I Wish I Was A Normal Girl

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five

“Ooh! Nice clothes,” Kimora smiled as I approached her and Sadia. It was now Monday morning and I had decided to wear the clothes my aunt had bought me because she would throw a fit if I didn’t. Today, I was wearing a pair of skinny jeans she bought from Fashion Nova, a red Tommy Hilfiger sweatshirt, gold hoops, and a pair of white low top Air Force Ones. My hair was in a little ways past my shoulder in a nice twist out.

“Aww! Your make up looks so beautiful,” Sadia said. Today was one of those few days where I would actually wear a full face of make up. Usually, I didn’t because I needed to at least have one day where my face could breath, which just meant some mascara and lipgloss for me.

“Thanks,” I smiled. Hopefully, today would actually be a good day for me, which meant that people would leave me alone and not come at me today as usual. In the back of my mind, I knew that it was a fat chance of that ever happening, but I needed to be optimistic so I just pushed those negativity be thoughts in the far corners of my mind.

“You’re welcome, beautiful,” Kimora replied.

“Although you guys say that I look good, you both look far more better than me,” I said.

“You think so?” Kimora asked looking at her outfit. Today, Kimora was wearing an oversized blue shirt, a pair fishnets, a blue bandana, and a pair of light gray snakeskin ankle boots. Sadia was wearing a vintage looking adidas hoodie, a black hijab, a pair of light colored jeans, and Doc Martens.

“Yeah I do,” I nodded.

“Aww thanks,” She smiled.

“I didn’t think this outfit would be all that. I just threw on the closest thing I could find,” Sadia chimed in.

“Same,” Kimora chuckled.

“For two people who just threw something together, you both look good,” I told them.

“I know I do, but you look just as good as we do,” Kimora said.

“Thank you. My aunt bought me these clothes and you know how she is if I don’t wear them,” I replied. Like I said before, my aunt will throw a fit because a) she was the one buying my clothes, b) she was the one buying my clothes, and c) she was the one buying my clothes. It would be useless for me to just leave them in the closet with the tag still on them because she would ask me if I had worn the clothes and if my response wasn’t a ‘yes’, then she’d get mad at me and force me to wear them then send photos of myself wearing them. I love my aunt so much, but this entire thing with her and the clothes she buys me is a losing battle, especially since Kyle, my grandmother, and Eric are on her side.

“Did she make you take a picture?” Sadia asked.

“Yeah,” I nodded, “She was really happy about it.”

“Hm. I bet,” Kimora smiled. We began walking through the doors of the school together.

“So did you guys find a dress for homecoming yet?” Sadia asked.

“Yeah. I went with my aunt to the mall to get one,” I answered.

“Ooh! What does it look like?” Kimora inquired.

“You’ll just have to wait and I see,” I smiled.

“Oh come on!” Kimora whined, “Can’t you at least give me a hint or something?”

“Nope. Top secret,” I shook my head.

“Top secret my ass,” Kimora huffed.

“If it makes you feel any better, my dress is top secret too,” Sadia added.

“That doesn’t make me feel any better. It makes me feel worse,” Kimora snapped. Sadia and I laughed.

“Whoops,” Sadia shrugged.

“You’re an ass,” Kimora grumbled.

“Right back at cha,” Sadia countered. Kimora glared at her while I laughed.

“Before I forget, what was that thing you were going to tell us about yesterday?” Sadia asked.

“What thing?” I looked at her in confusion.

“That thing that was ‘oh so terrible’ or something like that,” Kimora answered. A frown formed on my face at the mention of the topic they were bringing up.

“Oh. That,” I muttered.

“Yes. That,” Sadia said, “Now tell us what you were going to tell us in the first place.”

“Please do. The anticipation of the entire thing is killing me,” Kimora told me. An exasperated sigh fell from my lips and I opened my mouth ready to say something, but was stopped short by the sound of the one voice I dreaded ever hearing in the morning calling my name. Slowly, I turned around and was met with the sight of my glaring at me hatefully as she and her cronies approached me.

“If she tries something, I’m whooping her ass with or without Kyle’s consent,” Kimora mumbled to me.

“Calm down, Kimora. Not every solution to a problem is violence,” Sadia whispered to her.

“It is when you’re the wicked bitch of the east,” Kimora whispered back.

“So I heard that you and Xander were hanging out at the mall when I specifically told you not to,” She sneered at me.

“We....we weren’t h-hanging out, Valerie. I was just there to find a dress,” I said.

“Yeah right, you lying fat ass bitch,” She spat. A small crowd of people began to form around us. They all had their cameras out and recording just in case there was a fight, which I hope this augment wouldn’t escalate to.

“So what if she was hanging out with him? It’s a free country,” Kimora snapped at her. Oh God. Please don’t let this get any worse for me. Please don’t let it get any worse for me. Other than the time that Kimora had beaten up Valerie, they had gotten a verbal altercation that lead to Kimora almost smacking Valerie had Sadia and I not been there to hold her back. Because she was angry at Kimora, Valerie took it out on me by faking a couple of injuries and shedding some tears to our parents. My dad had whooped me so bad with an extension cord that I ended up having welts on my legs and butt. It was so bad that I had a hard time sitting down with yelping in pain and crying at the same time. I ended up missing school for a few days just until the pain went away.

“Kimora, calm....calm down,” I whispered in a shaky voice. The feeling of something much worse than last time began scare me, but I I needed to calm down first so nobody starts asking questions about my behavior. I didn’t want to burden anyone with my problems because they all had their own.

“She needs to stay away from him because he’s mine and mine alone,” Valerie snapped.

“How is he yours when he won’t even give you the time of day?” Kimora shot at her. A chorus of ‘oohs’ filled the hallway. An angry expression came over Valerie’s face and she glared at Kimora.

“Shut up, you stupid slut. You open your mouth just as much as you open your legs to half the guys in school,” Valerie spat.

“Umm....no, sweetie. That’s not me, that’s you,” Kimora countered.

“Don’t try and say that I’m a hoe when Trey Jackson had you in his bed last week,” Valerie smirked. Kimora began laughing loudly at her insult.

“And you actually believed that shit? God don’t even believe that,” Kimora chuckled, “If you’re trying to find some dirt on someone, don’t use Trey Jackson of all people as a source. He is the biggest liar around school.”

“How is he a liar when there’s video evidence?” Valerie said out loud. The crowd around us began to whisper and murmur.

“I always knew she was a hoe.”

“She’s so dirty for cheating on her boyfriend while he’s away.”

“Right. I feel so bad for Kyle.”

“She doesn’t deserve someone like him.”

“I can’t wait till he finds out how grimy she is and dumps her.”

“Video evidence? Where?” Kimora cocked an eyebrow.

“Right here on my phone,” Valerie held up her phone with a smirk.

“Show me the receipts,” Kimora did the come hither motion with her hand.

“Oh you’ll see it real soon,” Valerie said, “In fact, everyone is going to see it real soon.”

“Whatever they are about to see is probably fake, especially considering how the only video recorded of me getting my back blown out is on your brother’s phone,” Kimora explained, “Just so you know, those videos are actually showing my face and not the back of my head.”

Kimora winked at Valerie who glared icily at her. I could tell that it was bothering her to see Kimora so calm and collected right now, on the outside, while talking to her, which wasn’t what she wanted in the first place. Valerie wanted to get a rise out of Kimora, but she was failing badly at it, and that had to be very much so embarrassing for her.

Sadia let out a chuckle at their exchange causing Valerie to snap her head in her direction. My heart almost dropped into my stomach at the sound of it. I knew then and there that as soon as I got home, my parents, especially my dad would be on my ass the minute I walked through the door.

“And what are you laughing at, you terrorist looking bitch?!” Valerie snarled.

“At you and these lame insults you think are hurting anyone,” Sadia answered.

“Oh shut up, bitch. At least I’m not some future terrorist,” Valerie spat venomously.

“G-Guys, l-let’s just.....just go,” I mumbled. My sister’s burning gaze turned to me as soon as I spoke up. I regretted ever saying anything in the first place. It’s only making things worse for me.

“I almost forgot your fat ass was there, although who could miss some obese, pathetic, virgin of a loser who can’t even get a date. Let alone manage to get some guy to actually like you,” Valerie shot at me. Tears began to sting my eyes.

“Just look at you. You’re such an ugly, fat bitch who’s own parents don’t even want her at all,” Valerie hissed, “I mean, who could ever want someone like you? You’re a disgrace, a burden, and some extra weight, literally.”

The tears began to slip from eyes as I stood there listening to her insult me.

“I’m gonna best your ass for saying that,” Kimora clenched her teeth. Valerie smiled smugly at me.

“Why? It’s the truth. Marley is a worthless, fat piece of shit who should’ve been aborted a long time ago like my parents told me. Marley is a mistake that should’ve never happened and she should just do us all a favor and kill herself. It’s only fair to the rest of us so that we all don’t have to continue to look at her,” Valerie added.

“She’s right.”

“She should just kill herself already.”

“She’s so ugly and pathetic.”

“Did you hear what Valerie said? Even her own parents don’t want her.”

“I wouldn’t either if I were them.”

“If she does do it, then I’ll be so relieved because at least I won’t have to look at her anymore.”

Without so much as a word or sound, I pushed through the crowd and ran away as they jeered at me and chanted for me to kill myself.

“Marley!” Kimora and Sadia shouted after me. I didn’t stop or look back at all. I just ran. I ran as fast as my legs could take me to some place in this hell we call school. The hot tears ran down my cheeks as I ran down the halls. The horrible chant they were all shouting continued to fill my ears even as I ran around the corner. A few people who hadn’t been at the doors of the school, looked at me curiously as I sprinted down the hall crying trying to find the nearest place I could hide just to be alone.

Because I wasn’t watching where I was going, I bumped into a hard chest, as cliché as it sounds.

“Hey, Mar-what’s wrong?” The sound of Xander’s voice filled my ears.

“N-nothing,” I sniffed with a shaky voice.

“Marley, it can’t be nothing if you’re crying,” He looked at me. I refused to look him in the eye at all because I didn’t want him to see how pathetic I looked. Xander Liao didn’t need to see me like this because it was embarrassing, especially since I have a crush on him. He probably just thinks that I’m some pathetic, emotional, nuisance already. I can’t blame him.

“P-Please....just....j-just d-drop....drop it,” I said on the verge of sobbing.

“But, Marley-”

“Just drop it, Xander! Please,” I sharply stated.

“Marley-”

“P-Please, Xander,” I begged getting ready to cry once more. This time, I looked him in his beautiful brown-almost-black eyes. Silently, he nodded and I continued on my way down the hallway without looking back. The guilt from how bad I talked to him weighed down on me and made me feel even worse than before, but it was better this way. I didn’t want to become a nuisance to him with my problems. It was bad enough that Kyle, Kimora, Sadia, My aunt, My grandmother, and Eric were practically taking care of me. I didn’t want to add more people onto the list of those whom I owe so much to for helping throughout these years. Xander didn’t deserve that at all. He didn’t deserve to be bothered by a burden like me who just weighs everyone else down. It’s like Valerie said, I’m a mistake. An unwanted burden that even my own parents don’t want.

After searching, I finally found a stairwell within the school that was barely even used. I hid behind it, then sat down on the ground. Finally, I burst out into tears again and began sobbing as I sat there. Everyone’s words, the things I endured every single day with my parents and my own negative coursed through my mind as tear after tear slipped from my eyes. In that moment, I felt truly unwanted and worthless.

As I cried, someone slid down beside me and moved my head against their shoulder. I knew that whoever was beside me was neither Sadia or Kimora. Whoever it was simply allowed me to continue crying with my head on their shoulder the entire time without any indication on who they were. It’s not like I needed to know in the first place because I appreciated whoever they were for just sitting there with me as I cried without asking any questions whatsoever. That’s all I actually needed. A shoulder to cry on.

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