Sean and I were extremely busy with all the wedding planning. His father insisted that we marry before the end of the following month so things were extremely hectic. However, thankfully tomorrow was the wedding and apparently Sean had something planned for our honeymoon, and he refuses to tell me any details, stating that it is a surprise. I was nervous for the wedding but I was also so so ready to become Sean's wife.
Between the wedding planning and finishing the hotel, I've been stressed to the max. Sean has mentioned that I should take a break and get a massage to get mentally prepared for the wedding, but there was just way to much to be done. On the other hand, the hotel looks fabulous. Sean loved every detail, even the ones I didn't really clear with him. He gave me the okay to many things but certain aspects of it, I told him he would just have to trust me. Which he did, and he was happy with the finished product. The hotel had a classy restaurant with a bar on one side to the left once you walked in, to the right there was the elevators to take you up to the rooms and there was also a hall that leads to a pool and a little spa area. The rest of the hotel was done up in reds, blacks, and whites. I was in love with it and not even just because I did it.
Gemma and Ruby, both traveled to stay with Liam and I until my wedding. They were my bridesmaids after all with Liam being my Man of honor. I mean he was my bestest friend. I haven't met many of Sean's friends yet but I'm sure that I will at the wedding and after when we had more time. Sean and I have been doing fabulous together. Learning to love and care for one another and work together in perfect harmony. We have had our minor setbacks and arguments, especially with the wedding planning but with the end in sight, I knew that it would all be worth it.
Something hasn’t really been sitting right with me the past week, my stomach has been churning and I have been vomiting. I went to the doctor and they said it was most likely due to all the stress that I have been under lately, but they took some blood just in case. Which just made Sean even more adamant about me relaxing more and letting him hire a wedding planner. I still refused, demanding and dertermined to do it myself. I mean sure I originally agreed to this marriage for the wrong reasons in the beginning but I know we will last. I can feel it in my bones. I’ve finally accepted and realized that I am completely, 100% in love with Sean. So damn deeply in love with him and I’m a fool to not realize it sooner. I’ve not told him yet, but I planned to in my wedding vowels tomorrow.
I think it’s funny looking back at the story of Sean and I, and how we were nothing but a simple lay in high school, and then once we met back up history repeated itself. Although this time we were both seeing other people, even if not exclusively or willingly in Sean’s case. But what started as just sex, ended up with us finding each other. And I don’t mean just ‘Hey, there you are!’ I mean we found each other. We found what we were looking for in a partner in each other. We both picked up the pieces of each other and put them back where they are suppose to be. I wouldn’t change a thing. Which is silly to say, but looking back now, I would go through a hundred heartbreaks just as long as at the end of it all, I would be with Sean.
Even though I was so scared, so reluctant to love again, if I didn’t try, my life wouldn’t be what it is today. I know some girls go through breakup after breakup, and it does slowly crush a persons soul, trying to be right for all the wrong people. Putting yourself out there time and time again only to receive nothing but misery. It’s tiring. Truly mentally and physically exausting. But the thing is, if you choose to give up, to stop trying, you will never know who is willing to match that same energy that you put into a relationship. You will never find who is truly meant for you if you just stop trying.
Just like I would have never gave Sean a shot if I were to completely give up on love. Yes, I did for a while and granted the way I chose to mend what Mason broke, wasn’t the best. But I won’t apologize for how I chose to cope. I’ve found Sean now and that life of partying and sleeping around is behind me. I’m completely ready to start my life with Sean. To marry him and love him. To be happy.
Sean and I are not seeing each other again until I walk down the isle, that is one tradition I was insistent about not breaking. So I was just settling into bed alone after a tiring day of making sure all the last minute details were complete when my phone rang. It was late, but the ID showed my doctors number so worry etched itself into my brain. What if my lab work came back and something was wrong? Maybe it’s something simple like low blood sugar or low cholesterol, however, what if it’s something bad like cancer or diabetes? Shaking my head to get rid of those thoughts, I quickly answered.
“Hello? Dr. Prittz, is everything okay?” I heard her soft voice through the phone. “Hello Ava, I hope I didn’t wake you. I just knew you were getting married tomorrow and know you’ll be on your honeymoon and didn’t wanna bother you. So I wanted to call and tell you about your bloodwork now. Do you have a moment?” She questioned. I answered with a gentle yes and so she continued. “Okay dear, so it seems congratulations is in order, you are pregnant! You are about 10-12 weeks pregnant! I’m going to prescribe you prenatal vitamins to take everyday, and if you get nauseous eat some saltine crackers and drink some water. If it is still bad then I can send you in a prescription for something to help ease the morning sickness! Do you have any questions?”
My mind was blown. I’m pregnant? And 10-12 weeks along? How can this be? I had a period, granted it was super light, I just figured with all the stress it messed with my cycle! When her last question finally registered in my brain I choked out the only question I had. “H-how? I mean, I had a period l-last month!” The doctor questioned me back. “Was it light? Could have been spotting which is normal since it is still early, some people experience spotting when the egg finds a spot in the uterus to embed in. It is completely normal and isn’t anything to worry about.” She reassured me and after a few more jumbled sentences from me, we hung up.
I'm pregnant. Oh my gosh. I can't believe it. And 10 to 12 weeks along? No wonder I've been so moody lately, and tired. I mean for goodness sakes, I told the girls and Liam I didn't want a bachelorette party because I was so tired I just wanted to get some sleep. Im pregnant. I can't believe it. But 10-12 weeks? Who was I with 10-12 weeks ago? Pulling up my calendar on my phone I realized that I slept with both Sean and Evan around the same time. Oh gosh, who is the father of my baby? If it is Sean's, fabulous. But if it isn't, and it is Evans, I have to tell him right?
Flopping back on the bed, I groaned. What am I going to do?