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Miscalculations

By Haro_online All Rights Reserved ©

Romance / Drama

Chapter 1

After:

"No!!!" The girl shouted as she watched the love of her life fall off the cliff. "No..." She sobbed, sliding down until she was on her knees and staring into space. She was worn out, tired, dirty, but none of that mattered right now. All that mattered in her life was him, and he's gone now. 

"Alicia!" Someone shouted from out in the distance. The girl, Alicia, turned half-heartedly to attempt to find whoever called her name. There, she saw Brian running towards her. He was the brother of the love of her life, a brother to her as well. He stopped in front of her when he saw the ragged state of Alicia, the evident tear tracks running down her face. 

"No, no, no. NO!" He shouted in disbelief in the end when he looked around and noticed that his brother was not there. "NO! This wasn't supposed to happen! You two should have been perfectly fine and smiling when I came for you two!" 

Alicia interjected. "But that didn't happen! He's gone and I'm obviously not smiling! You miscalculated!" 

"Do you think I wanted to have miscalculated?! HE WAS MY BROTHER!" Brian shouted back to Alicia. 

"Maybe you wanted to get rid of him! HE WAS ALWAYS BETTER THAN YOU! YOU WERE ALWAYS IN HIS SHADOW!" Alicia yells at Brian, caught up in the moment. 

"MAYBE I DID! SO WHAT?!" Brian yelled at Alicia. "He got everything! He got the girl, the praise, everything. I didn't get the girl, I got compared to every single day of my life. He was Golden Boy, I was the black sheep!" 

"What do you mean, he got the girl?" Alicia asks incredulously. 

"I have always loved you, Alicia. Even before he did." 


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1. Chapter 1
Further Recommendations

Alex Reltin: This is a great story! I love how well you go into detail and emotions of Capri, and Mel. You have amazing dialogue and overall it's just a thrill to read!The only critique I could find is that some of the paragraphs should be separated. For example:-"If Nia would have just let me take the car an...

Flik: Hi! ^.^ huge fan of yours on ff.net! When I saw the note about this contest on The Way We Smile, I couldn't help but rush over here, create an account, and vote! XD Seriously love this story and would recommend it to anyone! :D best FT fanfiction out there. Amazing story, amazing concept that wa...

RodRaglin: Sounds like an interesting story, LesAnne.Here are some things you might want to consider when you revise this draft."Show don't tell." You've probably hear this before and wondered what's the difference? Well, the difference is as a writer you're telling your reader what's happening rather than ...

CurlyRed: I read this entire book in just under 4 hours I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN! i found myself emotionally attached to the characters and making personal connections that i had never experienced before while reading a book! I was constantly wanting to read more, every chapter left me on a cliff hanger tha...

Kasey Pinney: This book had me from the beginning. I never came across a part I didn't want to read or that didn't entertain me. The characters are well developed and the internal conversations fit the book well.

sunshinebennybear: First, I would like to address the elephant in the room. The author forgets her own character's names. She mixed up Liam for Jace, Harri for Maiya, and Freya for Clary. I love The Mortal Instruments as much as the next fangirl, but I find myself unforgiving about this. Throughout the story there ...

latashashetters: Absolutely loved this book!! Would've loved to find out what actually happened to Andreas and rhi but all in all I give this a 10. It's a real attention grabber and keeps you on the edge of your seat most of the time! I'm looking for to a sequel to this book!! I really to find out what rhi choose...

Mourn8220House: When first reading "Avarice," I thought it would be another fairytale but I was taken back the author's approach and choice of ending. There is little to be said for the story and overall plot besides the sudden twists and speculation, other than that I do not want to ruin a fantastic tale, you m...

Alex Rushmer: This was not what I expected, but I enjoyed it a lot Malfoy was always one of the characters that I liked a lot, so I like that a lot of this happens between him and Colette. I read the first couple chapters, and I enjoyed your writing style and am excited to see where you take this story. My com...

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