I Wish I Was A Normal Girl

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three

My trek home was a long and grim one due to the fear of what would happen when I got home. My dad had called me earlier to tell me to not go to the gym at all and to go straight home. From the way his voice sounded, I knew not to question him at all and it scared me so much. I didn’t want to think about what they would do to me because it would only scare me more. On top of that, I knew that Valerie had told them about me getting rides from Kimora along with some other untrue things that she cooked up in her mind.

As I was walking, I suddenly felt something hard being thrown at me. Whatever it was felt slimy and gross. I turned to see some guys that my sister was friends piled in a Jeep with cartons of eggs in their hands. They laughed and began pelting me with eggs as I tried blocking them. I broke out into a run to get away from them, but they still continued to pelt me with them. They followed me all the way to my house as they pelted me with eggs. Quickly, I tried to unlock the front door, but they threw them despite that.

Pain exploded up my side and I cried out as my knees buckled. Tears stung my eyes and ran down my cheeks as I struggled to unlock my door. Finally, I managed to unlock it and get inside. I closed and locked the front door behind me. When I turned around, I saw my mom and dad standing there with angry expressions.

“Why the fuck are you not walking to school?” My dad thundered. I flinched from the time of his voice.

“I-I-I-I d-don’t kn-know,” I stammered.

“You do know, Marley,” My Mom fumed, “We’re trying to get you to lose some weight and you’re over here disobeying our rules by being a lazy fat ass!”

I flinched again when she said that, but she didn’t care.

“God. You’re such a fucking disappointment. No wonder those kids bully your ugly ass,” My dad hissed. The tears continued to run down my cheeks.

“Don’t cry now, you insolent fat ass,” My Mom snarled, “You thought you could just do whatever you wanted without facing the consequences and I’m honestly not surprised. It’s just like you to do something like this. You are the biggest disappointment I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“I can’t even look at you right now,” My dad hissed.

“Go upstairs to your room and don’t come out at all when it’s time for dinner. Since you love to disobey our rules, then you don’t deserve to eat dinner,” She told me.

“In fact, I don’t think you deserve to eat breakfast either. In the morning, don’t come into the kitchen. Go straight to school,” My dad added.

“As for lunch time at school, don’t even bother eating. If Valerie tells us that you are, then you will wish you never disobeyed is,” My Mom narrowed her eyes at me.

“Actually, you’re not allowed to eat for at least two weeks. Do you understand us?” He gave me that look that practically scared me.

“Y-Yes,” I nodded.

“Go upstairs,” My dad demanded harshly. Not wanting to anger them anymore, I went straight upstairs without any hesitation. I closed my door because my parents didn’t trust me enough to lock it. I carried my bag to the bathroom since I still had the Chic-Fil-A from this morning in there and locked the door. I sat down on my toilet and took the food out. Slowly, I began to eat it. Savoring every single bite was my best option because this was possibly going to be my last meal for the next two weeks. More tears began to slip from my eyes as I ate the food. The food began to taste terrible as the tears ran down my cheeks, but I couldn’t stop eating now.

The food was hard to swallow while crying and there were so many sobs caught in my throat, but I finally managed to do it. I hated the fact that things were like this and I hated the fact that my own family would rather see me suffer than to see me happy or smiling. I hated the fact that I was the black sheep of the family and that my parents placed my own siblings on a pedestal over me while I was casted off to the side like a nuisance. It killed me how much my own sister hated me enough that she wanted to always see me get in trouble with our parents. It killed me that things were this way, but I did not want to burden anyone with my problems. Everyone else had their own things to worry about and I didn’t want them to just drop everything they were doing just to deal with me. I already felt like a burden to Sadia and Kimora since they always bought me breakfast every single morning. I didn’t want to feel like anymore of a burden to them.

Once I finished eating, I put the bag deep into my backpack and then placed it in my linen closet. I stripped my out of dirty clothes that were starting to smell from the eggs. I winced when it was time to take off my shirt. When I looked in the mirror, I saw that a bruise was forming on the side of my abdomen where they had thrown the baseball. As much as I needed ice, I couldn’t very well go downstairs and get it. I was banned from the kitchen and it wouldn’t do me any good to disobey them. I threw my clothes into the hamper and then stepped into the shower. I made sure to wash my hair throughly to get the eggs out of them.

After my shower, I moisturized my body, brushed my teeth thoroughly to get rid of the smell and taste of Chic-Fil-A in my mouth, I twisted my hair then tied it down, and put on my pajamas. I walked out of the bathroom with my backpack and cracked down on my homework. At around ten o’clock, I finally finished my homework and took out my phone only to find that Kyle had left me ten missed calls and two voicemails. I started to feel bad for not noticing that he had called so I called him back.

“Oh so now she picks up the phone,” Kyle said. It was relieving to have him answer the phone, even though he always answers it whenever I call.

“I’m sorry, Kyle. I was doing my homework,” I apologized.

“It’s fine, sis. I understand,” He responded. A small smile came over my face.

“Anyways. How was the beach?” I asked.

“It was fine. We played soccer with some guys and a few locals, Sam got stung by a jellyfish twice, Daquan got some girl’s number, and I almost drowned,” He answered.

“You almost drowned? Kyle that’s nothing to be proud of,” I giggled.

“It is when you get saved by some really cute girl,” He replied.

“Ooh! I’m going to tell Kimora,” I said.

“Please don’t tell her,” He panicked as I laughed at his expense. It was fun to torture him with the threat of telling Kimora.

“I won’t, Kyle,” I responded.

“Woo. I almost had a heart attack,” He sighed in relief. I laughed again.

“Other than you being a straight up snitch, what did you need to tell me earlier?” He asked.

“Oh...umm....I was going to tell you that they signed me up for a gym membership,” I replied.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He hissed.

“Yeah,” I answered. He let out a string of curses. I knew he was pissed off. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know that, but I hoped that he wouldn’t call and say something to them. I don’t want them to find another reason to get mad at me.

“I don’t know why they sign you up for that shit. You don’t need to lose any fucking weight. You are fine the way you are,” Kyle seethed.

“Thanks, Kyle,” I mumbled. I knew he meant every word he said, but I couldn’t help to feel the opposite. I love my brother, but I didn’t take what he, or anyone else for that matter, said to me, especially when it was about my weight.

“You’re welcome. Just remember that even if our parents can’t see it, you’re beautiful to me. You’re beautiful to Kimora, you’re beautiful to Sadia, you’re beautiful to aunt Gina, and you’re beautiful to our grandmother as well. You are beautiful just the way you are, Marley,” Kyle said. Small smile formed on my face.

“Thanks, Kyle,” I replied.

“You’re welcome,” He said.

“Enough about me. What’s next on your little trip around the world?” I asked.

“Next Friday we’re leaving here and heading to the Dominican Republic,” He answered.

“Really?” I inquired.

“Yeah. It’s our last stop before we take a break and come home next month,” He responded.

“You’re coming home next month?” I excitedly asked. It was excited to know that my brother was finally coming back home after traveling for at least a year. I missed him so much and it was hard not being able to see him every single day like I used to.

“Yeah,” He chuckled, “I’m a little home sick so I’ll be back next month and I’ll be staying until New Years.”

“We have to do something as soon as you get here,” I said.

“Let me take you out for frozen yogurt as soon as I get back. You can get as many toppings as you’d like,” He told me. My mouth watered a little at the thought of getting frozen yogurt.

“Really?” I asked.

“Yes really, but to get it you gotta keep it a secret from Kimora. I want to surprise her when I come back,” He answered.

“I’ll keep it a secret, Kyle. Don’t worry,” I promised.

“Thanks, Marley,” He replied.

“You’re welcome. Now tell me more about Mexico,” I said.

“Fine Fine.” For the rest of the night, Kyle and I talked to each other until it was twelve in the morning. He had to literally order me to go to sleep so that I could be up in time for school. Aside from bumping into the guy that I have been crushing on since middle school, I was happy to be able to talk to my brother before bed.

The next day, I woke up to my alarm going off and my father banging on my door like a lunatic.

“Get your fat ass out of bed now,” He barked. Slowly, I got out of bed with a groan due to the pain I was feeling on my side. I made my bed and headed to my bathroom to get ready. After my shower, I dried off, moisturized my body, brushed my teeth, put on my undergarments, and untwisted my hair. I pulled on pair of jeans, a black hoodie, and a pair of timberlands. I grabbed my backpack, phone, and keys before heading downstairs. I put on an old brown coat that my aunt used to own in the nineties and left.

Just so I wouldn’t anger my parents, I decided to walk to school. I sent a text to Kimora to let her know that I was going to walk. She rejected the idea at first, but after some convincing she finally gave up. It was too cold for me to even be out here, but I couldn’t risk having my parents getting mad at me again. I shoved my hands deep into my pockets and continued on my way.

About halfway towards the school, my legs began to feel a little stiff and my feet were freezing inside of my thick socks. My hands are still as cold as ever and I took them out of my pocket to rub them together to warm them up.

“Hey,” I heard someone call out to me. A sense fear started to course through me. My eyes went straight to the ground and I began to speed walk.

“Hey! Wait!” I heard that same person call out to me. My pace picked up as I continued on my path to school. Please, God. Don’t let me get kidnapped. Please don’t let me get kidnapped. I’m begging you to not let me kidnapped. The sound of the car stopping and the door closing caused me to break out into a sprint. Please don’t let me get caught. Please don’t let me get caught. Please don’t let me get caught. Please don’t let me get caught.

Because I wasn’t paying attention, I ended up tripping over a piece of sidewalk that was sticking up. To make sure that I didn’t hit my head, I held out my hands and caught myself. A hiss of pain escaped my lips from the feeling of the harsh ground against my hands.

“Oh shit. Are you okay?” The person asked.

“P-Please d-don’t k-kidnap m-me,” I stuttered.

“Kidnap you?” They asked in confusion. The voice of the person finally registered in my mind and I turned around to find Xander standing there with a confused look on his face. I was at a loss for words and couldn’t believe that he was standing here before me.

“Here. Let me help you up,” He held out his hand and I took. I winced at the feeling of his hand against mine.

“Thanks,” I mumbled.

“No problem,” He replied, “I feel bad for scaring you like that. It probably wasn’t all that smart of me to just yell at you from my car or chase after you for that matter.”

“Yeah. You kind of scared me a little,” I said.

“I’m so sorry about that, but are you okay? You took a pretty hard fall,” He looked at me worriedly.

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine,” I assured him.

“You sure?” He asked.

“I’m positive,” I nodded. He looked at me as if to inspect me for any injuries and his eyes landed on my hands. It kind of made me nervous in a way.

“Your hand tells me otherwise,” He remarked. I looked down at my hands and saw that they were bleeding.

“Oh...umm....uhhh....”

“Come on. Let me drive you to school,” He said.

“Wait. I’m fine. You really don’t have to do that,” I told him.

“I’m not letting you walk to school with your hands looking like that,” He replied looking at me.

“I’m fine. It’s only a minor injury,” I tried to convince him.

“Even if it is minor, I’m not going to allow you to walk in the cold with your hands looking like that,” He insisted.

“Please just let me walk,” I begged. As great of an opportunity as this was, I didn’t want to be caught by Valerie getting a ride from him and get into anymore trouble than I am now. He looked at me for a moment and nodded. I let out a sigh of relief when he started walking back to his car and turned to continue on my way. The cold air felt harsh against my injured hands.

Suddenly, I felt myself being lifted off the ground and I started thrashing around to try and get whoever it was that had picked me up to drop me. I didn’t care if I got injured again as long as I didn’t get kidnapped. They opened the car door and sat me in there firmly. When I looked at who my captor was, I saw that it was him. He buckled me in and closed the door before I could even protest. He got in and turned on the child lock.

“What the heck are you doing? Please just me walk,” I begged. At this rate, I was going to be in some deep shit when I got home and I just knew that my dad was going probably going to handle me when I got home.

“No way. I’m not going to allow you to walk to school like that,” He stubbornly said.

“Please let me walk,” I pleaded. He started his car without another word and drove us to school.

“Please just let me out right here,” I begged him as tears stung my eyes.

“Who do you want to walk so badly?” He asked, “It’s too cold outside.”

“It’s.....It’s....It’s complicated,” I replied. He looked over at me for a split second and sighed finally. He pulled over a few feet away from the school and stopped the car. He got out and walked over to my side. He opened the door and unbuckled the seatbelt.

“Fine. I’ll let you walk, but I’ll be waiting for you at the doors of the school,” He said.

“What? Why?” I asked in confusion.

“I’m going to take you to the clinic myself so I can see to it that the nurse helps you with your hands,” He answered.

“Oh no,” I shook my head, “You don’t need to do that.”

“Yes I do. I’m the reason why you injured your hands,” He firmly stated.

“But...but....-”

“No buts. I’m doing this,” He said. I let out an exasperated sigh and nodded. He moved and allowed me to get out of the car. He got back into his car and I watched as he drove away for a moment before letting out sigh and walking towards the school.

When I arrived there, I saw that he was there waiting for me, like he had promised. I walked towards him and he walked inside with me. As soon as we stepped through the doors, all eyes are on us. People began to whisper as they watched us walk through the hall together. My eyes went straight to the floor as we walked. He didn’t seem to pay them any mind because he continued to look ahead with me following behind him. I was relieved when we finally made it to the clinic.

“Mrs. Ramsey,” He called out to the nurse. The brown haired, middle aged woman turned to us.

“Hello, Xander. What brings you by?” She smiled kindly at him.

“Oh. Well we kind of had a little accident,” He gestured towards me. She looked over at me and I showed her my injured hands. She gasped and walked over towards me.

“What the hell did you do?” She scolded him. She smacked his arm.

“Ow! Nothing,” He replied.

“Her hands tell a different story, Xander,” She glared at him. She lead me over to the single bed she had in here and sat me down.

“Fine. I might’ve scared her a bit,” He admitted.

“Scared her? Why in the world would you do that?” She asked.

“It wasn’t intentional. I just saw her walking to school and I tried offering a ride, but she thought I was trying to kidnap her,” He replied.

“Is this true, honey?” She asked me.

“Yeah, but he left out the part where he chased after me and forced me into the car with him,” I answered.

“Xander, your mother raised you better than this,” She chided as she tended to my hands. When she applied the rubbing alcohol, I hissed in pain. She gave me an apologetic look and continued.

“I know and I’m sorry for doing that. I wasn’t trying to scare her or anything. I just didn’t want her to walk in this weather,” He replied.

“Well you had good intentions and it was sweet of you,” She smiled, “However, it would’ve been better to state your name first.”

“Yeah. That would’ve been smarter,” He agreed. She finished up tending to my hands and then wrapped gauze around it.

“Alright, sweetie. I’m done,” She said.

“Thank you,” I smiled faintly as I stood up to my feet.

“You’re welcome. Now you two better get to class. Okay?” She replied.

“Okay. Thanks, Mrs. Ramsey,” Xander replied as he let me walk out first.

“Thank you for taking me to the nurse,” I said.

“No problem. I still feel bad about making you fall and for scaring you,” He told me.

“You’re fine,” I assured him. He smiled.

“Do you mind if I walk you to class?” He asked.

“That’s alright. I can get there myself,” I responded. As much as I wanted him to do that, I couldn’t. I’d make a fool of myself the entire time and I don’t think I could live down that kind of embarrassment in front him considering how he’s my crush.

“I know that, but I kind of, sort of want to,” He said.

“Oh....umm....well I guess it’s alright then,” I murmured.

“Great,” He grinned. We both began walking together to my first period and just like before, people stared and whispered as we passed by, but no one dared to say anything at all. I kept my eyes trained on the ground the entire time.

“So where’s your first period?” He asked.

“It’s just around that corner,” I replied.

“What class do you have?” He inquired.

“I have AP English Literature,” I answered.

“Really? That’s what I have,” He said. Of course he had that class. How did I know this? Well we were in the same class together. He sat in the front with his friends and I sat in the back with mine.

“How come I’ve never noticed you in there?” He questioned.

“Oh. I...umm...sit in the back of the classroom,” I responded.

“You do? Hm. Shows you how much I pay attention,” He joked. A small smile formed on my lips. He continued to talk to me as we made our way to class. He was an easy person to talk to despite house nervous I was the entire time. It was still unbelievable to me that he, of all, people would ever talk to me, but crazier things have happened.

We finally reached our class and we both headed in together. All eyes were on us once again, including Kimora and Sadia’s. Speaking of those two, they were grinning like idiots at me and Xander.

“Thanks for letting me walk with you,” He said.

“No problem,” I nodded. I headed over to my seat and instantly those two were on me like bees to honey. They both began to pelt me with questions about Xander and it was getting pretty overwhelming.

“Can you guys calm down and let me speak?” I asked in irritation. Kimora continued until Sadia pinched her.

“Ow!” She mumbled.

“Thanks, Sadia,” I said.

“You’re welcome,” She smiled.

“As for Xander and I walking here together, long story short, he was trying to give me a ride, I thought he was trying to kidnap, I injured my hands, and he walked me here,” I explained.

“I’m not satisfied with this answer,” Kimora said.

“Do you want the longer version or something?” I asked.

“Duh,” They both responded in unison. I let out a sigh.

“Fine,” I grumbled.

“Yes!” They hissed as I rolled my eyes.

At around lunch time, I was at my locker getting my books for my next two classes that were after this period before meeting up with Kimora and Sadia. The door to my locker slammed suddenly and I turned to see a very livid Valerie standing there with her equally upset minions.

“What the hell were you doing talking to Xander?” She asked. Even though I had a crush on Xander, Valerie did too, which was no secret at all within the school. She practically worshipped the ground he walked on and made it her mission to scare away my and every girl within the school who had the slightest crush on him. It was crazy. I know, but no one dared to go against her.

“I...uhh...umm-”

“Save it,” She clenched her teeth, “You better stay the fuck away from him or else there will be hell to pay, you fat waste of space. Xander is mine and mine alone.”

“V-Valerie, I-I d-don’t l-like h-him,” I stammered.

“It doesn’t matter if you like him or not. Guys like Xander don’t go for ugly, fat bitches like you who will suffocate them,” She sneered. Tears stung my eyes.

“If you think that you have a chance with him, then you’re mistaken. No guy wants to be seen with the likes of you. Look at you. You’re disgusting. You look like a slob and you dress like one too,” She snapped. I felt the tears began to slip.

“And you’re so pathetic too. What made you think that you’d ever have a chance in hell with him?” She snarled.

“I-”

“If you know what’s good for you, stay away from him or else you’ll regret ever crossing me,” She poked me in the chest hard. She turned on her heel and left me there crying.

Why does she hate me so much?

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