After I opened the package, I soon realized what it was. It was an artist sketchbook, and it was the more expensive kinds too. The cover was a sleek and professional black color and the pages felt like velvet to touch. There was also a golden ridges on the pages as well. Amazed by it's beauty, I carefully opened the book only to see something fall on my lap. It was a small note.
I opened up the note and read it.
You probably don't remember me, but my name is Evailynne. We met at my work place. Anyways, when we met I took a good liking to you. So when I heard from one of your friends on what happened to you, my heart broke and I was praying to god that you didn't pass on. I know it was a selfish prayer but like I said, I took a good liking to you. I hope you don't think that I am not a creep or anything when I say this. I also hope you like my gift as well, the only thing that I will have to say is that you better show me some of your amazing art work when you do draw in it.
Tears pooled into my eyes, I couldn't help but feel both relieved and sad at the same time. Relieved that these people would try to reach out to me but at the same time I felt sad that they would go out of their way to try to make me feel better and even waste their hard working money on me. Me! A broken and unfixable boy that just makes everything worst for others when being around them. I am the definition of a mess.
But if I am, and I think that I am, why would all of these people try to reach out to me? Is it because they are blind and cannot see the truth? I am not perfect and I know that. I will never be perfect like them.