Well there I was, holding a matchbox with me and I have no idea what I am going to do with it. I was sitting at least 10 meters away from the dead and I was like nothing happened and I sat there and lit the matches one by one and threw them. Suddenly, she came and asked me, “Excuse me! can you please help me to light this cigarette?”. I stood up and leaned toward her and whispered, “Don’t smoke, dead is watching.” And sat again smiling. “cut the bullshit and hand me the matchbox.” I looked at her for a moment. She was nice looking and well dressed like every other girl and she was not even sad about the funeral. I thought she must be an outsider but then I thought who comes to a graveyard for fun. I asked, “Did you knew him?”. She looked at me and gave me a weird look like she was checking me out and then replied, “Yes! He was my cousin.” I asked, “What was his name then?” she again gave me that weird look and headed towards some old people, I assumed her parents. She asked them something and then they both glanced at me and waved. I waved back and then I thought they told her about me.
When they started to bury the coffin, the girl came to me again.
“would you mind if I sit with you?”, she asked.
“It is a free country lady!”, I replied.
She sat there silently. Few minutes passed. I broke the ice by asking for a cigarette. When she became comfortable, I asked about her name and we started to talk.
“How did you know him?”, I asked.
“well, we were never close but we met at family reunions a few times and he was a nice person to talk to.”, she answered quickly.
“that explains your neutral emotions.”
“What do you mean?”, She asked.
“Well, you are not sad or anything.”
“Yes! I am not sad and I don’t think everyone else should be”
“hey! That’s rude.”
“What do you expect! A grown-up man leaves his family for some bullshit reasons.”
“You don’t even know him.”
“I know enough.”
“You don’t even know what he was going through.”
“Let me tell you something. There is no such reason to give up your life. you can always work things out. You don’t just climb the roof and jump without thinking about your loved ones.”
“Are you nuts? You don’t know shit about a person’s mind and how he should deal with his problems. I knew him and he was the best advisor and he was also against suicide. He celebrated life more than everyone else.”
“oh! Then the man you are describing just fucked with your mind and you knew nothing about him. The person you’re explaining to me can never do this sin.”
“When was the last time you met him? I think six months. That was the time when he went to a reunion. Right?”
“well…yes! And he left early.”
“After that, a lot happened. Did you know why he left early?”
“I had an accident. I broke my leg in it and he was the first one to be there at the hospital.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“shut up and listen. I thought after that everything was fine because of my accident he only told me the good things happening in his life just because he was afraid for my health condition. I always knew that I was the only person he shared all the things so I asked again and again. He kept ignoring. Months passed and he started to return home late and left early so that he does not have to face me. I thought it was work pressure so I never pushed him. I recovered from my injury and was watching tv one night then suddenly my phone rang. I picked it up.”
“Who was on the phone?”
Rohan called me and said,” Hey buddy! I know we are not talking much but I just wanted to talk to you and tell you some chores I do daily.”, his voice was a little rough and there were other sounds like wind and siren.
He continued, “so, do not forget to pick up milk and newspaper before that little doggy poops on it.” and then he told me all the stuff he used to do daily, and then we talked for several hours.
After a few hours, he started crying and it was now more difficult to listen to him,” yaar! Please save me. Please! He is going to kill me.”
“what? who? Who is going to kill you, Rohan? Where are you?”, I tucked my shirt and ran towards the door.
“I am hiding him from months but I just can’t now. He is too good at this stuff. You know na!”
“I don’t know shit man. Talk to me, tell me, where are you?”
He kept talking and crying then I figured that the siren sound was coming from the roof so headed towards it and kept talking to him.
“buddy please save me, I can’t handle, please he is right there in front of me.”
“Who is it? Tell me!”
“It’s Rohan. Not the cool one. He just terrifies me. He is trying to control me for months and I was avoiding him but now he is angry and trying to shut me up.”
“buddy you are Rohan. Tell me his name and stop panicking.”
“No, I am the good one. He is evil and he just wants to kill me now please save me.”
I reached the roof and saw him facing towards me and then he jumped.
The girl looked at me and she was terrified after listening to all of this.
“Yeah! I know I am the one who saw him dying. I am the last person he talked to and I was the one who was unable to save him. For the first few days, I also thought that It was stupid and he could have dealt with it but then I came to know that he was dealing with it already and he was seeing his doctor but the thing was communication. His parents were not there and I was the one he was hiding everything from. He was dealing with this pretty well but that day he overdosed and cannot control his inner self.”
“But why are you sitting here instead of standing there in his last times.”
“This is not his last time. I was standing there in his last times and trust me I regret it every day.”
I walked out of the place and she was still sitting there rethinking about her opinions.
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