I woke up from the feeling of someone or should I say something was licking my face. I groaned only to realize it was my dog Luci. Luci as in Lucifer Morningstar from the tv series. Don't ask me why. It just came from my mind when I adopted this cute ball of fur.
I didn't bother getting up not until this oddball jumped on me waging his tail trying to wake me up from my slumber. It's only 5 o'clock in the morning and sure as hell I didn't set my alarm since it's my rest day today. However, my cute little companion didn't get to understand that as he continued to pull me out of the bed which he successfully did as I met face to face with my carpeted floor.
He seems delighted with my misery and I let him tackle me more. Chuckling at my dog, I sat up straight and played with him a little, ruffling his fur and massaging his cute face. Creatures' ages were really different from human for he wasn't a small pup anymore. This crossbreed of a siberian and a malamute can now tower over my tall, lean figure. Well, I guess time flies faster than I thought.
I got up and walked towards my bathroom. Staring at the mirror, I realized I looked like a mess. Messy hair, pale skin, my eyes probably have bags under another bags. Beard almost visible on my chin. A little pimple here and there. Yes, people. I'm not as handsome as most of characters in the books you're reading with matching perfect jawline and pointy nose. I have looks that may pass as an average guy you would meet in college. I'm not the typical bad boy good girls would fall for. I'm just me. Nothing special.
I grabbed my toothbrush and put some toothpaste on it and started brushing my teeth. After washing my face, I immediately changed into my sports attire. Since I won't be sleeping anytime soon, I decided to go for a morning jog just outside the apartment I'm renting. I needed this to boost my stamina. I even went to swimming class because my doctor told me it's a good exercise especially for someone like me who's been Asthmatic ever since. He also advised me to join sports and with his go signal, I audition for our college's basketball team. Luckily, I got in.
Soon after I'm done with my routine, I called my dog Luci.
"Hey Luci, feeling energetic today? Come on bud. Let's run around the block." And he immediately obliged seeming excited about going out. I locked the door of my apartment and started warming up for a bit before going for a slow run with Luci in front of me. Clearly my dog woke up at the right side of the bed.
We jogged for almost thirty minutes before I noticed that we were already in the park near our area. There were a lot people than usual. Probably because it was weekend and almost everyone were off duty.
My fur baby walked up to me as if asking for a permission to play with the other dogs and I let him. Finding a tree nearby, I sat down on the pavement and rested. The park we were in didn't looked like the ordinary park. It was what I recalled a linear park. It stretched for I don't know how long. Maybe as long as the river was. Or it was until the bridge. I gazed at my surroundings further. I saw an old woman selling rice cakes, breads and the likes. Beside her was a man selling soy pudding. Children were actually going for a line for this little treat. Well, I can't actually judge them. I'm like that when I was younger. I'm worse though. I wrestled with my friend just to be the first on the line for that snack.
Thinking back, I realized how simple life was like back when we were young. How naive we were all thinking we can get everything we ever want when we grow up. It wasn't always going to be unicorn and butterflies. How stupid of me to ever think like that. This is life now. One full of pain and never ending battles not just with everything but also with your own self.
I raised my head searching around wondering where my doggo is. Upon doing this, a figure of someone I know deeply caught in the line of my vision. Well, this is an interesting morning far away from my dull life after graduating college. I walked up to where she is and greet her.
"Rabbit, how are you?" Her real name was Cassiopeia but I have a pet name for her that only I can call her. I call it quits though. She gave me a nickname of 'Daga' (mouse) while I call her 'Rabbit'. It's cute. Really. We were third grader that time. She was my seatmate during class and we instantly became friends. Probably to her being talkative and bubbly. To me, she was Ms. Little Sunshine as she was always a bundle of joy and everything just brightened up wherever she goes. But of course, as the saying goes by, one can never really have it all. Because behind that cute face, she can be one hell of an enemy when you get on her wrong side. She has this spitfire attitude and the nerve to never back down to anyone. If I'm to describe this side of her, she's a little demon walking around with us. Almost everyone in our class were scared of her.
"Oh! Hey there! I've been waiting for you here since forever. But of course, forever doesn't exist. So yeah." She said the words bitterly and I laughed to that.
"You, my friend never changed!" I wasn't kidding when I said that. She still had the aura of a fighter and one should run the moment she snapped. I still remember how our friends told me how she went on a fistfight with one of their boy classmate when she was in grade two. I even witnessed her having a brawl when we where on our fourth grade. Boy I can tell you, this lady in front of me never backed down on a fight. Heck she even went as far as throwing chairs to everyone who stood her way that time. I couldn't blame her though, when you're the smallest kid, you would get picked on. But that's not the case with her. She got the whole classroom on their necks.
However, looking at her now, there's something off with her although she looked like she haven't changed physically.
"Why are you waiting for me?" I asked her. I took this moment to scan her from head to foot. She was wearing a fatigue pants, a combat boots and an olive green t-shirt. She was holding her old wooden guitar which she was strumming while humming at the same time. Her long straight hair were pulled back in a high ponytail. And a little bit of her bangs framing her face.
Realizing I was kind of checking her out with the way I looked, she raised her perfect shaved eyebrows. Yes, shaved and not drawn with pencil. That's one of the things I like about her. She always go with her bare face and I'm telling you, it's refreshing to see something so beautiful yet so natural.
"I'm here because I wanted to talk to you about something." She answered.
"You could have called me instead of going your way out to get here. What are you, someone who came from the ice age?"
"Haha very funny. I like the movie though. Anyways, I didn't just come here to talk but rather give you something very important to me. Because apparently, cellphones don't have the option to transfer this thing." She rolled her eyes at me after handing me a square object that seemed like a book. It was wrapped in a red scarf and binded with a red ribbon.
"Since when did you became this sarcastic? And it's not like today's my birthday. Or have you forgotten the date at all?" I eyed her suspiciously. It wasn't my birthday today but in less than two months.
"Hell would freezes over first before I forget your birthday dude. Consider that as my advance gift."
She extended her hand at me like she's asking for some gift in exchange. Of course! How could I forget? It's her birthday in thirty days.
"Hey, you couldn't possibly assume I already got you a present! You should've informed me first!" I huffed and she glared at me as I glared at her back. A minute passed and we couldn't hold it in as our lips broke into a wide grin before bursting into a fit of laughter. She was too happy that she even slapped my arm and made a cackle that sounded like some insane evil villain in a princess movie. She was even clapping her hands like a seal. People looked at us like we were crazy. Harley Quin and Joker ladies and gentlemen!
Well, one thing about her was that, she doesn't give a damn if she looked stupid with the way she laugh. If she's happy, then she will laugh her ass off regardless of the place and timing.
After quite a while, she started to play her guitar and sing a song. Her voice doesn't sound soft and mellow, but it was heavenly. Instead, I could hear a bit of raspiness when she's hitting a high note.
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
The song was a bit familiar to me. I might search this when I got home. Hearing her sing this song made me realize that something is off but I couldn't figure out what. I listened to her while she's singing the last chorus as if she was telling me a story.
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
She shifted her fingers to another fret and sang another song which I know of and joined her. We played a few songs before she stood up and told me she's heading home.
"It's really nice seeing you again."
Uncertain with the vibes she's giving off now, I muttered a question.
"Why does it feel like you're leaving and I won't going to see you ever again?" I tried to make my tone a little happy. Who knows? It might just be another prank of hers. But I know in myself deep down, her words have another meaning that I couldn't wrapped my head around it.
"Because I'm really leaving." She shrugged before walking away from me.
I stood there dumbfounded but decided to brushed it off since she sometimes act weird and cryptic.
My train of thoughts stopped when Luci wrestled me to the ground. He started barking and pulling me towards our way to home. Boy must have been hungry from all the playing he had with the other dogs. Well, at least someone is happy.
When we return to our apartment, I tossed the book Cassiopeia gave me into my bookshelf. I'll probably wait until my birthday to read this book.
I took a bath first before cooking our breakfast. It wasn't a fancy one. Just some sunny side up, ham and a fried rice for me and Luci.
After eating and washing the dishes, I climbed up to my bed with Luci beside me. I grabbed my phone which seemed to be low on battery and rummaged my cabinet for the charger. Since I couldn't play with it, I opted for my laptop instead to check for mails and blasted a song on my speaker.
Laying on the bed, I thought back my weird encounter with Cassiopeia a while ago. She seems fine but the little smiles she'd given me made me think of something else. I shook my head in confusion. Maybe I was just over thinking things. Like, she's Cassiopeia, the seated queen in the constellations! Of course she would be fine. Besides, she's one of the toughest girl I know. She should be fine.
I decided to search for the song she first sung. I didn't know she was into Linkin Park. I couldn't object though. Her voice fitted these type of music. Hell, I bet she can even belt out some Paramore songs.
I turned the volume up and later on, I was banging my head following the rhythm of the song Leave out all the rest . I've got to give it her, she has a really good taste in music. I played the song nonstop all day until I was able to play it on my own guitar.
I was busy plucking the right string when my phone beeped. Someone's calling me obviously and as I checked it, it's my girlfriend, Venus. I answered it immediately before the ringtone play all over again because that would be catastrophic in my side.
"Hi babe! Why did you call?"
"Do not greet me as if you didn't made me wait before you answer my damn call!" She yelled on the other line.
Well, meet Venus. If I were to describe her as a girlfriend, I can say she's fine. Though we had our ups and downs on our relationship, I can tell that we really love each other. Well, that's what I want to believe. Because truth to be told, sometimes I felt like being suffocated. She gets too possessive and would actually caused a huge drama over little things. However, I love her so I'm trying my best to understand her. She's not perfect and neither am I. In a relationship, one must know when to stay low and be the matured one. But I guess we also have our limitations as to how long we can tolerate something.
Like right now. It's safe to say that our relationship has gone rocky these few months.
"I'm sorry okay? I'm doing something and my phone's kind of out of my reach." I sighed and rubbed my temple in a hope of preventing an incoming headache.
"Well, you better not be lying! Who knows if you have gone cheating on me already!" She talked back.
I guess this is what I called 'new normal' in our relationship. I was trying to save us from our fall out but it seems that my efforts were futile. I would do things to gain her appreciation but I would only received accusations of cheating in the end. Well, I understand where she's coming from. For she can only appreciate things she asked for.
But I cannot give her the thing she was asking me. She asked me to have a child with her now. I know I'm the guy and for most cases, it's the other way around. Don't get me wrong though. I'm not afraid of taking responsibility and all but I'm not ready yet to settle down. I still want to get my siblings to graduate first and help my family. I still want to achieve my dream of becoming a successful engineer. And lastly, I really think that 21 years old is still too young to be tied down. There were things I wanted to enjoy that I wouldn't be able to when I get married.
To be frank, I was actually thinking that I lost my days when I should be enjoying my youth because of her. She would forbid me joining my friends whenever we have get togethers. Sometimes, she would insist to to be with us even if I told her that it's an 'all-boys' time. She would block all the girls in my phone even if they just asked me about projects and work related. It's kind of toxic for some, but I can't bring myself to break my promise to her that I wouldn't leave her. So I told myself to hang on, until I'm all used up. I knew in myself that my love for her has wavered these past few months and I'm starting to feel pity on her.
Taking my silence as a confirmation which for the record I'm not, she added "Where the hell are you? You and I need to talk about something!"
I know what we're going to talk. It's already a given that she would still ask for it. But I guess I just reached my last straw.
"Fine, let's talk. I'm coming over your house tonight. I've got something to tell you." With that, I ended the call thinking how should I get this done.