I stared blankly at my father, his girlfriend standing next to him, both showing rounds of excitement on their faces. "Congrats," I yelled and put on a face of happiness. I hugged my dad, he had been through so much in the past three years that I couldn't imagine how he felt.
I looked over at my seven-year-old brother who looked like he was ready to cry, my four-year-old sister confused about what was happening.
My brother took off running, not caring that the others had seen him. I turned back to my dad, watching his smile fall.
"I'll go get him, its a lot for him to process," I said to my dad and kissed him on the cheek.
"Justin," I called for my brother on the other side of his room door.
"Go away Haven," He yelled. I could tell that he was upset. I opened the door softly and closed it behind me.
"She's replacing mom!" He yelled into his pillow. He was only four when mom had died but her memory was still fresh in his mind.
"She's not going to replace mom," I told him as I sat down on his bed.
"How do you know?" He asked. I rubbed his back, thinking through my answer.
"Well, because I know. I know that she is nothing like our mom. You don't have to call her mom, and you most certainly don't have to do anything that you don't want too." I told him.
"But I'll have to live with her," He said through his sobs as he turned into my chest. I nodded my head. "I know darling," I said in a soothing voice.
I felt tears prick the back of my eyes before I pushed them away. I didn't get to cry right now. "But," I said. "You will have more brothers," I told him, referring to the four boy's that she had on her own. Quadruplets if I remember correctly.
"I don't want anymore siblings," He told me. I took his chin gently in my index finger and tilted his head up to look at me. "
I know, I don't either." I whispered before kissing the top of his head.
"But, they won't live there forever, and they won't most certainly have any authority over you," I told him. It was all about control.
In the last three years I had taken over the role of mom. Being only fourteen at the time of my mothers passing had placed pressure on me with a four-year-old brother and a one-year-old sister. My dad working overtime to provide for us, he had only gotten a break when he started dating Savannah, whom he had met on a business trip.
"I don't want to go back out there," He whined. I nodded.
"That's okay," I told him. "I'll just tell them that you decided to go to bed," I added and left him, closing his door on my way out. I took a deep breath before returning to the dining room.
"I'm sorry for Justin's reaction," I told Savannah, "He hasn't coped properly with our mothers death, he's sleeping now," I told her. I noticed that Amberly, my five-year-old sister had chocolate smeared on her face. I walked over to the kitchen, just a few feet away from the dining room, coming back with a wet washcloth.
"I know that this will be a hard adjustment for you four," She said referring to my siblings and my father, "But I know that you will all settle very well in Seattle," I froze, mid-wiping my sisters face.
"Move to Seattle?" I questioned, looking over to my fathers face, resuming to wipe my sisters face.
Savannah covered her mouth, her eyes widening with surprise.
"You were going to find out soon anyway," My father said, holding in anger as he clenched his jaw.
"I'm sorry, I assumed that you had told her," Savannah said as she took a sip. "I planned to in a moment." He told her. I picked up Amberly.
"I'm going to get Amberly ready for bed and then we can talk again," I told them. Savannah nodded well my dad sent a glare my way. I noticed that his glass of wine sat full and I let out a sigh of relief. He hasn't had a drink in six months. I did hope that it stayed that way.
After putting Amberly in bed and turning on her lullaby music I quietly shut the door. My anxiety creeping up. My pills were running out.