It was an accident, a very unexpected and unfortunate accident which resulted in me losing half my memory. I found myself feeling very disoriented after the incident, and although I could remember the panic-stricken glares I got from those around me, I couldn’t recall anything else. It wasn’t until I looked down at my strapped hands, that I slowly started to piece together what had happened: I was now the victim of a scientific catastrophe. I could hear intense murmuring amongst the witnesses, and I tried to listen attentively for any sign that this was just a dream, that the precious memories weren’t just snatched away from me.
I listened for any sign that my identity wasn’t altered as a result of the malfunction, but I didn’t need everyone’s manic banter to tell me otherwise. Suddenly everything started to dissolve into a dark cloudy fog. It was as if I was having an out of body experience, as an electric jolt shot through my body sending me into immediate shock. Right before the darkness took me under, I saw a lady’s face. From what I could make out, she looked like an elderly lady who could pass as my grandma. I couldn’t see anything other than her thick gray hair and vibrant blue eyes. Those eyes were the last source of light that I had to the outside world, and they were the last thing I saw before everything went completely dark.
I don’t remember being discharged, much less waking up in the hospital to begin with; it was as if all the details of the past 5 years of my life were completely wiped from my memory. It was a very foreign feeling to me, and no matter how hard I tried to remember, nothing resurfaced. It completely boggled my mind how I went from knowing everything like the back of my hand, to trying to remember what I ate for breakfast yesterday…As I sat at my desk in my room which was completely cluttered with every knick knack and collectible you could think of, all I could think about was that I was no longer the Brody knew and looked up to, I was no longer this quick-witted, charismatic guy who was going places with his life- I was now known as the guy who lost half his memory in a scientific catastrophe...
Part of me wanted to blame myself for even going to the stupid convention, and giving into my friend Derek to volunteer to be the guinea pig of the experiment, and the other part just wanted to blame him altogether. I knew it was wrong to blame Derek, because he couldn’t have possibly predicted for this to happen, however, at the same time he not only encouraged me to go up there, but he also witnessed what happened and didn’t do anything to help. It’s been two years since the accident, and although there will always be a part of me that resents Derek for not being there for me during the accident, at the end of the day he was my best friend and has had my back since then.
A week after the accident, I was put in special Ed classes, because I was starting to fall behind in my general Ed classes. I couldn’t retain the information like I used to, and it was a big adjustment and I had to work my butt off just to maintain my A-B with the occasional C grade point average. Everything that once came so naturally to me became ten times harder as I had to relearn it, and even then I still had difficulties comprehending the material. Every time I worked on an assignment or stared at the wall in deep thought, my mind always reverted back to one question I thought I knew the answer to, but now wasn’t so sure: who am I now? Who was Brody Chester?
I remember the first time I started journaling; my now ex-girlfriend gave it to me as a break-up present, as if that was a thing… She said that it would help me gather my thoughts and help rediscover myself. She also said she would always be there for me and she was a woman of her word. Despite her already moved on, she texted me every morning for two years. We’ve even met up a couple of times, but I’d be lying if I said that didn’t stir up some old feelings and open any old wounds.
I’d been journaling on and off for a while, but as I opened it to a clean page something came over me and I just started writing. I didn’t know how much time had passed, but eventually I heard a light knock on my door. My head shot up. Was it already time for Derek to be here? He offered to let me move in with him and his brother Brandon, who was also a really good friend of mine, but they weren’t supposed to be here for another couple hours- or so I thought. I didn’t have a concept of time anymore. I sighed. Just another reminder that my brain wasn’t normal, that I was nothing more than damaged goods.