Have you ever had that moment where you just told yourself the same thing over and over, hoping that you'll believe it if you just continue?
Well it doesn't work.
I spent about an hour last night, telling myself that the 'almost kiss' wasn't a big deal. But I somehow couldn't bring myself to believe it. But, why?
It's not like it happened.
But I couldn't wipe the look on his face out of my head. The way he stared at my lips and in my eyes; I couldn't get it out of my mind. It made me all tingly inside just remembering.
It wasn't the almost kiss that kept me up, it was the look on his face.
Then again, he's Cameron Riley. He's probably looked at every girl he almost kissed that way. So yet again, I was just being extra.
I squinted as the rays of sun blasted through my now opened curtains. I still had my eyes closed, but being in the dark this long made it noticeable.
I have been awake for about ten minutes, and I heard when my bedroom door opened, but I made no move to open my eyes to see who got in.
"Wakey wakey Jamie"
I stiffened at the sound of Cameron's voice, and I especially made an effort to act like I was sleeping.
I wasn't ready to face him just yet. Everything was still so fresh. I even thought I'd wake up and see him gone.
It was silent for a while, so I thought that he left. I wasn't sure, so I opened one eye to check, but quickly closed it back when I saw him smirking at me.
"I know you're awake" He said a little too confidently. I mentally cursed.
"No you don't " My stupid mouth uttered. He laughed before plopping down on my bed and pulling my sheets off my body.
Bad idea buddy. Bad bad idea.
His eyes immediately went to my exposed stomach and legs, since I had only taken off my sweats before I went to bed. I saw his pupils dilate and my body became all tingly again.
"Eyes up here dude" I managed to say as I pulled back the covers over my legs. His eyes snapped to mine, and just like that, he was normal again.
He smiled at me, looking not at all awkward or weirded out like I had been.
Yep. I was just being extra.
"Get ready. I'm taking you somewhere" He announced as if I just had to do as he said.
"Its Saturday. I have work"
"Ah-huh. Work at one in the afternoon? "
My eyes widen as I searched for my phone in the sheets, and they widen even more when I saw that it was indeed 1:05 pm.
I jumped up and scurried to my closet, not caring that I was once again exposed to Cameron's eyes.
"Shit shit shit" I muttered when I couldn't seem to find anything from the stocks of clothes I had. Davion is so gonna have my head.
"Calm down Jamie" Cameron chuckled. "You have the day off"
I ceased my movements and slowly turned around with a purple sweater in my hand as I processed his words. He had an amused look on his face with his eyes strained on my face.
"What do you mean I have the day off? "
"I had Alex call your supervisor and tell him you were sick"
At first I was a little relieved for the day off, but knowing Davion, he'll probably want a doctor's note or some crap.
"This is the part where you say thank you" He broke my thoughts by saying.
A small smile played at my lips as he watched me expectantly. I guess it wouldn't be bad to go out on a saturday for change.
"Where are we going? "
"That's for me to know and for you to find out " He teased with his annoying smirk. That smirk had become a permanent image in my head.
"I have no desire to spend my Saturday at an illegal car race or street fight"
"And..."He trailed and picked up my stuffed kitten from my sheets. "You wouldn't have a free Saturday or job anymore if it wasn't for me"
I just glared at him and he sighed.
"I'm not a racer or a street fighter or anything that you think boys who look like me do with their lives. For a girl who doesn't like to be stereotyped, you don't have a problem doing it yourself. "
I kept my mouth sealed and clenched the sweater closer as he got up.
"Now, will you go put some clothes on that pretty little ass of yours? Or will I have to do it myself"
He took intentional slow steps towards me, and instead of moving, I just stood there. When my mouth finally felt like working again, I wished it had stayed shut.
"Halt! " I shouted like some stupid medieval guard.
My cheeks burnt with embarrassment as he stopped and regarded me strangely, but with a bit of amusement in his green eyes. I tried to redeem myself, but failed once again.
"If you come closer I will knock you out with my morning breath"
Morning breath? Really Jamie? Did I just threatened to knock him out with my breath?
However, instead of laughing, he just smirked wider at me and continued with his steps.
"A little morning breath never stopped me before.."
And with that, I bolted into the bathroom and shut the door. I heard him laughing on the other side, and I saw that it was just his plan to get me moving.
I gazed at my reflection in the mirror and almost gagged at how I looked.
Let's just say, my 'this is how I woke up' look wasn't the best. My hair was all messy and wild, there was dried drool at the side of my mouth and there were small eye boogers matted in my eyelashes.
Cameron saw this and he was just acting so normal? Now I knew for sure that he only saw me as a friend and nothing more. As it should be. Just like Alex. My morning face or any face at all never bothered Alex.
I took my time showering and fixing up myself. I braided my hair to the side and stretched out to grab my clothes from the rack that they were normally placed on, but only a purple sweater sat there.
I wrapped myself in a towel and eased my way back inside the bedroom. Cameron eyes caught mine immediately, and he gave me a once over before his smirk returned.
"Nice outfit. Ready to go? "
I decided not to acknowledge him, as I went to my closet to grab some clothes. I clenched onto the towel for dear life, as if it would betray me any moment and I heard a snicker from behind me.
Why did I even let him stay inside here?
"If you hold on any tighter you might just tear the thing to shreds and defeat the whole purpose"
I huffed and pulled a black skater dress from my closet before facing him.
"Don't you have anything better to do than annoy me? "
"Nope" He said, popping the p.
"Occupy yourself with your phone, or go talk to Alex since you guys are basically besties now"
He tapped his finger against his chin and looked at the ceiling as if he was thinking. Then he sighed dramatically and leaned back in my bed.
"Nah. I'm good"
I simply rolled my eyes and collected my bra and panties before going back to the bathroom connected to my room.
"You can change here if you want. I wont look" He shouted after me, actually making me laugh.
"Nice try" I sang as I closed the door.
A thought came to mind and I smiled as I made a crack in the door and pushed my head out. "While you're at it, make my bed will you? "
I smiled sweetly as his face morphed into frustration, and I closed the door with a chuckle when I heard him groan. I knew it wasn't an easy duty. I'm a tornado in bed.
For some reason I applied mascara and lipgloss after I finished getting ready, and I actually liked how I looked. If I had done a before and after, the comparison would've been drastic.
I repacked my appliances before putting them away and ventured back to the bedroom where my bed was neatly fixed with Cameron sitting on the edge and looking over my calender.
I had just noticed that he looked freshly showered, and was wearing one of Alex's 'sleepover outfits'. Alex had this stack of clothes that he bought just incase his friends unintentionally stayed over, since he had a thing about other people wearing his clothes.
Maybe I got away with borrowing some of his shirts because I'm a girl, but he had this strange thing about his friends and his clothes. Weird, but everyone has that one incomprehensible thing about them.
"I'm ready" I chirped annoyed, since he only seemed to notice my presence when I'm not fully clothed.
His eyes shot to me and he smiled genuinely, looking me over before meeting my eyes again.
"You look great" He said and my chest did a little biddy bop bop.
"Thanks. You ready to go? "
"Great. I'll just go grab my purse" I told him as I stepped over one of my stuffed friends that was sitting on the floor.
"This is what you use to track your... "
"Period? " I finished with an amused smile. I could never understand why it's so hard for guys to say the damn word. "Yep. Though it's never right"
"Maybe that's because you're off track"
I stopped rummaging through the things on my desk to look at him. "What do you mean? "
He gestured for me to come sit beside him, and he pointed at the dates I had circled.
"This was the day we met so it was the first day, right? " I nodded slowly as he continued. "But this was the day you marked" I nodded again as he showed me the date two days after.
"When I counted back to last month's date, it's 27 days. But you had it as 29 days. You just had your cycle all wrong"
I scrunched my eyebrows at the small spiral calender as I thought about it. How did I never see that?
"For real look. Even when I go back to the earlier months, it's always off by a day or two. Hence my conclusion" He ended and handed me the calender. I looked up to meet his eyes, both embarrassed and impressed.
"How do you know all of this? " I asked astonished. He simply shrugged looking unbothered.
"I paid attention in sex ed"
I scoffed. "No doubt"
"You're so behind time too. Why don't you just use an app like normal teenaged girls?"
I faked a hurt face as I tried to come up with an excuse. I really had no clue why I didn't, and couldn't think of a reason either. He just chuckled lightly and pulled his phone out.
"I'll help you track it from now on" He casually said as he opened a menstrual calender app on his phone.
On. His. Phone.
He didn't even look bothered that he was a boy with a very solely feminine app.
"Care to explain why you have that? "
He shrugged. "I used to use it to keep track on this girl I used to hang out with. So, you know, I could know when to hang out"
I looked even more confused and he stopped to look at me when I didn't reply.
"You know" He started slowly. "So I can know when to hang out.."
He watched me as if there was something that I should understand behind his words. But I didn't.
"What does her period have to do with hanging out? " I asked like he wasn't making any sense. Which he wasn't for a matter of fact.
It was his time to watch me confusedly, then he just chuckled and shook his head before looking back at his phone, not even answering my question.
"Andddd that's your date"
He handed his phone to me as I peered at the date that was totally off by a couple days on my calender. I decided to wait and see, and if this worked I'd get the app too.
"Um, thanks." I mumbled, handing him back his phone. "I never thought I'd see the day a boy fixed my menstrual problems"
"What can I say? I'm the saviour of all women"
"You're an ass" I laughed.
"An ass that fixed your menstrual problems"
"Why are we even having this conversation? This is so weird"
I found myself laughing loudly at that, and Cameron didn't contain his either. Indeed, it was a very weird situation, and we both were too comfortable for my liking.
"It's how our friendship sorta started. It will always be there so why not embrace it?"
I cringed at his words as the memory from that night replayed in my head. "Maybe if its timing wasn't that awful we would've went on with sleeping together and you'd disappear from my life forever"
I didn't know what was worse. Sleeping with a totally stranger at a frat party, or not being able to go along with it because my period stopped us.
I didn't miss the frown that curved on his lips as he fiddled with his hand.
"You think I would've just pulled up and disappear out of your life forever? " He asked in a low careful voice.
"I think you would've found who I came with, dump me off then disappear from my life forever"
I looked in his eyes as I ended, seeing how they swirled with emotions. They were screaming contradicting statements silently at me, but he didn't address what I said; even though it looked at if he wanted to.
"Do you regret it? " He asked instead.
I pursed my lips in thought as I thought about how we met and our friendship thereafter. When I was sure I had the right and honest answer, I told him.
"The way we met? A little. But meeting you overall? Not one bit"
I was relieved when his frown morphed into a smile and he pulled me into a side hug while we sat on my bed. Our first sorta hug thingy.
"Me neither" He muttered, and I felt all warm inside.
I suddenly knew why our almost kiss last night felt like such a big deal to me. Sitting there, with his arms around my shoulders and my head on his, with his voice soft and gentle instead of teasing and annoying. I understood. And it scared the shit out of me.