Family history with hysteria is about the things which we like to do with our lives and take what we do not seek. I mean who wants parents who are like themselves able to enjoy their lives when yours is hardly began? Like seeing others eat because you can’t. It Is not right at all we mend things we get along with life on the knife edge and then we commit sins and buggery and robbery and other crimes which is not included in this page,
This is like a puzzle which is upside down. This is a upside down puzzle which has us all in an inertia why should anybody care what did happen in society some fifty years ago and might still be not care about certain types we are the ones the chosen ones That is the Europeans because everyone knows who we are. Nice to meet you all again it is sure fine to speak to you all in this refined manner. We do not care about this other world you are seeing? I am seeing them as they were not as they are. Maybe now they are richer than anything and happier? But at the time I am writing about they had nothing.
And to care about some poor ram-shackled world without a good deed to its name is to be unbalanced. We the Europeans the Brits especially are the ones who God has chosen. We are the worthy ones given to parties and second homes because we worked harder than anybody. Yes, we do we have several jobs and all that. That makes us work all the time the rest of you all are work shy. Land erosion and then the mines which swept our lives and people bustling in from everywhere and women taking the man in and making them as if their own family. When the time would come the man would leave with some regret but they would leave and go elsewhere and the wives who had been would shed a tear and continue with their own living. The husband at home never at home my dear.
“Now if work means that they too worked. Prostitution is work do not be shy.”
“I believe that to smell someone means that.”
“We smell nicest when poor.”
No, it does not in Britain one cannot earn money except when one is being smelt or known or the story being told. The total tally is when a woman chases the other woman and drives her into madness and like a stuff does not leave.
“Where is the puzzle in this?” asked the psychologists as she is busy not understanding me as her leg is hurting her and I am hurting because of memories. Her scratching is not alarming I think that she might have over done whatever she had been doing. The feeling of hers is one of usefulness and doing the work of two and behaving well towards society. A responsible adult paying her dues and all that.
“What did happen?”
I glare into space that she does not seem to understand what I am saying as if I am speaking a foreign language and she does not see my expression or torment or anything. The whole feeling is one of failure to communicate. My sides shake and arms go limp. There is a rag doll feeling of being inside of me. As if life had gone out of me.
“I am this doll who did not have it all.”
“That we did know a few or two.” Said someone.
“What do we know most is the reality of.”
“But know this is nothing to do with you.”
I laugh uneasy. That love had nothing to do with me I knew.
She too sees that I am in pain she too sees that something had happened to all these people but somehow, she does not believe that. Somehow, she does not think that it happened so dramatically or strange to say she thinks that gossiping amongst families do not happen. That if Cyprus is linked to each other like a pot then most of these families are there and they had their share of unhappiness?
“It is not love?”
“Lust for power over the other woman is it the shared common feelings of humanity?”
“Right we must all smell each other like dogs?”
“There is no other work type we are all in this together”
“What do you think the world is run on gas?”
Nothing doing this other society worked too except when it worked the work itself was worthless because they did not think about the bigger picture the world. They did not wear the right code of dress meaning being naked. They did not have any education not the right science and all that. They did not have robberies and foibles and such ladylike manners or gentry like barbers and they were known as the barbaric Turks. Now they are not known unknown nobody has heard about them. Except as a cheap holiday resort. Yes, they are now one of the cheapest holiday resorts ever and they have the best hotels.
“This is daylight robbery.”
“When the world had began to go strange what did happen to this small country?”
“It went berserk.”
“Could not catch up went the whole way said to the women strip or else.”
“Some of them went to work others did it in Nicosia when they were left bare and barren and had to be damned.”
“When did the society become doomed?”
“When they lost their self-respect.”
“Who took it from them?”
“Without money means without power.”
“I would sell my mother’s arse for half a crown is it a man speaking the truth about that society?”
“He meant bloomers?”
But before they became a hotel and a resort, they lived lives like farmers and were unable to handle the sexiness of life. Their wives were never what they should be they had not much in the bank and most of them had become mentally deranged. I think not? Well some ended up doing weird things. How do you mean? Well they did.
When magic rules us where did the rules apply? I dislike doing any work so I am doing magic instead and then everyone can work and I can sit down and do nothing. Do not forget we are all working hard trying to do our jobs and mine is to sit down and think. I am very good at this. I can out do the sitting down all day long. I am nothing if not determined to do not much but enjoy my garden adding to the splendid natural beauty of the surroundings but do not want to do any work so my daughter does so. It is the only gift which she has which makes me happy. Okay I am nothing but the wind the north wind blowing the gale force and asking for the foolish who pay money to get away with it. The thing is when one is the north wind and does nothing but blow cold.
Society says I am a lazy bone. But I am not do you know how much conniving one does not to work? How one does have to do all the plotting the planting and all that which is exhausting. I mean where did the good-natured daughters go and they come and demand money. Not ask but demand money from an old lady like me. I have none and that is the end of it. I am giving all of you this impression so you can think for yourself if a foolish daughter does things for nothing and I can connive and out do her brain why not?
I loath her asking me for money it shows she does not love me. Even the queen has volunteers in her garden nobody pays anybody these days. I used to be known for my being like the queen even look there is a resemblance. But of course, I have only one garden and they have many more than me. I meant no harm to these illustrious family who have so much money than me. I do not have enough and they have more than enough. My daughter must not volunteer to do their garden too. I need her more than they do.
The system of charity is that everyone must make everybody happy.
Look I having this nice garden makes everyone who visits most impressed by the whole showy flowers. I mean why not the thing is it is a place to be in and have a nice time with the leaning florals and all that sort of thing. Mostly she complains about the ivy. Most buy the flower ivy but she says it is a weed and hates it.
We all love the garden and my other daughter phoned and ordered the ingredients for the garden to be done. A ton of top soil. It is not wrong when siblings have the rivalry it makes the things in the garden just right.
It is deeply concerning what we do with our time in the garden I thought as much we are a caring society. We care so much we care as much as the fiends who go after us adding to their property. You see if I lose the garden the neighbours will take over the home as well? They dislike the garden for some reason. She is mad of course.
There are no care home beds.
“Terminations of the aborted foetus is the key thing.”
“By popular demand we depend on the garden to give us the foolish things which we ask for.”
“We love luxury.”
“Do not speak to me at all.”
If I lose my hands that would make me a dependent as well?
“You are young you will never lose your hands?”
“I am sixty-year-old woman what are you saying to me mum?”
“I am oddly eighty but feel as youthful as you do.”
“One is all heart.”
No not really eighty in my thirties in those days had to rush along to catch up.
I think they hate me. I continue doing the weeding and the weeding is when a gardener saw the weeds he run and jumped and nearly fell trying to get away.
“One ton of top soil how many hours does it take for that to be carted indoors?”
“The thing is do the best you can.”
“The rest of your life is the best thing.”
“The beast is here.”
“Seek help the situation is not dire.”
“Difficulties mean ask for help.”
Does it increase the informal atmosphere the formal atmosphere the things which they say as they stare at one blankly? The blank fish like gaze and the commercial success which means they do not have to do the gardening. My hands hurt.
“It is a calm day and they are all asking for the volunteering jobs being advertised because then they can meet the royals.”
“Well it is better than being with mother.”
“Well of course they actually have gold and silver in their coffers,”
“Do you mean the royals?”
“Yes, they are richer than me.”
“And mother but sorry for butting in they say we have too much money in the kitty.”
“Of course, they are in the hospitals adding to the psychology of the situation because they rich and me poor I am bearing the plate and asking for more money.”
“Get away with you there is no more money.”
“They never pay and they run the charities.”
“I worked for the charities over many decades.”
“So, you did.”
“But the charities only give to the destitute and I fail I fall in somewhere not near enough to the bottom and not near enough at the comfort zone. I am just meeting the demands.”
“Why you demean yourself?”
“I did not see it coming.”
“Because the folly is where did it come from this society which you speak about?”
“If one is psychic and a society is linked to each other that is where the thoughts the feelings come from.”
“I need a crystal ball to see all that.”
“This is never going to work you are my only difficulty in life the rest I can understand it is simple what they are but you? How unkind to make it drag on what and why and what makes you sick?”
“I can’t pin myself down.”
“You see the thing is when a woman as successful as myself can’t make out what the other woman is like it is like a curse.”
I do not comment.