"Jamie just answer the phone" Alex pleaded for the hundredth time but I wasn't having it.
"No" I stubbornly crossed my arms over my chest as the phone went off beside me again.
I refused to answer his calls or texts for the past three days. I wasn't normally the stubborn type, but he really hurt my feelings. I knew that he was probably worried as hell and I should've called, but his reaction could've been different. It showed me another part of him that I didn't know about.
"Jamie I hated the way he talked to you, but-"
"But nothing Alex. I was wrong but he was too"
"And he knows that. That's what he's trying to fix" He tried again, as my phone went off again.
"Why are you sticking up for him? When since are you guys besties?" I snapped unintentionally. His chest rose as he pulled on his hair, and I knew his patience was running thin.
"I'm not doing it for him. I'm doing it for you Jameila! Yea he f**ked up, everybody does. But you cant push away someone who obviously cares about you, just because you're afraid of letting people in."
I knew he was serious when he used my real name, and the fact that he cursed. I sighed as the phone went off yet another time with a text, and Alex just eyed it then walked off to the kitchen.
I eyed the paper beside me that I have been trying to finish for school, but I haven't even written half a page. My mind was too cloudy and distracted to come up with something sensible to put on the paper.
I sighed again, knowing what was hindering my process as I glanced at the phone one more time. Alex was right. I was afraid to let Cameron in. I thought I could, but after what happened on Saturday, I wasn't sure what to expect anymore.
It brought back too many memories.
I also knew that I couldn't ignore him forever, and if I was being honest, I don't wanna either. I picked up the phone and scrolled through the messages he sent me over the days. A frown took over my lips as a pang of guilt jerked me for ignoring him this long.
I took one last glance at the direction that Alex went in, and pressed the call button. He picked up at the second ring.
"Yah it's me. Um-can we-um..talk?" I asked, feeling nervous for some reason.
"Yes of course. I've been wanting to talk to you for a while now too. Jamie, I'm so sorry for how I acted. I didn't know what came over me" He sounded genuinely sorry, and every speck of anger vanished immediately.
"It's okay. I'm sorry too. I should've told you where I went"
"You don't have to be sorry about anything" He whispered sincerely. "You were obviously upset about something. I should've talked to you about it instead of acting like a mad man. "
I bit my lip at the thought of it all. Do I even want to tell him the real reason why I ran?
"You there?" He asked after I didn't respond.
"Yea I'm here. And um-Cam?"
I squeezed my eyes tightly shut as I thought about all the possible ways this could end. "Can we talk in person?"
"Of course. I'll come pick you up and we can go wherever you want." I heard shuffling as he talked, so I got up too to put on something decent.
"Okay I'll see you"
I hung up the phone and threw it on a nearby table. There are so many ways this could turn out, and I wasn't prepared for none of them.
We drove in silence for a long while till it got very uncomfortable. He would tap his fingers on the steering wheel ever so often, and bunce his leg occasionally. I could see that he was nervous, but I didn't get why.
I already expressed to him that I wasn't upset anymore, and I'm sure he knew I wasn't going to break off our friendship. So his nerves, I couldn't understand.
I, on the other hand, was nervous for understandable reasoning. Maybe I shouldn't tell him the real reason why I ran. It's not like I was going to keep these feelings or manifest them, so it doesn't really matter.
"Here we are" He announced, and I was snapped out my thoughts to see that we were parked in front of the park. Where this nightmare started.
It was already 5 pm since I've been home from school for a while, but I thought talking here would be somewhat easier.
I gave him a sly smile as I unbuckled myself and hopped from his car. My arms automatically wrapped themselves around my torso as the cool breeze rippled against my skin, giving me goose bumps.
"Here" Cameron offered, as he wrapped his jacket over my shoulders, and I couldn't help but appreciate the warmth that automatically girdled me.
"Hhmm thank you" I almost moaned at how comfortable I felt, but then I almost felt bad for leaving his arms bare for the cold air to bite, though he didn't seem to mind.
We walked in even more silence to an empty bench, leaving a few inches between our bodies. No one talked for like a whole two minutes, but it was way too suffocating.
"So here's the thing"
"I don't know where to start" We both said at the same time, making things even more awkward.
"You first" he offered, and I nodded slowly and took a deep breath.
"So here's the thing" I started again as I turned around more to face him. "I didn't run because I was upset. I ran because-um..well"
I huffed in annoyance at getting tongue tied. Maybe I really should keep it to myself, I thought. But the moment his reassuring hand found my thigh, I knew there was no going back.
"It's okay. You can tell me anything" He said with a smile.
I bit my lips as he softly caressed the spot. Even in jeans it felt so amazing and slightly arousing. I tried hard not to focus on it, as I cleared my mind once again.
"I didn't run because I was just upset. I ran because I was jealous" I whispered, hoping that he didn't hear. But when my the movements of his fingers stopped, I knew he heard.
I suddenly regretted opening my big mouth, and it only got worse when his hand retreated. I had an internal panic attack as I dared myself to meet his eyes, but I immediately looked back down on my hands when I saw how intensely he was watching me.
Yep, I ruined everything.
I felt the need to justify myself quickly. I knew it didn't take a genius to guess why I was jealous, but at least I could probably dig myself out a little.
"I know it's stupid and I probably ruined everything but it's true. I was jealous because I have a crush on you but I'll get rid of it soon don't worry I know this isn't how things were suppose to go. You don't have to worry about it"
"I mean, I knew 'us' could never happen for more reasons than one, but I didn't even know when I started developing feelings. But I promise I'll cut them off. I just wanted to tell you why I ran and why I didn't think to call you after. I was just so confused and hurt. And then when I saw you and we got in that argument-"
"Jamie wait" He tried again, but my rambling never stopped.
"I felt like that was it for us, you know? But even if I ruined everything now I just wanted to tell you why. I'm sorry for throwing all this on you now. I know this wasn't what you wanted but I promise I wont let it ruin things and-"
"Jamie!" This time he held onto my shoulders and I was forced to meet his eyes again.
To my surprise, they danced with happiness instead of unsurity, and his lips were curved into a perfect smile. I cocked my head to the side in confusion as he eliminated the space between us and held my cheek with one hand. His blue eyes were piecing into my soul, sending me a message I couldn't decode.
"Don't you see it Jamie?" He asked as he continued to search my eyes. "I like you. I like you so damn much"
If I had a mirror, I would be sure that my eyes looked as wide as bulbs in that moment. His words were just swimming around in my head, and my heart beated rapidly against my chest. In one sense, I was absolutely exhilarated, but at the same time I was terrified.
"In a short span of time, you've managed to do to me what nobody has never gotten close to doing, ever." He scooted even closer to me, still staring deeply in my eyes. "And I don't want you to get rid of your feelings. I'm actually really happy you have them"
For the first time since I was there, I actually smiled, but it fell when he uttered his next words.
"And I would really like to give 'us' a shot. This was what I wanted to tell you all along. This was what Mario meant" He chuckled at the thought of the eleven year old, but I felt like hyperventilating.
"But Cameron, how can we?" I asked in not so much more than a whisper. Luckily he was close enough to hear me.
"In my eyes there's nothing stopping us, and I would really really like that. Wont you?"
I shook my head as I dropped my gaze from his. It wasn't that I didn't want it, I just couldn't bring myself to.
"Why not? What is it Jamie? I promise I'll find a way to make it better" His voice held so much determination, but it was gently and reassuring non the less.
It was then that I noticed that I was the only one who knew why this couldn't have just up and worked. I found his eyes again, actually offended that he didn't seem to remember, and if he did, he surely wasn't acknowledging it.
"You don't remember, don't you?"
His eyebrows pulled together in confusion as he peered at me. "Don't remember what?"
I looked to him with an unreadable expression, as all the memories were fresh in my mind like it happened yesterday.
"You really don't remember"
Hey guys! So I know this wasn't the most interesting chapter, but it was mainly for plot development.
I'm sorry for the late updates, university is really a pain in the a**. But I will update as soon as I get the chance.
Happy reading !