A reason for everything...
A reason for everything...
I listened to her breathing go softer and softer until I knew she was asleep. I got up as carefully as I could, doing my best not to wake her. I swallowed thickly at the sight of her lying there asleep. Her long spiral curls had come loose from the the knot she had pinned them in and were now fanned out across the pillow. That dress she was wearing, did nothing for her beauty.
It was her beauty that lit up the dress.
I thought about the way I felt when she started crying in the car. Back when we were still in Washington. When she learned she wasn’t going home yet. I thought I was prepared for it. I thought I’d be able to keep a cool head about it, but my heart had been beating like a steady bass drum since that moment. Every tear reminding me that I was the cause of her pain.
All in all she took the news well. She calmed herself down and adjusted her outlook. Impressive of her considering she was an eighteen year old girl that had never been out of her home town. I smiled at the memory of her leaning into my body while we were watching movies. I almost let myself imagine we were on a date. Just at the movies like a normal couple.
What I wouldn’t give to have had a shot at her as just myself. At the same time, I know that if Derren hadn’t messed up that drop I never would have met her at all. We wouldn’t have gone looking for a hostage. If he had made the drop successfully he’d likely be dead right now.
The three of us had destroyed our phones after we left the hotel bar. Dale was probably shitting bricks wondering what was going on. I laughed at the thought.
I’ll get her too. I never leave a debt unpaid. I owe that bitch and I’ll get her.
First, a little vacation with Dollface.
I’m going to have to figure a way to get that money to Sam the grocery store owner. I promised Dollface I would pay him and I meant it.
Anything that makes me look more human to her I’ll do. Especially after killing someone in front of her the way I did. She might already see me as a monster. She might be trying to play the field a little. Maybe she thinks that she can charm her way home. I smiled to myself. If she only knew...
The way I felt when she looked at me after I shot Edgar was unreal. It was brand new to me. It hadn’t even occurred to me that I might feel that way. For the first time in my life, I was ashamed. Guilt closed around my lungs and I choked on the pain of it. The need to justify my actions was so great I had to yell at her just to shake it off.
That asshole knew what he was getting into long ago. He knew I’d come for him. He just didn’t think it would be so soon.
When we land in Russia we will head to my cabin out there. I had never brought anyone to this place except for my uncle. My uncle was a Russian Spy long ago. Back when he was my age. He had long since retired. He and his family were still there. Not far from my cabin.
Perhaps...I would take Dollface there for dinner.
If...I could get her to pretend she hadn’t been kidnapped.
If I could get her on my side.
Two weeks. That’s all I’ve got before I have to head to Spain on another job. Derren and Parker will both be in on it with me. As much as I’d like to drop them somewhere else I can’t. I have to keep them close right now. I can’t let them out of my sight until after I let Desire go. I can’t afford for them to betray me before I get to Dale.
“Kilo,” Desire whispered my name in her sleep and I whipped my head around to stare at her. Shit she was beautiful.
Was she dreaming about me?
Or, of me?
Control yourself Kilo. I was nearly shaking with need for her now.
I took a deep breath to steady myself and stood to lock the cabin door. After turning down the lights, I lay back down next to her and contemplated pulling her close. When I placed a warm hand on her hip to coax her back against my body she turned into my chest. I felt a constriction in my throat as she nestled into me. One leg raised up and slipped between mine.
Holy fuck. I can’t let her get any closer or else.
Maybe she’s cold? I tugged the covers up over us just in case, but she only snuggled in closer. The top of her leg wiggling in deeper as the softest of moans escaping her lips.
“Oh Dollface,” I whispered. My lips hovered just above hers for a moment. I had to clamp my eyes shut just to keep from kissing her mouth. Her delicate knee rode higher up my thigh and I groaned. I was definitely going to have a hard time falling asleep.
For the next two weeks that we're in Russia, I’ll go ahead and pretend I’m just a regular guy. Maybe I'll take her to a few of my favorite spots. Like that glorious waterfall hidden in the woods behind my cabin. The pool that surrounds it is heart-shaped. I know, because I flew over it once in a helicopter. It was the reason why I picked that cabin in the first place. Why? I couldn't say. It's not like I was in love back then. I guess, I just thought it was cool. Now though, that is the first place I want to take her.
Now it seems almost magical to me.
I want her to know that I’m not going to hurt her. I feel this need for her approval. I want to be perfect for her. There has to be a way for her to understand that there's more to me than what she's seen me do.
That there's always more than meets the eye.
A reason for everything and...
Everything for a reason...
Maybe if I were lucky, I would dream about her.