things that you can't undo

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the fools of our town.


Looking up from a book I was reading, I felt disappointment when I saw the person approaching me wasn’t anyone I wanted to speak to at the moment. Brexton, the so-called leader of the pack, was making his way over to me sitting under a tree. You’d think that would be enough to say “Leave me alone” without saying it, but I guess not.

“What the hell? We were supposed to be at the game an hour ago!” Brex held out his hand to hoist me up.

“Who said I agreed to that?” I calmly place my book in my tote bag.

“It was unanimous.” Brex gave me a funny look. “You doing okay, El?”

“As good as a high school dropout can get.” I place my hands on my hips. “Let’s get this over with.”

“You’re seriously not gonna try anymore?” Brex, who was always joking around and being the school clown, seemed genuinely concerned.

“Relax. It was a joke.” I assure him.

I wasn’t very fond of Brexton until recently. In fact, everyone prominent in my life I hated at one point. I was well-known for that: being reserved and snappy when spoken to. Brexton used to make fun of me for it.

I’d avoid algebra class solely because he and his friends were in it. I already hated that subject in general and now I would probably flunk because I never went.

By the time we reached the main field, the party was in full swing. Teachers and students alike played football and basketball, a majority of female students were either picnicking or walking around, many were digging into the hot dogs and burgers being cooked by faculty. The scene made me feel a pang of nostalgia. Even though I waited so long to get this far, and my cohort’s graduation was tomorrow, I was going to miss the big family the school really was.

“Hey, Ronny and Cane are waiting by the lake.” One of the boys shouted, already heading down the little hill leading to seclusion.

The sound of that name boiled my blood. My first ex boyfriend. We were together a year ago and even though I was over what he did, the mere mention of him grinds my gears.

I reluctantly follow behind the junior boys, bracing myself for any outbursts I may have. I was unpredictable to even myself at this point.

“Wassup boys,” Ronny greeted his part-time friend group, with his main friend group checking out the hut made of sticks behind him.

I cross my arms, avoiding his eyes which I knew were directed at me. I thought I got rid of him already.

“Hey,” He shyly waves at me.

I flash a sarcastic smile before fixating once more on the tomfoolery going on inside the hut.

He must know I still resent him even though we’re on overall good terms, so he turns his attention back to his friends.

My own friends are on their way to God knows where, and I choose to follow them instead of being eyed by this piece of human garbage.

My mind wanders to Zander. I never knew of a longing or desire to hug someone until our breakup. He didn’t hurt me, but it was tough being away from him. Tough not being with him. Tough not being able to call him mine. In my heart I knew this was only temporary.

A small pebble hits the back of my head, and behind me Ronny is playfully chuckling at me. I can’t see myself, but I’m sure my eyes burned daggers into his skull.

“Come on.” Brex knew by the look on my face what was going through my mind, and it amused me.

We walked in silence at first until Brex gave me a shoulder squeeze, causing me to smile.


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