Tears, screams, numbness

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!TRIGER WARNING! This story has a lot of self harming and abuse. If things like that affect you....please do not read this story. If you are strugling with depression or any other problems....it gets better, I believe in you and I know you can get through! Sending love! Story: This is a story about a girl (Rose) who is depressed and thinks that she won't last long. Things take a turn when se meets this new guy. But will he help her or make things worse? Read to find out...

Drama / Romance
Age Rating:

Chapter 1 - Numbness


This story has a lot of self harming and abuse. If things like that affect you....please do not read this story.

If you are strugling with depression or any other problem....it gets better, I believe in you and I know you can get through it! Sending love!

Another bad day...I am drowning again. I am suprised that I made it through the night.

Of all 17 years of my life I have been depressed for 8 years and it sucks.

Like is not enaugh that I have problems in my personal life since the age of 9 and it hasn't gotten any better....I also have to deal with those frecking jerks that keep bulling me since I started school when I was 6.

It feels like I am never good enaugh and that I am alone since I can remember. What have I done in my previous life to suffer so much in this one?

Well atleast I have one thing that I am in control of and it helps me forget. It feels like the razor blade is my best friend because it feels my pain and is always there when I need it. It never fails.

I used to care that the scars might be permanent and that I will never see my skin being smooth and soft again....but I have been in this numb place lately where I don't feel anything. I don't feel angry or sad....I just feel nothing and I don't care.

But moments of numbness don't last long. As soon as me and my razor have to seperate again it all comes back again...sooner that I would like.

It's monday morning and I am up before anybody else in this house because my plan is to leave for school before anybody wakes up. I am not a morning person and I like to spend as much time alone as possible.

I walk to school and it takes me 30-40 minutes to get there. And I am not walking because I couldn't go on the bus or something. Is just because I rather walk than to be traped on a bus with people who laugh at me behind my back. Being alone with my thoughts while I walk is okay but at the same time not because it can be quite dangerous for me to be left alone with my thoughts for too long.

I am about 20 minutes away from school and I decied to take out my razor blade that I always carry in my jean pocket. I do it because it will help me get through the first few hours of the day. I will have to think about not bleeding out infront of everybody and focus on the pain...and that means that I won't be able to think much about what people say or do to me. I never do it too close to the school to avoid anybody seeing me plus I need the extra time to put bandages on the cuts to stop the bleeding as much as possible.

It burned for split second and then everything was better. I foucused on the feeling of the blood dripping down my arm. I quickly woke up from my trans when I heard a car driving down the rode. I use the old road to get to school so there usually aren't many cars on the road. And by this point I was quite close to school so I rapped it all up and took a deep breath.

Yay another day of torture...

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Further Recommendations

kirstielowry96: I love this book! Very well written. Very mature written. Keep up the good work!

Waheeda Ahmed: A good and interesting book.Chapter 25 was hilariously funny. To think maybe i should do dt with my brothers (skunk smell 🤣🤣). Or with my future hubby and his friends. A date night out only for couples. That would be super fun.

Linda: wish cole could bring into his.

Elizabeth Woodruff: Love it awesome. Keep the updates coming. Your an amazing writer Lunababy. Amazing story.

Melinda Chavez: You go Morgan lol

Monica Gange: Absolutely in love with this book could do with no cursing though

cassijo87: I like it so far I’m not the biggest fan of the writing style though I would prefer it split more for different people

Lindsey Chapman: Omgomgomgomgomg

Stephanie Bibb: Love this book so far. Cant wait to read the next chapter.

More Recommendations

abigailramongalo: I like everything about the story but I feel like it's shot but that's me I don't know but hei it's a good Good story

blavkjovi: I really really love this book, after the first part which completely took my attention and I'm always so excited about the next update, now waiting for updates on the second part, I'm so excited and anxious to start another one of her amazing stories, and completely immense myself in her awesom...

Mindy: I would recommend this book for people who like fast pace stories.

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