"What the fuck was that?"I shrug out Nate's grip. Joe might be Olivia's father, but he has no right to tell me to stay away from my own wife.
"Calm down," Andrew says and I glare at him. How can they expect me to calm down when am being forbidden to see my own wife.
"Don't tell me to calm down"I snap. Am tired of people telling me what to do.
"We are not the enemies here Tay. We are just trying to help." Nate says softly seating on the plastic chair in the hallway of the hospital.
I sigh and seat down, "I know."I run my hand over my hair. I look outside, and it's already dark and still raining.
"Do you think she will end things between us?" I ask my brothers the question that has been in the back of my mind but refused to think about it until now.
"Why would she end things? You are not guilty. "Nate state.
"She can't blame you for something you had nothing to do with or had any control over." this time Andrew says.
"But Donald is my cousin and when she sees me she will see him. All of us."I let out my fears.
"That's ridiculous and you know it."
"Is it though?"I ask Nate. Even he doesn't have an answer to my question.
"Olivia loves you and am sure you guys will get through this too. You might not know the love you have for each other, but we do. We have seen it with our eyes. Day in and day out of arguments, lies, and betrayals but you always found each other. If that isn't love then I don't know what it is because I have never seen anything like it." Andrew says confidently and Nate nods in agreement.
"We have been through so much that I don't think love is enough to keep us together, not anymore." my heart torns at the bitter truth that the reality has hit me with. No matter how hard I try to convince myself that everything will be okay, I know deep down that things will never be okay again. Maybe it's better if I stay away from her as Joe requested. Give her a chance to heal, to think about what she wants without me clouding her judgment.
"I think It's better if I stay away from her for a little while, "I tell Andrew and Nate, and they look at me like I have lost my mind.
"Why the fuck would you do that?"Nate asks.
"I don't think I can face her after witnessing Donald did to her" I state. The video is imprinted in my mind playing over and over and over again. Olivia painful sobs as she lays still in her own pool of blood unable to move. Donald's moans, grunts, and groans as he takes pleasure from her pain.
"Tay, Olivia needs you. She needs you to be strong for both of you."Andrew says.
"Olivia needs people who won't remind her of Donald around her. Us being close to her will make her hate us." a dig an even bigger hole in my heart. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. A part of me wants to stay here with Olivia, but another part of me keeps telling to go away. That when Olivia wakes up she will not want me anymore and I will instantly become blind without her.
"Don't do it" Andrew plead as I stand up. I ignore him and walk back in the direction where Joe and Nora are at.
"Tay!"a voice yells after me causing Joe and Nora to look up.
"I need a favor from you?"I tell Joe. He stands up with Nora by his side.
"You are no condition to ask me for a favor after what your cousin did to my daughter," he glares at me.
"Joe!" Nora says softly and he sighs in defeat.
"What is it?"
"I need you to take care of her for me please?"I request and he scoffs.
"I will take care of her more than you have had, trust me. She has shared enough tears in your hands and your family. I will make sure she doesn't this time and if I could turn back the time I wouldn't have forced to get married to you or anyone." he says harshly and in some way he is right. Olivia had shared many tears because of me. Maybe this is for the best for her, for us.
"Joe you can't just make a choice for her. Let her first wake up then, she can tell us if she wants Tay out of her life or not" Nora argues.
"Nora it's okay. I understand him"I say and give Nora a hug.
I walk away from the woman who has my heart and my soul with her.
"You are making a big mistake," Nate says as we step out of the hospital. We rush to my car as the rain pours.
"Maybe, maybe not, "I say and hop in the driver's seat. Nate gets into the passenger seat and Andrew in the backseat. I drive the car into the traffic.
I don't know if my decision was wrong or not, but right now it felt like it was the right thing to do. God! I love her so much, but I can't be selfish. Whether I like it or not Donald is my cousin and in Olivia's eyes, he will always be the guy who had ripped her innocence away from her. I can only hope this is not the end of us, the end of our story. Sometimes I feel like the universe is conspiring against us. Something always pops up to separate us. How much can our hearts stay together and not break into unfixable pieces?
Not so long ago we were planning our family, and now it's all gone. I stop at the red light and lightning strikes. A storm starting just like the storm inside me. A storm I don't know how to handle. The light turns green and I pass the intersection.
Ten minutes later I park in front of the house. Nate and Andrew run to the house leaving me behind. I punch the steering wheel taking all my anger on it. I rest my forehead against it and soon tears fall down my cheeks.
Why us, why us, why us, why us, why us, why us, why us, why us, why us, why us, why us. I keep repeating the words in my head all over again. I feel like I'm losing my mind, maybe I have lost my mind. I throw my head against the car seat and shut my eyes. Wishing all of this could be a dream, a nightmare I will soon wake up from when I open my eyes. I start the car and drive back to the empty road driving in circles. I, later find myself in front of Jessica's house. I needed a distraction from losing my mind, I needed to stay sane. Jessica could help, I needed to work. Work would definitely draw my emotional drowning thoughts.
I climb out of the car and into the hard pouring rain. I take my time walking to the front door mainly because I love how the rain is pouring down on me. I knock on the door and wait for Jess to open.
"Oh my GOD!"Jess says when she sees me.
"What are you doing here and why did you get yourself soaked. God! Come in" she pulls me inside and closes the door.
"There is a room next to mine that you can use to clean up" she informs, and I nod. I pad the stairs and walk to the room she told me to use.
I strip out of my clothes and get in the shower. I lazily stand under the shower. Ten minutes later I step out and dry myself. I walk out to find clean clothes on the bed. I dress up and walk downstairs.
"Hey?"Jess says softly.
"Did you manage to take the video down?"I ask as I pour myself whiskey.
"Yes but am afraid the damage is already done," she says and I nod in response and gulp down the whiskey.
"Do you remember when I told you I wanted to buy a hotel in Cape Town?" she nods.
"I want you to get all the information you can gather about the current owner."I request and she nods again.
"How is she?"I take the bottle and a glass to the couch.
"Better" I give a short answer.
"Why are you here Tay and not with your wife?" she asks with curious eyes.
"I'm here because I decided to stay away from Olivia until she tells me otherwise. I am here because I can't go inside my own fucking house because her scent is there. I am here because am afraid to sleep alone without her by my side and I'm here because I need someone to talk to other than my brothers. Is that too much to ask for?"I snap without meaning to. I have a death grip on the glass.
"Tay?" Jess says softly, and I shake my head no.
"Don't. Please."I place the glass on the coffee table and pour another drink.
"Just go to bed. We will talk tomorrow." she hesitates but nods. She walks out of the living room and pads the stairs. I grab my glass and walk to the small fireplace. I stand next to it looking at the fire like it is the most fascinating thing in the world.
"I love you, angel, so much. You don't how much I want to beside you right now." I whisper into space and gulp down my drink.