Music in Her Heart
Do you ever have that feeling, where you’ll never be good enough for anyone? Where everything you do, say, and touch, is all trash? I feel like this all the time. Every time I try to do something right, something else is always wrong. This may sound crazy to you, or you may not even understand, but my father is the reason why I have this feeling.
My father is one of the richest men in Hollywood, and has always wanted me to take over Miller Croporations, but that’s not me. I have always had a love for music, and anything to do with music, not ruling a business. That’s why I started a band called, “Into The Storm.”
The band consists of my best friend Alice, the bassist, my boyfriend Andy, the lead guitarist, Alice’s sister Angie, the drumnist, and my other best friend Roselyn, who’s the backup vocals, and also plays the tambourine. Then there’s me, Natalya Miller, lead vocals, and keyboardist. We’ve been a band for a year now, and my dad has never bothered or cared enough to make it to even one of our shows. My mom’s death is the reason he doesn’t.
Before her death, she always played on he piano, while I’d sing along. My father would then record it, and brag to all his friends on Facebook. Every Sunday, that was our favorite thing to do, until my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 leukemia. After her diagnoses, we started to take care of her, and go out to the park ever Sunday.
My mom lived through leukemia for almost a year, which was longer than doctors thought, until she died. My father never was the same after her death. I think he’s still the denial stage, like he has been for almost 7 years. He doesn’t agree with my music, because every time I play, it reminds him of our Sundays with mom, and I think he’s always wanted to have his daughter rule his business.
My dad can’t stop asking me to take over Miller Corporations. He never thought I’d be in the music industry for this long. He always thought it would be a stage, but it isn’t, it never was going to be just a stage. My father doesn’t understand, that music is my heart, it’s imbedded in my soul, and I can’t live without it. If only, if only I could make him understand.
“Father I’m home!” I yelled, as I entered her home.
“Hello Natalya, how was work?” Said Mr. Miller, while reading a newspaper on his favorite chair.
“Band practice, you mean? It went great! We’re practicing for our gig at the Chicago Preforming Arts Center! I hope you could come.....” I hoped.
“I can’t Natalya, I have meetings with a new client this weekend.”
As my father made the same excuse he did every other time, I went up to my room, and said, “You seem to always have time for clients, but never have the time for your own daughter.”
This was the same routine every month. The band has one special concert every year, and I’ll always ask, but the answer will always be the same excuse, clients, meetings, business trips, paperwork, etc. I’ve gotten so use to it by now, why should I keep trying?