I had the most perfect family, I guess... My Mom and Dad were happily inlove with each other. No misunderstandings, no wars. I can say it was totally PERFECT.
But that 'thought' changed. Because my parents changed. The perfect family I dreamed had gone, because my mom caught my dad cheating. That was 13 years ago, the start of my oh-so-called unlucky life.
My mom got hurt. Who wouldn't be? In the span of time that they were together, she thought she's the only one, but she was wrong. Definitely wrong. Because my Dad still cheated. She gave my father a second chance. I thought the 'perfect family' I hoped will be back. But no... Dad cheated again. Not just once, or twice, or thrice. He cheated so many times.
Mom got hurt again. She gave up. They broke up. She left us, no, she left me. I'm begging her to take me because I want to come and be with her but she didn't listen to me. She left me there, in my Dad's house.
For pete's sake, I was just 5 years old back then! A 5-year-old girl that needed a complete family and a mother that will heal me whenever I'm sick, that will prepare my food whenever I'm about to go to school, that will take a good care of me like what other mom's do.
I don't just hate Dad, I also hate my Mom.
After some unlucky things that happened to me, at a young age, I learned how to party. I learned how to drink. I also got a boyfriend that time. I trusted him because I thought he's different from the other guys but that 'thought' disappoint me again.
I saw him with another girl. They looked so fucking happy. I can see in both of their eyes how in love they are to each other. And because I'm a bitch, I made a scene. I was like, the fuck? Am I the villain of your fucking love story? Am I? I was so mad. So so mad. Everyday, I'm asking myself why all of this happened to me. I felt like I don't deserve to be happy at all.
Can't I be happy? Am I not allowed to feel happiness?
I cried. A lot. No one was there for me, no one comforted me. I don't have friends to cry on. I don't have a mother. I took all those pain by myself.
I already gave my trust and love for someone. But I just received pain in return.
That's why my impression on guys changed. Because boys are boys.
Since that day, I promised to myself not to trust again, to anyone, anymore. I promised not to let anyone to have a chance to hurt me again. I promised not to cry anymore. I promised not to be weak. I promised not to let anyone ruin me and destroy me. Because I'm now stronger than ever they thought I'd be.
Today's my birthday but I think it doesn't matter anymore. I didn't bother to celebrate it. With whom I'll be celebrating? With my Dad and his new girl? No fucking way.
I'm 18 years old now, but still I won't change. Never in my plan to change. I'm fine on what I am. The strong and badass Lianne Anika Lim. That's who I am. The bad girl.