The Life I never Imagined

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So I told my boss that I was preggies and to my surprise he was cool with it and he said I could continue with my job and I got hired permanently. Could life get any better? My brother’s party was great and he and I were closer than ever, must be the baby growing inside of me. Mom called me every day to check on her grandchild and to make sure that I wasn’t depressed or whatsoever. I was now 8 months preggies and Miso’s family was more loving and welcomed me with open arms except Aya of cause, like I said, she said I was trying to trap Miso with a baby and wanted the Bess money. Miso was serious with school because now he had no choice but to finish his studies and get a well-paying job and be able to take care of his child. I didn’t know the gender yet and I didn’t want to know it. I had

gotten myself with the help of my parents a 3-bedroom house in a nice neighbourhood and a stay in nanny. Yes, I was pregnant but I was not about to live with a boyfriend now. it just ruins things and I’m not ready for the constant fighting and stuff even though we’ve been arguing a lot lately. I don’t know, I feel like he’s distant from me. its December and soon I’ll be leaving for Christmas. Ivy was here and we were sitting watching tv together.

Her: so how does it feel being pregnant?

Me: I’m enjoying it actually. I thought I’d be depressed and hate it but I’m loving it. having to feel my little one kick, its beautiful Her: Lala

Me: yeah?

Her: please don’t be mad

Me: when you start a sentence like that then best believe I will be mad She played with her fingers

Me: Yvette what’s going on?

Her: you need a nanny and Ester is available

I chuckled. She was joking right? that woman failed being a mother to me and her, what makes her think that she’s going to be a good nanny to my child?

Her: hear me out please

I was looking at her waiting for an explanation or whatever bull that was going to come out of her mouth

Her: look she’s taking her meds and the Chemo is working and she has changed for the better Lala. Please just give her a chance

Me: Ivy I’m pregnant and I don’t want to pop

early. Please leave before I say something that

will ruin our sisterhood

Her: Red come on

Me: NO Yvette. That woman is the source of my pain, she broke me, she made me do despicable things with men old enough to be

my father. She didn’t give a damn how that made me feel just as long as she gets paid and we get to have food on the table. She wanted to pimp you out Yvette and because of me she didn’t. she was willing to sell her own daughter just to get a few bucks but I begged her to use me instead. I can’t believe you want me to forgive that woman. I cannot believe that you would want that woman to be my child’s nanny. I will die before she goes anywhere near my baby. God you’re unbelievable you know that? Maybe I should have just let her do as she pleased with you because then maybe you wouldn’t be taking what I went through for you so lightly.

She was now in tears and I was breathing so heavily I even had a sharp pain in my heart. I feel like I sheltered Yvette so much to a point where she doesn’t understand how life works. She wouldn’t be the person she is now had I not

sheltered her and protected her from her own mother. I should have let her be then maybe she wouldn’t be speaking like this. so many times I have let Yvette walk all over me because she’s younger than me and I wanted her to grow up differently from me but instead it made her a brat.

Her: so this is how you really feel?

Me: I used to ask myself every night why your mother hated me so much because I never did anything to her not even once. She used you to get to me, she knew I wouldn’t let her do anything to you. She knew that I would spare my life for you. Do you know that she once threatened to take you out of that boarding school? Did you know that Tobias had to pay her 200k just so she could leave you and I alone? Of cause you wouldn’t know because to you your mother is sick and her sickness suddenly makes her an angel.

Her: No. you lying. She would never

Me: so many nights she threatened to use you when I complained about being tired or whatsoever but she always knew in the back of her mind that she would never use her own daughter. You think I don’t know that later on when she thought I was sleeping she would sneak into your room and feed you and tell you not to tell me?

She shook her head

Me: please just leave

She was crying uncontrollably and I had a few tears of my own. I got up and went to my room and locked my door and sat on the floor. When you’ve had enough, you’ve had enough. I was startled by my phone ringing and I knew very well that it was either mom or Miso’s mom or Miso himself, they are the ones that don’t stop calling me. I didn’t move an inch and little one couldn’t stop kicking. I buried my face in my

hands and just cried, I couldn’t do this anymore, I’ve bottled up so much that I just can’t anymore. In my crying I ended up sleeping on the floor and was woken up by Miso banging on my door such that I heard the key trying to push my key out of the key hole. I didn’t respond Him: Buttercup open this door I kept still

Him: Baby Mama please just open

I couldn’t help but giggle. That’s what he called me sometimes and it always tickled me. I helped myself get up and then opened the door for him and he pulled me in for a bone crushing hug

Him: I’ve been worried sick. You weren’t answering any of our calls. Your mom called me panicking and so did Yaya

Me: Miso I’m fine

I said struggling to get out of his arms and he let me.

Him: you’ve been crying. What’s going on?

Me: Misokushle I’m fine!

I snapped and he raised an eyebrow. I was not about to apologise at all. He needs to stop fussing. I walked to the bed and he followed behind me like a lost puppy Him: Buttercup talk to me please

Me: I feel like I’m losing you. I don’t know to what or to who but you not here anymore. You not mine anymore

Him: Buttercup you’ll never lose me

Me: then I must be seeing things or feeling things. You hardly ever call like you used to, you visit me once a day and that’s it and when you here it’s like you just here for the sex and then you leave. Is there someone else in your life Miso?

Him: what? NO. I’d never cheat on you Buttercup

Me: then? What’s going on?

Him: I’ve just been caught up with work that’s all. There is no other woman

Me: and the night you came here smelling of


Him: what?

Me: I love you but I cannot compete with a none pregnant girl who can do all the things I can’t do in bed

Him: Buttercup there is no other woman. The other night I met up with Aya and her friend Kelly that’s all. I would never disrespect you like that. You have to believe me

He was even pleading with his eyes. Maybe I’m overreacting. Whenever we spoke back when we were still trying to get to know each other he would tell me about the stuff his father put his mom through when they were still dating and he vowed to himself to never be like him. Derrick Bess used to be a player and even when he was with Miso’s mom he cheated on her multiple

times and Yaya forgave him multiple times. Miso begged me that if he ever cheated on me I shouldn’t stay with him because he never wants to see me in that pain knowing that he was the one behind my tears.

Him: Buttercup I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ve been distant, work has me by the balls but I promise you I’ll make things right

I just nodded. He pulled my hands and then kissed my forehead.

Him: I’ll make things right

He pulled me to his chest and God Damn his cologne was doing the things in all the wrong and right places. I pulled away from his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck pulling his face closer to mine

Me: I really want to have sex with you right now He chuckled

Him: I’m loving pregnant Buttercup

I pulled his hair and he giggled and kissed me. Felt like I hadn’t had him in ages and yet I saw this guy just yesterday. We made our way to bed and we did what lovers do and he cuddled me till I fell asleep.

Voice: if only you weren’t this stubborn independent obsessed sexy mama I would pop the question right now but knowing you, you’ll probably say no and I’m afraid of being rejected by you. I wouldn’t be able to handle such from you.

I kept quiet. I wasn’t dreaming at all, Miso was brushing my hair and talking to me thinking I’m asleep. Why would he want marriage now? We way too young and there’s no rush.

Him: I love you so much and I would never do anything to jeopardise what you and I have. That night I came smelling of another woman is because Mia was helping me look for the perfect rock but I couldn’t tell you that because

knowing you(chuckles) you would probably throw a fit about that too.

He kissed the top of my head. This guy was doing the things. I was holding back tears because I didn’t want him to know I was awake. So I kept quiet and listened but he didn’t go on. Instead he tried to slide of the bed without alarming me and he succeeded. He walked out of the bedroom and I tried to go back to sleep until he woke me up about an hour or two later with a plate of my fave. The smell was divine. My man can cook ya’ll!

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