Oh, be a man
Oh, be a man. That was what he said. I’m a man. Well, I have to be because I have all the right parts. That statement had not died out on me ever since it was said this morning and normally, these kinds of statements rolled off my shoulders like sweat that rolled down Dr Holland’s assistant and into her delectable cleavage.
I couldn’t help but admire her. She was a beautiful woman that obviously was not given that complement enough in her life. And the way the drop of sweat left a trace on her flushed olive skin, gave me more evidence that I was a man, I uncomfortably shifted in my chair, the movement coming from the patient waiting area caused her to look at me.
Thank god she wasn’t a mind reader but nerveless her smile made me blush, I hated when that happened. But evidently, she liked it because it caused the smile more profound.
“I hate you. This is over do you understand. Don’t get me wrong I one for second chances but I don’t deserve this”, whispered another beautiful woman to a man next to her.
I appreciated her looks like fine art, one that obviously rose in value with age. She looked about my mother’s age and besides that, the two had nothing in common. This woman was lushes and more domineering in her tone. Her brown hair cascaded down her shoulders covered with a grey suit jacket.
She was a businesswoman. Maybe a lawyer. But from the argument, she gave her apparent husband she was either a bad lawyer or not one at all. I spend too much time with lawyers and their bravado not to identify them on the spot. They had a clear feel about them and a tone to their voice that hammered my head in, maybe that’s why I was here. I kept observing the woman for a second as the man leaned in and said something in her ear. Whatever he said it obviously made the beautiful woman upset. And something about that made me open my mouth.
“Leave him. Your obviously beautiful and deserve a man that tells you that every day. And one that doesn’t deflate your mood due to either having a bad upbringing, a bad day or a small penis.
There are plenty eligible bachelors in the vast city of London that would kill to be in your presence. And you don’t need him, we are in a time when the phrase behind every man there is a great woman should be changed to behind every amazing, awe-inspiring woman there is no need for a man”, I said, I didn’t smile, not yet, but when the woman gave a strangled giggle and a beautiful smile it caused my mask of indifference to falter, which was the first time today.
The comment must have made her day and when the marriage counsellor, Dr Gwen stepped out of her office, she already knew she was about to have a Hell of a session, especially when the woman smiled herself into the office and the man bitterly stomped after her.
Shooting me a glare I couldn’t help, but to raise the corners of my mouth into, what my parents would call, a shit-eating smirk that one day would get me either slapped around the face by a beautiful woman or kissed by one.
But this was definitely not a woman, this was a man that could bench-press me in one of his hands or break me in half if he just wanted, this is why I knew if it came to an apocalypse, men would go extinct first because when testosterone kicks in we will kill each other off. And just like I expected, slightly too late, the man charged like a bull seeing a red cape. Amongst marriage problems, this man must have been in Dr Holland’s office for anger management. He lifted me by the lapels of my suit jacket and lifted me off the chair and nearly off my feet.
“What you got to say now, smart boy”,
“I’m rich and I have a father who doesn’t like me. But he’s a lawyer and this is my favourite suit jacket. Also, I have a gala after this so punch me please, ultimately if I land in the hospital, it would grant be the ultimate excuse to get out of it. Just not in the face, I value my brain and organ damage lasts longer than a black eye.” I closed my eyes when he started to load his arm which not to mention was the size of my thigh.
Just not in the face, not in the face and if he decided on the face, just not the temple, I will accept a broken nose and not a broken brain. With death, I couldn’t argue but at least I would have some piece. Just when he made his decision, I heard the door I waited to open for the last thirty minutes swing agape just like in a cowboy movie and I felt a presence next to me. I slightly opened my right eye to look at Dr Holland. Sometimes I thought the doctor needed more therapy than me and now I was sure because he looked from my face to the man that was about to kill me with utter amusement.
“Whatever he said. He meant it. I would urge you to forgive him. If he dies, his father would not be able to pay for my Ferrari. So just chase him down later. Next week maybe. I don’t mind the date, you are both grown men, you can decide. Also, Mr Craftwork, his father will literally bring hell to your doorstep if just one black hair leaves his scalp. I won’t be able to help you. And when we first met you made it apparent that was what you wanted”, some of Holland’s words must have stuck because the man redirected his eyes to him. Dr Holland gave him a stern look that until then I thought I was the only one to receive. The man let me go.
I caught my balance just in time to make a manly recovery, see dad, I am a man. I run the fingers of my right hand through my hair and noticed quickly they were shaking. The man scoffed and nodded to Dr Holland with a silent message of thanks. When the man walked into Dr Gwen’s office along with his now angry wife Dr Holland took his place in front of me. He straightened out my lapels and smiled.
“I have to say it is a nice jacket”,