It’s been a week since the rape. Since, I’ve left Texas. I haven’t had any problems health-wise. But, I’m not going to take that chance. I’ve waited long enough. The thought of having a disease or having more than one from my father makes me sick. I haven’t had time to cry and think about my trauma or at least cope.
I feel like the worst is yet to come. Like I’m in the calm before the storm. But, I’m afraid to let myself go. I don’t want to spiral out of control and no one will catch me. I know the girls will be there for me. Taira and Tiles even. But, is that support enough. It’s been two days since I bumped into Will and he’s still hasn’t gotten out of my head. He's annoying, but unique presence is still pressed on my mind. Making me wonder where he is now. Would he accept me if we crossed paths again?
Thoughts like this make going to the hospital more dreadful. I mean. What would the doctors think? That’s my main worry. I don’t even know If I should say that my dad raped me and provide them with the details. I’m not even sure If I’m ready to talk about it. It’s taking most of my courage to even be outside of the hospital right now.
The Fact that Los Angelos Pracainc Hospital is huge doesn’t help at all. I just hope they can help me.
Getting out of the car and Locking it was a major step. But walking in is a whole other story. I just feel like getting back into the car and driving away. But, that would do me no good. So, standing in the middle of the parking lot wearing a pair of faded blue jeans and a white tee shirt is better than nothing.
Gathering Up all my courage I finally walk through the doors.