I sighed as I sat my phone down attempting to finish getting ready for tonight. It was pointless to keep dialing his number, but I just kept doing it ending in yet another unanswered phone call. It’s been months since it happened and I’m still trying. I can’t really comprehend a reason as to why I am, I just know that I am. I sighed before taking a large gulp from my glass, the burn ruining the lump that had began to form reminding me that I wasn’t as over things as I liked to believe. Remembering hurt and I didn’t want to cry again. I refuse to keep crying over him or what happened. I don’t care how much I miss him, I won’t do it. Not this time. I shouldn’t even be missing him. Still I had to know. The way we ended was too up in the air for me. I still had questions I needed answers.
Did he really not care about me anymore? Did he honestly believe those lies he’d been told? Why would he even give them a second thought? Did he not know me as well as I thought he did? Did he not trust me? How could he not trust me? How could he believe her over me? Why would he believe her over me? Was our entire relationship based on lies if he could just leave, and so easily at that? I don’t get it. Was it the lie or was it how she said it that made him believe her? Did he believe her because I once called her a friend and he was fooled into thinking that she knew me better than she actually did? Like I said I needed answers. I would always need them.
It would always be at the back of my mind. It was just too much for me not to think about it. All of this was really happening because of some fucking lies from someone who didn’t matter anymore. She couldn’t help ruining everything, it was just who she was. I really needed to get over this already, it wasn’t good to hold onto a grudge. Shaking away the unwanted thoughts I finished off what was left in my glass with one large gulp. Picking my phone back up I began texting one of the few people left that I still trusted. My best-friend, Armin.
Drea: First off, I look sexy as shit right now.
Drea: Also, is it a bad thing that I’m letting her believe we’re still friends? I’ve been thinking and maybe holding this grudge against isn’t too good of an idea.
Armin: You already know what I think and how I feel about it Dre. The bitch deserves it and then some. Don’t sike yourself out feeling guilty over taking karma into your own hands. Now what I can’t believe is that she’s still stupid enough to believe that you’d just forgive her...and so easily at that! She knows you know what she told him.
Armin: Nevermind I can. She really is stupid enough to believe that she’s always one step ahead. She thinks you’re weak and will always forgive her. You have to show her that isn’t true and that you aren’t as weak as she thinks.
I bursted into laughter before quickly replying back to him after winging my eyeliner near to perfection.
Drea: Weak? Seriously? She really is a dumbass Armin. We’ve known that since high school, but I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. I’m going to try to be a little bit patient with this one. Emphasis on try. I need her to truly regret ever crossing me or hurting you. Don’t want her threatening to commit suicide again. Even though that was some weird ploy just for some attention. Like who does that?
Armin: Well fuck her and have fun.
As always Armin helped to rekindle my anger once the guilt began to set in. He helped to remind me that this was just her comeuppance and not just pettiness on my part. Now that I was feeling a little bit better after talking to him, I understood why he didn’t want to go out with us tonight. She’d ruined their relationship also with her lies. All she ever did was lie and then try to play victim when she got caught. Not this time though. She always gets always with it consequence free and I wasn’t going to let it happen again. In the end if I was going to force myself to be around her, even if it was just for a couple of hours, I was going to need a whole lot more to drink.
I purposely took longer than necessary to get ready already knowing that it would piss her off. For as long as I’ve known her she’s been a nut about time control, and it bothers the hell out her when we leave later that we said. It was a small button to push, but still fun nevertheless. I did everything I could think of to keep her outside waiting in the cold and hoping she wouldn’t just used the spare key I repeatedly forgot to get back from her. I wasn’t willingly going to let that kind of filth in my apartment anymore. I was at a point where she couldn’t even earn the right to enter my apartment back. I barely wanted her in my building. I even changed my clothes several times just to spite her. I ended up deciding on a dark blue spaghetti strap dress that stopped just above mid-thigh and hugged all of my curves a little too tight; and paired it with some black thigh high, lace-up heeled boots. I was only a few centimeters passed five foot six, but I had long legs that I loved to show off despite Chicago’s weather. My lipstick and eyeshadow was black matching the thin jacket I would be wearing over my dress to pair with the boots. I took a final look in the mirror and smiled. I did look sexy. After taking a few pictures and posting them online, I finally made my way to her car.
Regardless of what she took from me, she would never look better than me. It was a fact that we both knew. It had to be part of the reason she clung to me the way she did. Any attention I denied would automatically deflect to her and she loved it.
Regardless, I knew that I wouldn’t have any fun with her tonight and it was my mission to make sure that she didn’t have any either. She deserves whatever the night brings. Whether it came about while I was drunk or sober, I would mean it all and she’d know it.
I sighed as I lifted the shot glass to my lips and drained what was left in it. The familiar burn of the vodka as it slid down my throat only reminding me that I still wasn’t drunk enough. Clearly pregaming no longer had its effect on me. If I could still feel the burn then I definitely needed more shots. I wanted to be so drunk that I felt like I was numb to everything around me. I don’t know how long we’ve been here and I’ve lost count of how drinks I’ve had, but I had to keep them coming. I knew that she was getting fed up with me, but I also know that she won’t try to push it. Even though she knows she’s still on thin ice, and is acting accordingly to that fact, I need to get her to snap. I need her to break the ice and try to push my buttons.
“Andy you really should slow down.” came a concerned voice from on side of me. I turned around only to be met with the eyes of my former best-friend Alicia; and the cause of my real best-friend’s broken heart. Long blonde hair framed her heart shaped face as it traveled down her olive skin to her back. Her big blue eyes stared at me concern filling them. I basically hated her now.
“Don’t call me that you bitch.” I spat at her with a glare my words slurring slightly. I didn’t care anymore. There was a void opening up within me hearing her call me a nickname that hadn’t been used since he left. I want nothing more than to fill it with alcohol until it closed up again, but talking to her was stopping that. She was the cause of me feeling like this and she knew it. Still this time I wouldn’t go back. I wouldn’t call anymore from this point on. This time I wasn’t going to slip. I would stand strong. I’d do it drunk, but I’d still be strong.
“I’m sorry Drea, okay? Now can we go?” she snapped back annoyed with me, my drinking and my behavior. I gave her a cocky smirk. Fake ass apologies meant nothing to me anymore. I knew too well to fall for her bullshit again. I was seeing straight through her now that the glasses were clear. She wasn’t worthy of ever being forgiven for what she did. She wasn’t worthy of being in my presence.
“I said I’m not ready yet Alicia. Just one more drink.” I slurred and that did it. I can see it on her face that she’s going to explode any second. I was pushing all the right buttons. Who would have thought that a simple nickname would start it?
“No! You’ve had enough!” she yelled her face turning red as I full on laughed at her. This bitch that was no bigger than a fucking elf really thought she scared me.
“Excuse me but I am a grown ass woman and if I want another fucking drink then I’ll have one.”
“Drea the only drink you need right now is some fucking water. This is getting ridiculous and I don’t think I can continue doing it.” she cried as I rolled my eyes. I didn’t want to hear this. I didn’t want to hear her whining. I wanted her to get mad. I couldn’t deal with her playing victim. Not tonight and especially not when I had a nice little buzz going. I wanted to irritate her, but I could feel it deep in my stomach it was going to go a step further.
“Alicia please.” I whined quickly throwing back the shot the moment it was placed in front of me. “Just let me drink in peace, alright?” I felt like I was begging her at this point to just leave it alone, but I knew her too well. She won’t. She will keep pushing as if she was done wrong and I don’t have the energy to withhold my tongue. This night was going exactly as I wanted, but the guilt was starting to eat at me. I need to stop it before it gets to far.
“No. It’s about time that you got over this little thing that you’re going through. It’s getting ridiculous. It’s been months Drea. It’s time to move on already.” she sighed, placing her hand on my shoulder. Now I’m pissed. This ‘little thing’ she’s talking about is because of her and I can deal with it however I deem fit. Regardless of how ridiculous she thought it was and just like that the filter was off.
“Look, just because you move on by opening your legs to whomever is blind enough to pay you a damn compliment doesn’t mean I have to be a whore too. Sadly, we all aren’t so easy like you are. So like I said, I’m having another fucking drink. Don’t like it; get the fuck on.” I can hear the shock and hurt in her gasp, but I don’t care anymore. Not even a little bit. I just wanted a few more drinks. I needed the liquor until any and all memories of him become nothing more than barely a haze. This wasn’t the plan, but it’s turning out better than I expected. I really won’t have to deal with her anymore after this. I won’t have to deal with any of this anymore.
“Don’t come crying to me when you’re stupid enough to do it again and run back to him.” she spat glaring at me. I smiled lifting yet another shot in front of her and tossing it back.
“I never do Alicia, I never do. Crying is for prissy little bitches like you.” I knew I was probably going a little too far now and being a bit harsh, but I couldn’t help it. Her voice was starting to sound like nails on a chalkboard and I just wanted her gone already. It was confirmed as she brought her little hand across my face emanating a loud smack that made the bar go quiet. I balled my hands into fists at my sides, digging my nails into my palm to keep my calm.
“You are a horrible person to everyone, but the one that fucking deserves it. Keep it up and you’ll be lonelier than ever.” It took everything I had not to send her little ass flying across the bar with one punch. To make matters worse she doesn’t think she deserves my anger. She loves to play innocent even though she causes the most problems.
“Maybe that’s how I want it.” I snarled at her the left side of my face still stinging. “And keep your fucking hands to yourself or else.”
“Don’t threaten me Andrea.” she spat.
“As you know Alicia, I don’t make threats, I make promises. Try me.” she stumbled backwards as I glared at her before rolling my eyes as I sat back down and ignored her. If it hadn’t registered in her head that I was seriously done with her by now I don’t know what to tell her. She looked like she wanted to hit me again, but she was trying to calculate the odds. She had a nice shape for her size. Barely passed five feet. A B-cup at most and ass that stood out because she was so small, but she was still under a hundred and ten pounds soaked. I knew that she couldn’t take me. She knew that she couldn’t take me. Everyone in this bar knew that she couldn’t take me. I smiled as she stomped away and turned back to the bartender.
“Give me another one!” I smiled the good buzz once again filling me. I did more than I thought I was going to do and I kind of enjoyed it. Tonight I needed to forget it all while irritating her, but there was one thing she had said that I just couldn’t get out of my head. In the end she was still right...
...I would end up alone.
The entire ride home I was giggling and asking unnecessary questions to the cab driver. I didn’t know if he was laughing with me, at me or completely fed up with my drunken behavior but he never asked me to shut up. I laughed and loudly told him bye as I finally arrived at home. The bar had definitely turned out to be more fun than I thought it would be. Especially once Alicia left. I even got to talk to my only female friend now, Samantha, on the phone. That was until the bartender practically forced me out of there around closing time after calling a cab for me. He looked familiar.
Still, I knew there was one person that would continuously indulge in my antics, hence one reason why I loved him so much. I squealed excitedly as I pulled out my phone to call him. I also knew he would want to know about what happened with Alicia. On top of that I have to tell him that the Sams say hi. Sitting on the couch I pause for a moment to think on whether or not I should call him. He may be sleep, but then again he could be up like I am. Shrugging my shoulders I decided to take my chances and dialed his number.
“Hello?” came his deep and raspy voice through the phone. Huh, so he really was asleep and I had awaken him. Oh well he was up now.
“Arrrrmiiinnn! Heeeeeyyy buuuudddy.” I giggled hearing his annoyed sigh coming through the phone. I didn’t mean to irritate him, but I’m drunk and alone and he’s the only friend I have here right now.
“Geez woman!” he growled. “You fucking drunk. Did you really call me at four in the morning for this bullshit?” I rolled my eyes as I laughed. I’d be happy when he realized that he didn’t scare me. I know he will never hurt me no matter how mad he gets. I’d still call him at four in the morning sober or drunk because I know he will always answer and it works vice versa. That I was our friendship. Besides I had lost count of how many times he had done the exact same thing to me.
“Oh hush. I spazzed out on Alicia and now I’m alone and yes I’m kind of drunk, but that’s not why I called you.”
“Then why did you call?” he asked, but it’s still a topic I’m not ready to talk about, at least not yet. Not even best-friends know all of each other’s secrets. Instead I opted to change the subject. I’d work hard to keep my mind off of things and I wanted to keep it that way.
“Want to come drink with me?” I asked in the most baby-est voice I could muster as I leaned my head back to relax. I was starting to feel like I couldn’t breathe again and the lump felt like it was forming twice it’s normal size. I still didn’t want to cry. I couldn’t.
“Seems like you’ve had enough for both of us already.” he judged a small laugh escaping him. I narrowed my eyes at the phone even though I knew fully well he couldn’t see me. Then an idea popped into my head. I knew I sounded desperate for some form of company, and maybe I was, but I couldn’t handle being alone right now. Tonight I just can’t. I wasn’t ready to talk about it. I just wanted and needed my best-friend.
“If you come I’ll have your favorite.” I lied a huge smile on my face as he went silent on the phone. I wanted to laugh because I knew I had him, but I didn’t want to ruin it just in case he was still debating with himself.
“Ugh! Fine. Fine. I’m on my way. Just let me get dressed.” he groaned and I could literally hear him getting up to stretch. This time I did laugh as I heard him mumble something under his breath.
“See you soon buddy. Love you!”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever.” he spat before hanging up on me.
“Dick.” I sighed shaking my head as I sat down the phone. This was the guy I was proud to call my best-friend? Something must be really wrong with me. I would always love and care for him, but he really can be a major asshole sometimes. Especially when he was in one of his moods. Which to an outsider looking in, would like it was something that was always happening, but for me I knew the difference.
It took him nearly fifteen to twenty minutes before he finally was ringing the bell with his own bottle in his hand. I smirked at him for two reasons. He knew me well and he was so tired he hadn’t used his spare key. I tried to hold back my laugh from the thought, but failed.
“Shut up I’m tired.” he frowned shrugging as he walked past me. We rode the elevator back up to my apartment in silence. “Besides I figured you lied so I brought my own.” he blurted randomly once we were inside the apartment before plopping down on the couch. I hadn’t specifically lied about having alcohol, I just didn’t have his favorite. “Let me guess, you couldn’t hold your tongue anymore and said some shit that made Alicia cry. Or did you just call me so you wouldn’t call him?” he asked as I looked down at my feet ashamed. Was I really so transparent that he could pinpoint my reasonings like that? Or did he really just know me that well?
“No need for a lecture Dre. I had to ask, but I know that topic is a no go for you. Besides,I don’t want to talk about Alicia ass either. We all have our sore spots. Just come and drink with me already. That’s why I’m here, right?” he said interrupting me. I rolled my eyes at him before smiling at him thankful that he’d dropped it.
“Thank you.” I said before grabbing the bottle from him and turning it up to my lips. The burn finally easing away the lump that was now starting to feel like a permanent resident in my throat.
“So, how is Alicia?” he asked a foreign look crossing his features. I smiled at him sadly knowing that he still loved her, but she had moved on. I felt bad for bringing him into my pity party. I hadn’t done it intentionally, but it was still happening. As much as I wanted to tell him what happened, the small voice told me it was better left unsaid.
“For tonight let’s just drink, okay? Talking about all of this still hurts to much.” I smiled trying to change the subject. He only sighed as he nodded his head in agreement his shoulders falling just a little bit, but still noticeable to me. Pouting I scooted closer to him and laid my head on his shoulder before passing the bottle back to him. Poor Armin. He was my best-friend and, despite the reasoning, I was still hanging out with the girl that had broken his heart. Unfortunately she was a friend also, and I’m not going to lie; I hated what she did to him. Armin truly could be a dick from time to time, but it was with no doubt that he cared about her and he made it a point to try and prove it while she just gave up. I knew he was hurting. He may not admit any time soon, but she held his heart in her hands.
“To drinking the pain away!” he cheered with a half-hearted smile before I could say anything else to him. I smiled back at him as I clinked my imaginary glass against his.
“To drinking the pain away.” I whispered. For the past few months our night had ended just like this. Both of us getting drunk until we’d eventually pass out and go to sleep. It won’t change until one of us finally moves on from them, but I don’t see that happening any time soon either.
I was awaken out of my sleep with my head pounding. I don’t remember falling asleep and I barely remember finishing off that last bottle, but I know it’ll come back to me. It always does, even when I’m not expecting it. There’s a pounding sound vibrating within my ears that I’m sure is my brain trying to escape and there’s too much light in this room. My head feels entirely too heavy to move an inch let alone a centimeter. What the hell did we do last night? My entire living room is trash and my head pounds more knowing I will have to clean it. Why was I still on the couch instead of in my bed? Usually I made it back to my room.
I peeked open one eye only to see Armin lying face down into the carpet his with ass sticking straight up in the air. The bottle is still clutched in his right hand, but it’s empty. If I could move to grab my phone I would have taken a picture of him. Instead I just rolled on my side and attempted to go back to sleep. The aching pounding growing relentless.
“Andrea open up!” came a screeching voice from the other side of the door as the pounding continued. It was relieving to know that the pounding wasn’t just in my head.
“Ugh!” I groaned trying to bury myself deeper into the couch and away from that noise. Moving hurts and I want to kill whoever that is. Who the fuck is that rude so early in the morning?
“Whoever that is I will kill them with my bare hands and not care one bit.” growled Armin turning on his back and covering his ears.
“Be my guest and please do it now.” I whined back. Both of us laid there moving until the pounding stopped and let out simultaneous sighs of relief. Then I heard the keys and it all began coming back to me. Oh no. No no no no no. Clearly she misunderstood me last night. Why else would she be here?
“You know Drea you can hate me all you want, but-oh. Hey Armin.”
I cringed into myself feeling the awkward tension rapidly feeling the room. Alicia was shuffling from foot to foot so I know that she was feeling it too. Armin’s drunken words filled my ears and I know for sure his compassionate drunken words are long forgotten now that she’s here. She looked like she was waiting for him to acknowledge her back, but we both knew that wouldn’t happen. I found myself staring at Armin as he tries to convey a message to me with his eyes. I understand it almost immediately as I nodded. Simply put in nicer words he wants me to get rid of her...now.
“I’m going to take a shower, my stuff still back there?” he asked standing and taking off his shirt. I rolled my eyes as he does so. He can be so obvious sometimes.
“Second shelf in the hall closet Armin.” I laughed. This isn’t unusual per say. We’ve been drinking together a lot these past few months and generally just spend a lot of time together, seeing as we’ve been best-friends since high school. Lately we’ve gotten into the habit of leaving clothing at each other’s houses from time to time. It was one of the many things he didn’t like.
“Thanks.” are the last words he toss over his shoulders as he head back. I laughed seeing Alicia’s eyes following his every move. I don’t feel for her, but I also don’t blame her for looking. Armin is a very attractive looking guy. Gorgeous, blemish free brown skin. Mysterious brown eyes. Rock hard abs and more muscles than you would expect a skinny guy to have. Alicia had always been into the black guys and more often than not she told me her favorite part about it, but with Armin things were different. It was more than just sex for her, but she ruined it and now she has to deal with it.
“What the hell is he doing here Andrea?” she snaps the minute we hear the bathroom door close. I can see Armin peeking around the corner, but I don’t say anything.
“Um...because this is my apartment and he’s my best-friend.”
“This isn’t fair to me.” she spats and for a minute I’m legit shocked. Armin’s eyes are wide as if he knows I’m already close to losing the little bit of patience that I have so early and he’s excitedly waiting for it to happen. So it’s okay to hang with her despite how he may feel, but it’s not okay to hang with him?
“Again, he is my best-friend.” I say through clenched teeth trying desperately to keep my emotions in check. I’m tired and hungover and I just really don’t feel like dealing with her victimizing herself.
“Why do you insist on hating me?” she blurts and I can hear the laugh coming from me before I feel it. Talk about a golden question.
“I don’t hate you Alicia.” I started once I calmed down enough and I can already see the hope in her eyes. “I just don’t particularly like you from time to time. It’s completely normal.”
“Yes because it’s normal for you to hate everyone but Armin.” she snapped crossing her arms over her chest, popping her hip out and rolling her eyes all at once. I cocked an eyebrow at her. Was this her way of being intimidating? Her try at looking menacing?
“Oh no. That dick gets on my nerves also. He’s just more tolerable than you and doesn’t want to talk about ever minor fucking thing. Wait, he’s more tolerable than you because he doesn’t want to talk. We just drink and have fun.” I smiled innocently at her as she rolled her eyes at me again. You’d think she’s learned by now when to let go, but nope. She just keeps pushing buttons and right now she’s aiming at the big red one that started all of this.
“Are you two fucking each other?” she asks and the both of us begin some kind of weird cough/laugh kind of thing. I’m still too drunk for this. Did she really just ask me that? Did those words really just come out of her mouth? She’s supposed to know us better than anyone else and yet she’s still fucking stupid. She couldn’t help leaping at the big red button with ‘DO NOT PUSH’ written on it. Before I could reply by cursing her out Armin comes back into the room in nothing but a pair of form fitting black briefs. I have no idea when he got naked, I can definitely see why she asked that now. Weaponry like that can definitely make a girl act crazy.
“If we were that’s none of your fucking business anymore. You left me remember.” he spats at her nothing but hatred in his eyes. I, however, can’t seem to take my eyes off his delicious v-line. Damn Armin. “Hey, towels?” he asks breaking me out of my trance his voice noticeably softer now that he’s addressing me. That has to sting a bit.
“Bathroom closet love. It’s still some mens product in there if you want to use some. Sorry, but it’s only the lavender scented ones.” I say.
“It’s okay. I love the smell of lavender anyways. It just may be my favorite.” Now I’m full on laughing. He plays entirely too fucking much and he knows exactly what he’s doing. Lavender was my signature scent so when I found some for men I bought it for him. Alicia always smelled like strawberries. He’s a dick. I could see tears forming in her eyes as once again we heard the door close. This time though, I think he actually went in there.
“Gus wouldn’t like this as much as I don’t.” she says trying to hurt me. Just from the sound of his name my heart speeds up and the pain flows through my veins. I swallow down the choked sob trying to force its way out and put on a blank face.
“Well obviously I don’t give a fuck what either of you think. We aren’t your concern anymore. Neither of us. Now if you don’t mind,” I paused to take off my shirt letting her eyes take in my caramel colored skin and flat stomach, but I know what she’s really staring at. My D-cup breasts, wide hips, thick thighs and juicy ass. We both know that Armin is a breast and ass man. The bigger the better. “I have to take a shower. Leave the key.” I finish. She knows what I’m implying and fixes me with a glare so cold it makes me shiver. I laugh as she runs out the door after throwing the key at me, slamming it shut behind her. I really shouldn’t have fed into the rumors, but I wasn’t thinking and this was funnier. Shrugging I put my shirt back on and went to bang on the bathroom door.
“What?!” he yelled.
“Hurry up ya dick! We have to get to work and I still need to shower.”
“I’ll be out in a minute.” he responded back and I can hear the amusement in his voice. Somehow he knows what happened and hopefully this time she gets it through her head how done we are with her and her lies. She wasn’t worth the stress she caused.