The week flies by considerably fast, with my constant calls with Stella, several breakdowns, and some guitar practice.
Despite the unending reassurance that this is merely just another semester, with new classes, potentially new people and teachers.... haha, no, I am not any calmer than I should be. In fact, it’s midnight, and I’m freaking out.
I find myself tossing and turning endlessly, hoping the night fades away and the sun finds a way to radiate its rays of light through the small crack of the window, but no, I’m stuck here, I’m the dark, with my mind.
I consider calling Stella, but I worry that she’s already fast asleep, I don’t want her to get up late for school tomorrow because of me.
You could trip, fall and break your neck at school tomorrow. You might piss off some guy you’ve never met and he might break your neck. Or you could fail every exam, make enemies with a teacher, oh the possibilities are endless, Holland.
Stella once suggested to me, if you can’t fight the noise in your head, drown it out. And as stupid as it sounds, I decide to do so by connecting my earphones to my phone, and play some random YouTube mix of music. I don’t know exactly what’s playing, but I close my eyes and try to block the endless flow of thoughts invading my brain.