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Dying for Change

Prayers that evening were said and meditated with such vigor Eduardo's certainty he is to the point where he is ready to give up the things he knows keep him from saying 'yes' totally to God. The certitude here was from reading the requests. More, Father Eduardo is desiring now a passion for dying to himself in anyway possible for the sake of God as he sees Him in those who are dying from the virus.
First, Father Eduardo assured the Lord he will say Mass the following morning. Eduardo did forget the date of the Feast but would not forget to say Mass.
Second, Father Eduardo would use the Internet to share in the Daily Sacrifice only and not to indulge in playing solitaire or chess with his computer nor even reading the grateful comments of his viewers.
Third, and most important, Father Eduardo made it a point to the Lord that he intends to fast from so much food when earlier Eduardo was planning on gratifying his belly with so much tomorrow. This was due to his having not hardly eaten the previous day of course spent so poorly under the toil of a severe head cold. Though his stomach grumbled right after he concentrated himself on making this promise to God truth, Eduardo did not care about even how much his body was not in league with this fasting.
As with any nights Father Eduardo makes his vows he must therefore be ever more mindful of his priestly vows. Poverty is called to mind if Eduardo is to fast from not all food but at least his aimed for binging. A thought came to Eduardo to shut off his computer for the night, another entered his mind to perhaps spend as much time tomorrow here in his room, his abode of prayer.
Eduardo looked around at how his room was painted a purer shade of white. It gave his mind a reflection on how he should maintain a pure heart. So it helped Eduardo as he slept to also keep the shades of his windows up at night so allow the moon and the stars to cast their reflections as God shines them in. All this Eduardo understood to be little endowments to assist him should he be asleep or not.
And Eduardo did sleep that night, a few pleasing five restful hours.
His dream came to him like a sequel, like a direct continuation of the dream from the other night; there again Eduardo wandered as a bodiless spirit in the dark with no hope of having anywhere to go now.
Eduardo is feeling the most immense despair expecting some light to appear and answer the call of his life-spanning devotion. He sees something or something(s) moving like a group or crowd a few hundred feet from him in the darkness.
Out of the great end-all darkness there walks many, many other spirits just like Eduardo. These are spirits of people Eduardo sees. Other people who have died and have left their bodies and like Eduardo are now left to wander aimlessly and hopelessly around in this darkness of no possible hope. Eduardo before had wondered if the experience here were a test, that God was merely placing his spirit through some trial by fear and was about to reward Eduardo for enduring such abandonment following his death.
Now, if Eduardo were seeing all these other spirits also wandering, and they sure must be innocent people, then this just might make this dark place to be Purgatory. Purgatory? Father Eduardo thinks on how and why the Lord had sent him here. Also, why were so many of these poor people were sent here after probably having Rosaries, Divine Chaplets, and entire Funeral Vigils said for the repose of their souls?
Eduardo felt the worst panging remorse for having questioned God so. He felt this remorse as his heavy conscience accused him of blasphemy just in the last few foggy moments of the despairing dream. Eduardo thought before his brain left the delta wave state that it might in fact be...
Eduardo had five hours of sleep. Without a digital or dial clock near his bed, Eduardo could only guess the time to be about four-thirty or five in the morning. Eduardo wakes to see the light of dawn create box-like and odd geometric shapes on the white pure walls of his room. Never before has Eduardo felt so happy to be back where he last remembered he was at. He was ready and eager to perform the Daily Sacrifice.
This of course meant showering and with a sense or intention to purify himself of all dust, dirt, and impurity be it material or mental or spiritual. Eduardo believed himself to be ritually impure even 'mortally' impure due to the original sin he was under and worse, he knew in this same belief that invisible and unclean entities had and will continue to prowl over his bed while he sleeps. These the invisible uncleanlies also leave their prints and marks everywhere they step in Eduardo's holy apartment. Father Eduardo makes certain all of any substances unfit for his holding the Body, the Blood, the Soul, and the Divinity of Our Lord are washed and cleansed away now.
The vestments Eduardo folds on and buttons are for renewing and reinforcing his consecrated temple, his body and being to the service and office of a holy priest to God the Father. Eduardo not just feels but is realizing how he rightfully belongs to God in a manner that is good, perfect, and pleasing as much to Eduardo and his esteem as it almost is pleasing to God. Eduardo only looks at himself in his long mirror to make sure his collar and the rest of his vestments are on straight.
Mass begins and proceeds that morning with Father Eduardo feeling so much better as compared to yesterday morning. There is far less inconvenience from a head cold and a head cold's symptoms so the First and Second Readings and the Reading from the Gospel are read smoothly by Eduardo. In fact, this whole Mass which Eduardo offers during his sermon for all the poor souls who are falling everywhere to the virus, works beautifully that Eduardo would have thought this Mass as the best he has ever presided over. Only thing is Eduardo had been so eager and hurried to say this Mass he had totally forgotten to record the Mass with his camera. Eduardo knew enough not to blame the mishap on God, or on Satan, or any reason other than it was his mistake. But later, Eduardo thought that since this Mass had worked so well maybe it was like God letting Eduardo keep the Mass as his own Mass to remember.
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