Was, Is and Will be
It’s strange how life is made. Sometimes I wish I could do something else than what I’m already doing, for what? Just because I’m afraid of waking up the next morning to find all that I’ve worked for is gone and will never come back. Some things are issues for me and some are not…
“Lilly! I hate the house it’s so, so, ugly!”
“Bridgess… How many times have you told me this already?” replied the voice on the other end of the phone.
“I hate that place… Lily, my curfew is at 7 pm!! While the rest of the house keeps it lit longer than me…” I told her, outraged.
“My point exactly!” I said, lying on my stomach on my bed.
I heard the door open and close.
“Lily! I’ve got to go, but it’s still on for Wednesday night?” I asked her quickly.
“Bridgess… I’m not sure you should –“
I cut her, hearing footsteps coming up the stairs that lead to my room.
“Ok, I’ll see you then! Bye! “ I hung up and hid the phone under my pillow.
I sat up and took my math binder open on my lap with a pencil and pretended to be studying. When the door opened, I saw Mrs Christie. She was wearing her ugly flower dress. It came down to her fat knees. Her hair was wilder than the Amazonian forest. I looked up at her.
“Hello Mrs Christie. “ I said politely, smiling and greeting her like they wanted me to.
“What have you been doing while we were off?” She asked me, not so politely.
“Homework, math actually. See?” I showed her my book.
“That’s where you were when we left, three hours ago…” She said, eyeing me.
“I’ve been… stuck there…” I tried.
Then, to add to my misery, the phone rang. I stiffen as Mrs Christie came to my bed and took the phone from under my pillow. She was angry.
“What did I say, Bridgess, when you first arrived here?” she asked, flashing the phone in front of my eyes.
“No seeing friends, no boyfriends, lights out at 7, no phoning friends…”I started the enumerate randomly.
“Exactly!” She said dryly.
“OW!” I screamed as she grabbed my ear and dragged me up to my feet.
“You broke all of those rules!! I am calling the social service and they will come and get you out by Wednesday.” She spit out, literally.
She finally let go. I wanted so much to give care to my ear but I resisted the temptation to do so in front of her, not to make things worst. That would be worst for me.
I stood straight, looking back at her.
“What do you have to say in your defense?” she asked, her face red as a tomato.
My mind was rushing, I couldn’t stop myself from saying it, and it cost me.
“I deserve more!” I screamed at her before gasping, realizing too late my own mistake.
A bad idea. A very bad idea. Realizing what I had said, I put a hand over my mouth. Her face turned purple in anger. I backed up until I felt the wall in my back.
She slapped me so hard I fell to the floor. The metallic taste slowly came in my mouth. My lip was bleeding inside but I wasn’t sure about the outside. I put my hands on the floor and sat myself up. My head was spinning. I brought a hand to my mouth and wiped it. I brought it back and found a little bit of blood on my fingers. I stared at it and before I knew it, I was screaming.
That’s always what happens. This family wasn’t my first foster home, in the first one, I met a girl that was beaten all the time, she was like me, orphan. The father was violent. Since then I’ve been afraid of blood. At the sight of it, I lose control and track of everything around me. I would scream, kick and punch whoever came near me or was in the way.
I‘ve been running away from my foster homes since the first one. This first house was dirty like you wouldn’t believe it possible. It took three days before the local police found me and brought me back to the foster home center while they were looking for a better house for me. Before the Christie, there had been the Andoman, the Mickmie and the Klincton. The Christie never really handled my moments of hysteria and scenes. They were a violent family.
I started to scream like I was on fire, alerting the whole house. Everyone ran upstairs. The mother shooed her kids away and left while her husband tried to calm me down. I felt a sharp pain in my wrist. The pain is what brought me back for a second before I blacked out.
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