January 13th, 2016
Terin and Cameron got their GEDs yesterday, and I couldn’t. I need to be 18 already.
Since I can’t do a lot of the things I really want to do, I’ve set up a writing, reading, and studying regimen for myself. I never studied with Terin and Cameron when they were studying for their GEDs, (not that they studied much…) and when I asked what was on it, I realized how uneducated I am. I’m actually pretty mad at myself.
I also want to have my novel finished by the time I’m 18, when I can finally get out in the world, so I have to put in the work. I make myself write for at least 2 hours everyday. It doesn’t really matter what I work on, (journal not included) as long as it will help me with my career. When I get writer’s block, I draw maps or characters. It helps me describe things better. I’ve even been editing my old stories, because I look back at them now and realize I’ve become a better writer. I might even fold up one of my stories and put it in here, so that I can see the edits I made now and look back on them later.
It’s really hard to focus here sometimes. Since Cameron, Terin, and I are awake during the day now, Mrs. Parker coming in and out from work can be distracting. Terin and Cameron’s banter can be distracting, and so can Cameron’s music. In the evening, if I end up having work to do that I didn’t get done, it’s hard to find somewhere where I can be alone. People go back and forth from the living room, the kitchen, the basement, and the bedrooms. So I try to get my work done during the day.
Cameron usually does his reading near Terin if he’ll allow it. Occasionally, Terin needs to be alone so he can focus on his art, but when they’re both reading neither of them care who’s there. If Terin doesn’t want Cameron’s company, he usually comes down to the basement where I am. I don’t mind Cameron’s company, but sometimes he just talks too much when I’m really trying to focus. He’s such a nice guy that I don’t want to tell him to go away, but sometimes I just. want. to. write!
Anyway, I’ve been trying to read books that most people read in high school. I found a couple lists on the internet to help guide me. I desperately need to fill the gap in my education, otherwise the world is going to be very daunting when I re-enter it. Then I can fulfill my dreams of getting my license and my GED, becoming a real writer, and making my own choices. And hopefully finding a girlfriend.
Unfortunately, some of these books I’ve assigned myself are SO BORING! Who let Frankenstein be so common in schools? There’s no value in reading that book at all! (That being said, Terin, Cameron, and I watched Young Frankenstein and it was hilarious.)
I can educate myself in literature, but not so much in math and science. I got Roderick’s number from Mr. Parker, and we worked out a deal where Roderick gives me a time to come visit when he’s not working, and if I show up on time and ready to learn, he’ll teach me whatever I want. He and Oliver have mostly been focusing on teaching me math above algebra, (which I only had one semester of before I ran away) but Roderick has been giving me some biology and chemistry stuff too. Oliver really wants to teach me physics, but I’m not quite ready yet.
I just can’t be uneducated when I get out of this house. I can’t.
I really don’t actually know what I’m going to do when I turn 18. The thing is, I can’t stay here.
Actually, I probably could stay here for the rest of my life, just reading and writing. But it would be boring and uninspiring 9 days out of 10. Sure, if I go home, I’m going to have to face a lot of people and problems that I’ve essentially ignored for years, but you know what they say: problems make for good prose.
Or something like that.
Terin and Cameron won’t join me in going to Roderick and Oliver’s because they said they don’t need upper-level math, even though they effortlessly remember pretty much anything I ever ask them to help with. It makes me kind of mad that they’re clearly geniuses, but they’re obsessed with music and art. If they put their minds to it, they could probably cure cancer or something.
Terin also refused to join me in reading these books, because he said he doesn’t need them to be a good artist. Plus, he likes poetry more. Cameron has read the ones that seemed interesting to him, so at least I’ve had someone to discuss things with sometimes.
The fact that they’ve already gotten their licenses and GEDs irks me. There, I said it. It drives me crazy. I want to scream.
I can’t wait until I turn 18. Because even if I decide to stay here, at least I’ll be able to do something besides sit around and wait for my life to begin.