You know that I love you, right? But you lying on the bed like this, I cannot help but want to punch you real hard. But then you are already covered in bruises making me feel guilty for even thinking about this.
Nev, Stacey is being pain the butt. She keeps throwing comments here and there about everything that has happened.
I get this intense urge to shove her against a wall when she smirks but I refrain. Wake up, Nev. I want you to throw a punch at her for being annoying.
"Are you ready?" Mum puts her hand on my shoulders and holds my chin, turning my head to face her.
"I don't know." I mumble.
"It will be fine, Nev." She pats my head, "You can do this."
With a sigh, I make my way outside. Throwing open the door of Dad's Mercedes, I plant my butt on the passenger seat. After a minute or so, I find Dad and Liam coming.
I adjust my seatbelt as Dad puts the seatbelt around extra jumpy Liam. His excitement was making me throw myself in the nearest pit. But I control myself.
It wouldn't look good, Nev, when you will turn up at school covered in mud and pebbles. It won't.
"School is starting." Dad says, "So, who is excited?"
"Me!" Liam practically jumps from his seat, raising his hand in the air. Thankfully the seatbelt do their function.
Dad and I chuckle at the over enthusiasm. Dad adjusts the mirror before starting the car. I squeeze my eyes shut when he plugs the key in the ignition. Only when I hear the sound of engine starting, did I dare to open my eyes.
Dad looks at me with sadness before rearing the car and hitting the road. "Aren't you in excited, Nev?" He asks once Liam was finished talking about what he would be doing today in school.
I look at him and swallow, "I don't know."
"It will be fine, Nev." He says reassuringly.
Same words as Mum said. They say it will be fine but I know it won't. It won't be fine. It has been a year since I last stepped a foot in school. I don't know if I could handle everything without having my twin with me.
"It won't, Dad." I manage to say after a while. I check Liam from the mirror and find him looking out of the window, clearly uninterested in the conversation. "It has been a year."
He stops the car as the signal turns red. He looks at me with worry evident on his face. "What are you afraid of?"
What am I afraid of?
I am afraid that I will trip the first step I will take in that place. I am afraid that I would panic in the crowd. I am afraid that will forget everything and everyone, I have met in my life. I am afraid that I will not remember anything related to the last year's education. I am afraid that students will mock me.
I am afraid that I will be alone.
Keeping everything inside, I mumble, "Everything." I look at him, "And nothing."
Dad starts the car once again when the signal turns green. "You need not be afraid, Nev. You are brilliant. You are not going to forget anything."
"But if any teacher would ask me anything and I won't be able to answer, everyone would laugh at me." I tell him one of my greatest fear.
To be the spectacle of laughter.
"No one is going to laugh at you. Listen to me, Neveah," Dad gives me a side glance, "You are not going to forget anything. Absolutely anything. Just remember that you have learnt everything they did in a whole year, in just three months."
"Exactly, Dad." I point out, "Not even three to be precise. But the thing is, I know less. Lesser than them. And I don't even have Heaven to help me out. What if—"
"It is okay, Nev." Dad interrupts my what was supposed to be a ramble. "There is nothing wrong in knowing lesser than someone. Not everyone can precise something in less than three months, now. Can someone, eh?"
I shake my head.
"And Heaven will join you soon." He continues, "If anyone troubles you, complain against them. Complain to the authorities or complain to me. I will take care of him."
I grin wildly with tears at him. Dad looked so dangerous when he said the last line, as if he would certainly murder someone if they even dare to point a finger at me. But then what? Will he be the attorney of his own case in the court?
The car comes to stop in front of the familiar red building of my school. I unclip the seat belt and take my bag pack from Liam from backseat. Throwing open the door, I shakily take a step out.
Dad meets me in the middle in front of the car. "Do you want me to go to the office with you?" He questions.
I glance at the main entrance once before shaking my head. "No, I will be fine."
"The most I can be." I answer truthfully.
This all feels so familiar yet so different. The first day of senior year; the first day of school. The same assurance of Mum when that everything will be fine. The same assurance of Dad that if anything happens, report to me.
Just the difference: I am here alone today.
When we started school, I had my sister, my twin, my other half and my best friend with me. We had our hands held together when Dad dropped us in front of kindergarten. With our joined hands, we had together taken our first step into that building.
I blink back the moisture from my eyes and take a deep breath. It is going to be good. It is going to be fine. With a deep breath once again, I take a step to the school. I abruptly stop when I finally realize the stares of students around me.
Dad's car rears from behind me and I turn and give them a short wave at them. With final determination, I pluck up the courage and walk to the school, proudly with my head raised high.
There is no way I am letting it show that the stares and the whispers are crawling up my skin.
I take my schedule from the office before making my way to the locker. Not so surprisingly, I still had the same one as I did in the Sophomore year. Apparently, Dad didn't take my name out of school in the last academic year, even though I didn't attend it.
The murmurs and whispers begin in the hallway as soon as the students saw me. I prayed my friends would come soon and save me from this embarrassment. But much to my dismay, I don't find any friendly face at my locker.
With a sad grunt, I throw open the door and dump all the books other than Biology in it. First class, biology. Don't know what is stored in there for me.
"Oh My Gosh!" A loud shriek makes me drop my text book. Rolling my eyes, I turn my head to see a red head looking at me with surprise. Or mock surprise, if I may add.
"Yes?" I cringe when my voice comes squeaky. This is what happens when I don't speak for a long time. Clearing my throat, I say once again, "Yes?"
Thank Goodness, it came right this time. Or it would have been even more embarrassing.
"Neveah Flores?" Red head almost squeals in what she thought was happiness but I could see right through it. She comes to me and stands in front of me and reads my face as if to find something quacky.
"What do you want, Stacey?" I ask annoyed. Number one, she was staring me as if I was a piece of tissue under microscope and second, in the whole school, she was the one who acknowledged me.
"Well, aren't you the same?" She mocks, "Arro—"
"What do you want, Stacey?" I repeat.
She clicks her tongue and rolls her eyes. "I just wanted to check with my own eyes if the rumors were true."
"Yes, you know. The whole school," She gestures around, "Is buzzing with that Neveah Flores have come from dead."
Though, I knew this is the thing that everyone was talking about whenever I passed the students in the hallway, hearing it coming from someone was like a punch on the face. "Ye.. Yeah." I stammer, "So what?"
"So nothing." Stacey shrugs, "I just wanted to see you."
"Oh, I will go." She waves in dismissal, "You and I both know, I am not dying to stand here and talk to you."
"Yeah," I nod, "So why aren't you going?"
"Now," She whistles lightly, "It would be a lie to say that I am delighted to see you or it is good to see you back."
I nod. It would be really weird.
"But that doesn't mean, I hoped you your death." She says. My eyes widen as I consider her words. That was the first time, I had ever seen Stacey without her smirk or her arrogance persona, even if it was only for a minute. Or less than it.
"It's—," I pause for the lack of word. I sure as heck cannot say good anything like that. It is just not acceptable. "fine." I finish and cringe.
There is a moment of silence as Stacey does not say anything. I ain't crazy to start a conversation with her. So, I turn back to my locker and finish up the dumping and taking.
"How are you feeling?" Her voice reaches my ears. I pause and look at her. Is she asking me—
"That you are here and your sister is not?" She finishes.
That instantly brings back the current situation even though I hadn't forgotten about it. I glare at her hoping to reduce her to shreds.
"Where is she anyway?" She asks looking here and there. "I heard she has gone to some other country."
"It is none of your business." I growl.
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