Starting From Nothingness
Chapter 1: - Starting from Nothingness
My life until now has been a dark past even though I am just 16 years old. We all have some choices that we wish to change from the past. The choices I made even without thinking slightest about the decision I made, I always thought that there must be a reason I choose this path. I wasted my 5 years from when I was 10 years old to think about my life i.e. what choices should I make at the right moment. [Btw name’s Noah]
Human life: So where should I start about how everything works, the first thing I discovered that everything that happened around me happened for a reason and I used search for it for every little thing that happened around me. I still remember how I used to phrase the reasons and got to know that everything is connected like a string around. It is like I am covered with strings such that a little movement can change everything.
I attended a government school with a neighborhood that had all rich people. I never really got to talk with them, I made friends for almost like 2 years from the day I started attending it. Well, of course I lied to them that I was somewhat a rich guy.
Now then here it goes, a new student entered our class. And she was a girl, more the fact about her that we are form the same town. Her name was Tuba which resembled the musical instrument.
I liked her from the first sight where our eyes met. She transferred from a prestigious school which was the most expensive in our area and more days passed she became the student with the highest grades in our class. I just liked so much staring at her without anyone noticing in between the class. I knew that she was out of my league but I still had to do something. We did talk to each other like two sentences, it sounds weird but I did treasure those two sentences a lot. They were like echoing in my head everyday and cheering me up.
I had a friend whose name was Georde he loved music a lot, we used to share our songs with each other and had a lot of fun. He used to sit right next to me and used to study every time whenever he got free time. And of course, it influenced me, I had thoughts like what the hell are you doing start studying!!
To think that I found a reason to study seeing my friend working hard, and our bond of friendship was a lot stronger since we used to study together and we promised to see that whoever gets more marks in the coming finals math test will win!!
We got the results I scored more than him, his face holding the paper was full of shock. I cheered him up saying “congrats on the marks and don’t mind the promise it doesn’t matter whoever win or lose”.
The new year and the new grade started. I was full of excitement for my new experiences ahead.
As I entered the class, I sat at the second last bench waiting for my friend and had a seat reserved for him. As he entered the class, he said to me “I will be sitting with that guy sorry”. With stammering I said “ok, no problem”.
Further the fact he started ignoring me. My only reason to study was gone. My grades went down in exams like a crashing airplane.
Our math teacher used to create group of people and used to give them tasks. The one with more grades used to be the group leader .Tuba became a leader of the first group and was asked to select a student from the class as the president of the group. Even though I had no chance I was excited for the choice she makes and she selected Gerode, of course she did. After leaving me behind he got good grades in all the subjects .Another big shock hit me that I was not prepared for. The most interesting thing no one from leaders selected me as their member, I was the last one to be left behind and was appointed a member of the second group by the teacher. Don’t know why I started laughing in my head that “am I that much low to u all”.
After some days I started to notice that the tuba started talking to Georde often and used to study together and have lunch together. Seeing her like that was a lot painful to me.
One day I was headed for the library, and saw Georde and the Tuba talking to each other. He didn’t even notice me that I entered the library or even laid an eye on me. I was curious about what they were talking about and hid right behind the bookshelf without them noticing me. As I started listening them, they were talking about songs they liked. I was like so she likes songs to. As I peeked a little further, he gave a list of paper of songs to her and said “here are the songs I like, I wrote them down on the paper”
She replied “thank you, I will listen to them”.
A little further and I saw that was the paper I gave him. I even forced him everyday to listen them but he never did and he is giving them to the girl saying he wrote them down. How much further have you gone down you little shit.
Many days passed after that; I was really in anguish everyday seeing those two together. I stopped caring and moved on. He confessed her on the sports festival in front of all of the class. And she accepted it, everyone was happy about them and started making a large group around those two. If I think about myself, I was sitting alone in my desk at the corner without even caring about what was happening around me.
And for the first time after ages Georde approached me and whispered in my ear “ I got Her Form you”
Chapter 1 Ends Here...
Loneliness: How should I describe it, is it the emptiness we feel inside our body that makes us cry for help inside our heart, the feeling shouts out from our chest “please someone! Someone, help me”. But the feeling that there is no one around you to help you. Our mind would be totally blank, not a single thought comes to our mind. And all we do is cry….
The first time I felt it I couldn’t understand it that why am I crying what is this that I am feeling at the moment. It was really hard since it used to continue for days.
I started fearing that feeling, but like a rain after drought. I was engulfed in the world of music again and helped we suppress the loneliness inside me..
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