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Sometimes I wish life had a replay button. So I could erase all the mistakes I made. So I could experience the sweet things in life once more. So I could have lived my life for just one extra day.

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Still Alive.


This is not a diary, no. Atleast, I wish I could write in a diary now. But I can't. Why?

Because I'm in a coma. A deep one.

Haha, it sounds so serious when I say it like that. But the irony, it actually is. My mom and the doctor keep talking about my condition in front of me. They don't know that I can still hear them. It's funny actually. Listening to how I might die any minute...

It's not like have much to lose even if I leave right now. I didn't have a proper job. I didn't have a bunch of friends who I would party with every Friday. I didn't have a good love life. Not a decent reputation to withhold. I don't even have a father.


I did experience all of them, I did. But I have never actually had a job, a friendship, or love actually last.

Ha, if I did have someone who cares for me other than my mom, maybe then I would've actually shed tears before I die.

But I'm not one to complain. I never really cried when my stepfather passed away. But it still bugs to think that my mom was going to be all alone again when I'm gone.

Well, life isn't fair. And there's nothing we can do about it.

I want to ask my mom if she was going to remarry again once I'm gone. But I can't. And that's sad. Because she can't understand the signs I try to give her.

Well, at least I can look forward to visiting my father and step father once I'm gone. It will be awkward, won't it?

Well, let's not think about that now. I just want to relax, and think back on why I don't have anything to lose right now.

After all, all of this could have been my mistake.

Or theirs. I don't know. I've always had the "I am always right" attitude. Ugh. I hate admitting that, but it's true.

I can hear my mom talking to the doctor right now. But it's not audible. Ah. It's better that way, I guess.

She's been sitting with me in my bedroom for almost a year. Jeez, mom. Go out and have relax for a bit. Stop clinging on me too much. Then you're gonna cry when I leave.

Well, I also did think the other way.

She's here, sacrificing everything for me. And she's in this situation because of me, isn't she?

I really am the cause for all this, huh?

She has a co worker. Daniel. He's a good guy, and he's been trying to win my mom's heart for almost two years now. He's pretty fun to hang out with, but I always told mom, "Don't go out with him, he's not father material for me."

But now that I'm going to leave in a few months, So I don't think that's a problem.

Argh, I really wanna tell my mom to marry him.

But I can't.

I get it. I've ruined a few people's lives.

So let me divert my thoughts for now.

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Further Recommendations

huriya089: I think the author has displayed a very good understanding of the characters and I am thoughrly enjoying reading this

fakeunicorn1: I would recommend this book to anyone that loves romance, erotica and a little bit of heartbreak. (The usage of language was top tier too.)As an happy ending addict it has one of the best endings however I would have liked to read a little bit more about the pregnancy time. I am sad that this end...

Tumalano: The book is amazing 😌

Chimwemwe Makowa: Winnie you are the best

Nuhaa: Would recommend everyone to read. Such a lovely book

aaparnapandey: Such a roller-coaster ride..but amazing I cried my heart out such an emotional journey Very good

Imma: It was great. The best novel I have seen here so far.👍👍

adrianamartinez088: Good plot that was face paced but still allowed for character development. Can’t go wrong with anything written by this author!

Columbine Pirouette: Great story!👍👍

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lmurray01234: It was drawn out nicely

Peter: Good story line very good characters all round, well done fights, good but ot mushy love story. The author seems to be Good.

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