I awoke sometime at midnight starving. I had been so absent, that sometimes forget to eat.
I got out of bed and made it downstairs to find something to bite on. I had a dressing on my ankle, the good news was there weren't any major strains, but the bad news was I wouldn't be able to skate for a few months, which sucked.
I stepped into the kitchen, I didn't want to alert Henna so I didn't bother turning on the lights.
I opened the fridge quietly and grabbed some of the pastries from last night and snacked it with a bottle of milk. I sat on a stool and was enjoying my midnight snack when I noticed a faint light coming from down the hallway, on the opposite side of the house, which was Mr. Hertz's area. Curiosity got the better of me and I went to check it out.
And, I found myself standing in front of his private study. Shouldn't he be sleeping? I was curious, so I grabbed the handle and just pushed the door open.
I walked through the gigantic bookshelves and spurred to where he was, he was seated beside his window, legs crossed, sipping to a cup, whilst reading a book.
His hair tousled and he had a blue robe on.
My face turned beet red, maybe I should leave--
I turned, then he spoke.
"Do you need something?"
That was a good question, why was I here? He looked surprised to see me, which was reasonable since I made it clear I wasn't ready to marry him.
"Yeah..." I made my way to him, "Can we talk for a second?" I tell him, he nodded and gestured me to sit,
I reached and sat on the couch next to him, the whole time I couldn't help but admire how handsome he was, even at his age, which was twice mine.
He looked breathtaking.
"How's your ankle?" He asked.
"It just hurts a little, bad news though, I can't skate for six months."
"You have to endure it on until it heals..."
"Yeah, I know..." I huffed in frustration.
"I heard the results came in." He said again,
"Yeah, I won third place." I tell him. It wasn't exactly the best score but it could have been worse, I was pretty much distracted the whole time, thinking of you know who....
"Congratulations," he said.
"Thanks." I smiled proudly, "So what are you reading?" I asked, starting a conversation, I didn't want to leave.
"The dynamics of politics." he answered.
"Sounds interesting, hook me up?" He raised an eyebrow at me, "What, I read too?" I exclaimed and he snickered, "For a matter of fact, I'm hoping to write my own prose one day."
"You don't say?"
"Yes, I love prose..."
"Do you even know what it means?"
"Ha ha funny, you will see.. I'll do it and I would be sure you be the first to read it." He shook his head with a laugh, returning his eyes to his book.
I just sat there staring at him read for a while, before the words in my thought got out, "Do you have a girlfriend?" He glanced up from his page to look at me, I regretted asking it immediately, but yet again, I wanted to know for my next question, "There must be someone you like?"
"I don't have a girlfriend, Alison?" He sounded amused and I was glad to know, here comes my next question.
I couldn't believe what I was about to ask,
"Well...I was thinking." I started again as he was gazing at me, "That, we could start something simple?"
"How do you mean?" he was clearly puzzled.
"I mean...You could be with me?" I finally said it, I don't know where all the audacity was coming from, perhaps it was the pain killers, "It's no secret, that I like you, romantically." I continued punishing myself.
He stared at me in stillness, not speaking,
Why wasn't he saying anything? Aargh! damn you my stupid mouth.
I scolded myself, when--
"Alison --" he trailed.
"I know, it's crazy." I cut in knowing exactly what he was going to say, "But, I still want to try."
"Alison, you do realize I'm twice your age, society would scowl."
"And, they won't if we get married?" I tell him, "Either way they are going to wither at us, so why care what anyone thinks?" I knew I made a point, because he was quiet, "Clearly, you don't feel the same way, so I'm just going to leave." and drown myself.
I got up to leave, when.
"I didn't say that."
I smirked, turning back to him.
"I'm aware it's crazy to have feelings for my father's best friend, but I'm eighteen, so legally, I'm allowed to be with whoever I want." He peered at me, not saying anything. I felt like such a fool, I turned to leave, but snapped back to him again,
"I don't get it...if you don't feel anything for me, Why kiss me? Why make me believe you do?"
"I never said I didn't?" He got up to me.
"Well, do you?" I was suddenly optimistic, "Tell me?" I urged him.
"I do." He admitted finally, hearing him confess his feelings made calmed my fears of him pushing me away again, "That's not the issue here."
"What's the issue?"
"You seem hasty....I need you to think about what you want and make a decision."
"I know what I want and it won't change today or tomorrow." I lurched forward and kissed him, he broke the kiss right away and pushed the hair off my forehead, whispering.
"I'm going for a seminar, I'll be home on Friday night, decide what you want by then." He was telling me think over being with him, but I already knew what I wanted. But I also couldn't think for him, he had to decide for himself if he wanted to be with me too, I wasn't naive, I was also aware being with him wouldn't be without complications, but I still wanted to.
The next few days passed in a haze of assignments and term papers. My mind preoccupied with Mr. Hertz and why he hasn't called or anything, I barely heard from him.
After confessing how he felt, he just sort of didn't say anything else about it since I last saw him in person. I would be lying if I didn't say it didn't bother me, what if he changed his mind? Or worse, met someone new in France?
Dylan noticed my sour mood,
"Are you okay?" He asked.
There was no way in hell I was telling Dylan about what happened between Mr. Hertz and me, he would freak. I managed to play it as if I was having a bad day, which I was.
The doorbell rang ending the day.
I said my goodbye's running outside, where Will and Jason were waiting for me in the usual spot.
Jason spotted me coming and opened the door, greeting me with his usual, "Hello, how was school?"
I rolled my eyes and got into the back,
The boys got in as well and started the car. I look out of the window deep in thoughts, with my earplugs to my ear. Minutes later I call up Jason's attention from the front seat,
"Yes, Alison." He turned to me.
"Has Mr. Hertz called since he left?" I asked, he must have been checking on me.
"No, would you like me to call him?" He asked,
"No..." I rolled my eyes and turned up the music, not in the mood for anything.