Of Dreams And Questions
The matter of the disturbing dreams Eduardo had been suffering at night during his few allotments of sleep was finally organized by Eduardo when he wrote the more significant 'imagery' in the dreams down on a notebook:
-The setting of the dream was neither Heaven, Purgatory, nor Hell.
-The setting was for sure some place after death.
-I was not the only one lost in this setting.
-The setting was all darkness.
A very small step though a beginning one and a most important one. This allowed for Father Eduardo to think of one of two things: a. ) make an appointment with his spiritual advisor who is a Bishop which would demand a long period of waiting or b.) offer the dreams up to God and ask the Lord to give an answer or answers.
Father Eduardo liked the second idea b.) better but it was strange how upon deciding this that a certain clarifying notion hit him: were the 'non-affirming elements' to his dream symptoms of something deep within Eduardo, a lingering system of doubtfulness, a streak of pragmatism? Eduardo knew that it was not uncommon for men of God to question their own faith. Did not the great prophet of power Elijah not do that?
It was late at night. Almost midnight. Eduardo had written down his 'questions' or 'list of indicators' in his notebook and the simple idea to just pray to God for wisdom. Upon praying, Father Eduardo used contemplative prayer, and not words. He at least began his seeking this way. This was not enough though.
Eduardo proceeded next to apply his Holy Rosary and seek the graces of the Blessed Mother and all the Angels and Saints who love her and who testify on her behalf. More, Eduardo asked the Lord, His Lord, the Lord over all mankind Jesus to penetrate his subconscious mind and seek out whatever seed of disbelief was making him dream such horrible dreams as these. Father Eduardo said the Holy Rosary slowly and struggled to concentrate with each prayer before mentally fogging out and fading off into sleep.....
Do dreams have a language if they do send us messages? Dreams are visual as we do see in them, Father Eduardo was once again seeing himself rise out of his sleeping body.
Only this time his spirit left his body holding the Most Holy Rosary. This was different. It was comforting, consoling, this was assuring to Eduardo to walk in all this darkness alone but with the Rosary to aid him.
As a spirit Eduardo lit up in his aglow white robe, a robe like his vestments but less thick and of a more permanent fabric or of an immaterial. He continued on braving the darkness remembering all those people he had seen here whom he thought might be the poor souls in Purgatory. The souls he remembers seeing in one of the other distressing dreams.
How well can we connect to our dreams? Father Eduardo reached forth to pray, from his own conscious to his subconscious, from his sleeping body to his dreaming spirit, a call to pray the Most Holy Rosary in his hands. Father Eduardo first makes the Sign of the Cross in the dream...
There they were, but they were not souls. They were a score of people all being dead bodies scattered among what was like a floor in the darkness. Father Eduardo found who he was to be praying for. These were those souls he saw before or newer souls who needed praying before they were to leave their bodies. Eduardo began praying the Rosary, the Lord's Prayer.
Like tiny fireflies the soul-sparks from within each corpse flew up out of the dead bodies on the darkness floor. These sparks, each a deposit of a life now free to fly away into if it was darkness forever, were alive and if possible, immortal. Eduardo smiled and continued praying the Rosary until the dream ended. It ended with Eduardo in prayer as the spirit robed in dazzling white.
" I would tell you of this dream I had the other night," Father Eduardo so began by the second anecdote in his sermon the following morning. " but what use is that if even I cannot understand the dream? In addition, I am still feeling slightly under the weather like I am sure some of you are. I could very well have been experiencing a fever-induced dream. But anyway--" Father Eduardo sermonized on the repercussions the virus was having on society inside and outside of the church. Pastor Scott listened attentively trying to ignore the blistering from his tether. Scott was now watching Father Eduardo's live feed for the second Mass in a row.
" When a government so orders that our churches can no longer gather to worship, does this not demonstrate a bias within the government towards religious institutions and the religious freedoms our government is so indoctrinated to allow those institutions? " Eduardo was feeling very impassioned, he let loose in a manner Scott was finding extraordinary: " And here I hear about a minister being arrested at his own church for having a Sunday service and all his congregants were given fines and I find this very, very, very unfair and also unjust. As Catholics and Christians, I think we all should stand up to our government officials by means of voting and in writing and let them know we will not sit by and let them take away our God-given rights to worship our God-given Lord."
Father Eduardo takes a moment to think about how to close his sermon, and he thinks about a prayer offering that has been on his mind. " I would like to offer a special petition here for all those who might have the virus who are dying and may have already died or those who know others who have died from the virus, so....Lord, hear our prayer..."
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