I have never given much thought of how I would die or when. But when death knocks at your door you have to think about your life decisions. And this time it was time for me to think about my life as a whole. I have scars, but I have learned to embrace them.
"Are you crazy?"a voice asks and I recognize it as Andrews.
"I tried to tell her but I couldn't do it"another voice says, and this time it's Tay.
"And you thought it was better to infect her with the damn disease "Andrew asks and to say, I was confused would be an understatement. I have no clue of what they are talking about.
"If I told her she wouldn't have ran away. I know her, she prefers to forget about her problems then deal with them."Tay says.
"You could have made her understand. I have seen the way she looks at you, she loves you."Andrew says.
"I couldn't take any chances, I had to do it. I wanted her to be connected to me some way if we ever parted ways"Tay says and I'm still trying to figure out what they are talking about.
"You do know that this will completely destroy her right?"Andrew asks.
"I know I fucked up, but she is like a moth to a flame, and she doesn't even know it. She has herself tattooed on my damn skin and no matter what I do I see her everywhere. I love her and I did what I thought was best at the moment"Tay says and my heart feels like it's going to pop out of my chest at the declaration of his love to me.
"So what now, you are going to make her take the pills without telling her what they are for?"Andrew asks and my mind races.
What pills? What disease.
"I don't know. I just know she will hate me for the rest of her life"Tay says and I wonder what could make me hate for rest of my life.
"Yah, you should have thought about that when you had unprotected sex with her"Andrew says.
"There's no need for you to lecture me every second of our conversation "Tay spits and I take one more step but what came out of Andrew's mouth seemed to make time go slower.
"Yah I know. I just wish you told her you have HIV before you slept with her instead of infecting because you want her to be connected to you forever" time seemed to go even slower like I'm in a sort of a movie or something. The glass slipping out of my hand and hitting the floor.
I place my hands on the wall to balance myself from falling.
They both rush to me but I raise my hand in the air.
"Stop"I shout. Tears are falling down my cheeks already. I have never felt so betrayed in my entire life.
"How could you?"I ask, looking at Tay.
"Princess...."I cut him off.
"Don't you dare call me that. I can't believe you. How could you do this to me? "I yell and walk into the kitchen. I tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear and grip the edge of the kitchen island.
"I can explain. I was going to tell you"he says and try to get close to me but one glare sends him back one foot away.
"Is it true "I ask sobbing.
"Yea. I was born with HIV. Both Nate and I. I don't know what happened with Andrew, but he doesn't have it. My mother was also born with it."He says softly and I gasp.
"Oh god. So, now I have it too ?"I ask the obvious.
"Yeah, we had unprotected sex yesterday "he says and I feel like I'm running out of air. My chest is closing up on me.
"But I saw you drinking alcohol "I say hoping that maybe this is a dream, and I will wake up soon.
"I have a limit of how much alcohol I should consume"he says and I shut my eyes close.
"I trusted you, believed in us"I say and turn my head to look at him.
"I know . I know what I did to you is unforgivable, but I love you"he says and I laugh.
"You don't know a thing about love. You are disgusting. You infected me because you wanted me to be connected to you forever? Who does that?"I ask and run my hand through my hair.
"I'm sorr..."I don't know what has gotten into me but a glass is flying into Tay's direction, but he ducks and it hit a wall.
"Don't you dare apologize, you are nothing but a liar"I yell and drop my body to the floor.
He slids to the floor with me and try to touch me again, and I let him."why did you do this to me huh? Why?why?"I ask hitting his chest, and he lets me.
"I trusted you"I say through my sobs. The pain I'm feeling right now is worse than the pain I ever felt in my entire life.
"I'm sorry"he is now crying.
"You can save your apologizes. I don't want to hear it."I say and sob even more. I can't believe he marked me instead of telling me the truth.
It's feels my life has come to an end. I let my guard down, and this happens. I'm surviver but I don't know if I can survive this. This is one thing I never thought I would come across in my entire life.
"What about...what about the others?"I ask.
"I used protection, and they are fine"he says and I hiccup. My head hurts from all the crying, and I'm not done yet.
"I have to get out of here"I say and stand up.
"You have no say in this. You lost every right you had the minute you decided to mark me as territory. "I spit and run up the stairs to our room.
I grab my clothes, everything and dump in the suitcase. Tay takes out some of my clothes when I make my way to the bathroom to grab my toiletries.
"Will you stop?"I shout.
"Please don't go"he begs and kneel on the floor holding my legs.
"Let go"I say and try to get out of his grip.
"I love you please we can work this out. I need you"he begs again, and his voice cracks at the end.
"I'm taking my life back tonight, and there's nothing you can say that could change my mind. Goodbye, Tay"I say and zip my suitcase and walk out the door.
I spot Tay car keys on the kitchen island, and I grab them. I hear footsteps as I walk to the front door.
"Olivia wait" I ignore him and walk out.
I put the bag in the boot and walk to the driver's seat. He grabs the door before I can close it.
"I know I fucked things up but I love you. You have to believe it. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me"he says, his eyes are puffy.
"You are the worst and good thing that has ever happened to me. I guess you came with consequences "I say softly this time.
"You will come back right?"he asks,his chest going up and down.
"Goodbye Tay"I say and close the door.
"Wait..take this"he says holding a small bottle of pills.
"Drink them after your lunch every day"he says and I question myself why I didn't see him taking any pills before.
I grab them and roar the car to life. I watch him on the small mirror as I drive away from the house.His hands are in his pockets and staring at the moving car.It's raining but not heavily. The wind hitting myself calms me down a little but the storm inside me is growing by the minute. My parent's house is out of the question.
I drive to the only place, I know it doesn't change or betrays you. If its winter it's winter. My Uncle Shawn's farm house.