I am the well beloved daughter of a kind and generous woman a wife a mother and she has given me all that she has to give me. I am the unkindness and the ungrateful daughter because did not take what she had to give and gave as good as I got. I meant nothing to her but a general help and that meant what it was just a worker. But the mother label had to be adhered to. When a mother is a mother that is what she is called a mother. That is her brand it is a band of ownership and she can make or undo and then do you up.
It was in the middle of the war torn zone in Cyprus. Back in the late 1957, when the world had been used to the peacefulness and the respite from all that was grievances. I meant no harm being born so early. I mean in the middle of this war there was nothing but trouble for being an odd ball. I was born before 1957. What me what an idea.
When the middle of the war between the Greeks and the English had escalated into the war between the Greeks and the Turks. This meant the English could relax and take time out. In many ways the manners of the country had gone vile and they did it wrong they robbed the poor in order to live their own lives and make their life changes permanent was it a chance encounter that would make me ask the question and lead me to the quests which would doom me inside this room inside the house and make me into this woman who cannot leave anymore to earn to be able to seek her own fortunes.
But back than I was always out never in and this made them so mad. The parental guidance now off they left me to fend for myself. It is in the war it is when war brings out and changes happen no matter how big you are. Chance was it would not damage but wars do damage and make permanent marks on the people who live through it let alone fight in the war. I mean no disrespects but when they are fighting they come back even more changed and deranged.
I am the foolish personality that you live under and behave yourselves come and see the child inside the child there lurked the lion and why did snakes bite not kill it? I mean having been bitten by the snake in a garden filled with the damn things I was incarcerated for some time. The venom went to my soul and made me soulless the reason? I was a child and had ingested the venom and would I too become a snake? Luckily the dad had the antidote and gave me the damn thing. Foolish pa. You should have left me to die. But he was a fair man he did not believe in murder.
I am this rubbish you kicked out and now you behave as if I am somebody you care about? Love is a four letter word and I am the woman who has the words. But the thing was the thing was he did not care to have me in his house. His mother had hysterics every time I went near her.
“Grandmother maternal is a bore.”
“Do not say that about your grandma.”
“The woman is a bore.”
According to me everybody in that town was a bore there was no entertainment maybe I loved to see Tom and Jerry but there was nothing doing.
“Now child the reason the rationale woman would not allow you to destroy her card game.”
“What should a child do all day?”
“Behave itself and not get into trouble.”
That was more than I could bear. The burden on my shoulders made me droop and then daddy said if I was going to be naughty then I would have to live next door. Which was alright by me.
You see by this he meant I could see how the other half would live because they were poor and this made me the richer girl? I did not know back than what made envy what made jealousies and all that.
The thing was never had this thought it is thoughtless not being able to think in such a manner because the reason all this happened was that I did not think about such matters the meaning of meaning and being mean did escape me. I gave all the time did not accept charity and was alright to be doing what I was doing which made them seek advice. Why did not see what their only child was and did it matter being a child who could read at three when the grand man could not?