I wasn’t sure how much time had passed as I laid there listening to her even breaths as she cuddled closer to me. It felt so good having her tucked into my side, that I seriously considered the possibility of us being back together. It was only for a moment though. Her voice was in my ears repeatedly screaming that it would never happen. I sighed, as much as I didn’t want to move, I knew eventually I’d have too.
I could delude myself into thinking that I charmed my way into having sex with her one more time, but who was I fooling. She didn’t really put up a fight and she wanted it as much as I did. Still,that was going to be as good as I got with her. I knew that was it between us and I only had myself to blame. I wasn’t what she needed when she needed it. I was a coward and I let my bruised ego get the best of me.
At the time it was easier.
Giving her a final kiss atop her head, I slowly detangled my body from hers before trying to get dressed as quietly as possible. “I’m so sorry Iris.” I whispered as a single tear slid down my cheek. I hurriedly wiped it away and left closing the door softly behind me. Every ounce of my being was telling me to stay, but the little voice in my head was screaming that it was better that I go. It took all the energy I had left in my body to take that first step away from her door, but somehow I managed.
“Good to see that nothing has changed about you Jackson.” came a disappointed voice from behind me. I sighed allowing my shoulders to drop as my head hung.
“I’m trying to do what she wants Lavender.” I sighed. “What she specifically made clear. She doesn’t-”
“No, Jackson, you’re doing what is easiest for you like always.” she spat. You know you broke her and trying to get her back is more work that you’re willing to do.”
“Way to be neutral Lave.” I groaned rolling my eyes at her.
“Does your girlfriend know that you’re here?” she spat as I flinched. I had gotten under her skin, that much was clear, but neither of them knew the full story and I wasn’t going to be the one to tell them.
“We broke up.” I shrugged.
“Does she know that the two of you are over? Or is this like those other times when you claimed to be single?”
“SHE dumped ME.” I spat putting emphasis on each word.
“Why?” she pressed annoying me further.
“It’s none of your business Lave.” I growled.
“If you want my help, make it my business. Why did she leave you?”
“Fine.” I groaned getting closer to her. “I accepted a request on my day off and she didn’t like it. It was only that one, but it had more to do with who it was rather than why I did it. It also didn’t help that every time we’ve argued lately, I’ve called her Iridessa. She really didn’t like that.” I jumped hearing as her cup crashed into a million pieces as it hit the floor. I wanted desperately to convey my message to her that I hadn’t even notice her drop it.
“What?” she gasped.
We had been standing here in silence. I was leaning against the wall trying to ignore the death glare she was sending me.
“What the hell did you just say?” she spat her tone acidic and full of disbelief. I expected nothing else. “I will kill you before I let you lie to me Jackson.” she spat. I didn’t blame her. For awhile now I hadn’t been trustworthy in their eyes. Not to mention a drunken stupor I’d been in that lead to one big misunderstanding. It’s rumored that I tried to get with her. Even though I knew she was Iris’s best-friend, and that it would hurt the most if we hooked up. Still, apparently I tried…
...and got rejected.
Now I, personally, don’t believe it believe it. Lavender was also a friend of mine. From what I remember of that night, I was drunk and begging for another chance with Iris. However, I never mention Iris name, so I can understand how my intentions could be misconstrued. It took forever trying to get Lavender on my side and clearly she wasn’t a hundred percent there yet.
“You heard me Lave.” I groaned. “I never stopped caring, it just back then I had to leave.”
“I call bullshit Jackson. Why did you really leave then if you didn’t stop? She’s not leftovers Jackson. You can’t just pop her in the fridge to e- I mean for later.” she grimace as I tried to hold back a laugh. She rolled her eyes before coming over to punch me.
“You know damn well she asked me to leave Lave. I did what she asked. She DUMPED me. What was I sup-”
“How about trying not cheating you dick?! Of course she kicked your ass to the curve. YOU CHEATED JACKSON!” she yelled. I panicked glancing at her door hoping that she was still asleep. I really didn’t them both yelling at me for something they assumed. It was pointless trying to tell them the entire story now, they wouldn’t believe me either way.
“Will you lower your damn voice before you wake her?” I spat wide-eyed and frantic.
“What made you accept the request Jackson.” she asked completely ignoring me. “Was this your plan overall? To fuck her in the middle of a storm and then make your escape?” she spat making me frown. They really did think so little of me now.
“Fuck off.” I spat my irritation high. “Regardless of what you think of me, I’m nothing like that. You do the math Lave because I’m pretty sure she texted you first. We both know that even though she loves the snow, she wouldn’t be out at two in the fucking morning in the middle of a fucking storm. I knew something was wrong then and I was right. The dick left her sitting on the porch with nothing but some joggers and a thin off the shoulder t-shirt. All she had was a fucking blanket wrapped around her, that wasn’t keeping her warm. All of her things were packed. Anything could have happened to her and he didn’t care one bit. He left her out there crying and battered. HE’D PUTTING HIS FUCKING HANDS ON HER AND LEFT HER TO FREEZE! SHE HAS BRUISES EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE AND SHE WAS BLEEDING!” I yelled before failing to calm myself down. “I could have killed him right then and there, but she needed me more. I’m different than what you think.”
“What makes you any different Jackson? What makes this time different? You may not have hit her, but you still left her crying and begging for you to come back.” I clenched my fist tighter trying to keep my composure. I could let the comparison slide this once. No matter what she says, I’d never be as bad as him.
“I’ve learned from my mistakes Lave.” I sighed. “Whether you want to believe it or not, I have. I don’t have to prove that to nobody but her. She’s made it clear though. My chances are gone.”
“Wrong. You have at least one more night to prove her wrong. We’re snowed in, but clearly the two of you were too wrapped up in each other to realize just how bad the storm really was.” she snapped before flipping her hair and going back into her room. I knew her attitude with me was more towards the fact that we’d probably woke her, rather than disapproving of us. We’d never really learned how to be quiet with each other, but her words were ringing in my ears.
I had another night to prove them both wrong…
...and somehow I’d still ruin it.
I’d continue ruining it until they knew the truth.