I sighed as I sat next to him on my bed. He was still fuming and although I knew why, I didn’t quite understand why he’d taken it out on Lavender like that. I was the one he was pissed with. I was the one that kept the abuse a secret from him. He knew my tactics better than most, so he knows it’s possible for me to make someone keep my secret.
“That wasn’t fair Jackson and you know it.” I spoke trying hard to control my voice from wavering or mumbling.
“I really don’t give a shit about what’s fair or not.” he spat, making me cringe a bit. It had been a while since I’ve heard him use a tone like that directed at me and after last night, it scared me.
“You can’t be mad at her for something that I should’ve come clean about, but I was scared. I feared losing you. When you were locked up for nearly killing him, who would’ve protected me then? Who would have been there to stop him from trying to get his revenge?” I whined leaning my head on his shoulder. I felt as he went stiff before his body started to relax. He exhaled an angry breath before slowly wrapping his arm around me and pulling me into a hug. I hadn’t realized that I’d been crying until I felt the wetness on his shirt.
“I’m not pissed about that Iris. I’m pissed because when I attempted to cheat on you, it was because I thought it was you with my brother.” he explained as I stared at him unable to move my lips to form the correct question. “It was that night I had been drinking a lot and around the time you and Lav got the same hairstyle. We had plans for the night because you said that she would be out all night. When I got here I saw two people going at it on the couch. I didn’t want to believe it so I texted you. Nothing. I tried calling and still I got no response. It broke my heart. I didn’t know how to ask so I didn’t. I let it fester and build until I hated you enough to cheat. Now I feel like an idiot and I yelled at her for keeping secrets that ruined everything. I yelled at her because of how stupid I felt. It wasn’t until after it all that my brother told me he was the one that was here that night. I was pissed and we got into a fight. I never even considered the fact that it could’ve been Lav he was talking about. I never let anyone explain, including you, and because of that I lost time with you. You are all I ever wanted Iris and I let my own jealousy take that from me.”
I stared at him, not knowing what to say. So much time had been wasted over absolutely nothing. So many preventative things had happened that didn’t need to and all it took was for someone to speak up. We were all stupid. It was that simple, we just needed to talk.
….or would it be that we just needed to listen.
Whatever the reason I was seeing him in an entirely new light now. Maybe that’s why I practically threw myself at him before kissing him with more passion than I knew was capable of a person. I nearly cried from relief as he kissed me back just as intense.