You're breaking up with me?
The first day during this week I’ve actually felt happy waking up here.
I allowed my thumb to trace over my lips, memories of the unexpected, heated moment Liam & I shared last night come flooding back. Skilled lips made my inexperienced ones swell in the most delicious way.
“what’s wrong with you this morning, you’re acting weird.” Tia asked whilst rubbing a towel through her wild curls.
She didn’t know about my midnight dip with Liam let alone how Liam stole my first real kiss under the natural glow of the moonlight. I wanted to keep it that way. Tia would make a big deal of it and would jump to conclusions, I didn’t need her filling my mind with that. Deep down I knew the kiss probably meant nothing to Liam, he does this with girls all the time. I shrugged Tia’s accusation off as being tired and thankfully she seemed to buy it.
Coach had the team really go at it during this mornings practice, the tournament is tomorrow and it’s a pretty important one because if they win then they can play in the next one. At the start of the week everyone was partying and barely made it through their practices. As the week went on they seemed to straighten themselves out and today the effort they put in was inundating.
A thin layer of frost sprinkled across the grass but most of the team had their shirts off, attracting the attention of the cheerleaders who were about the only athletes slacking today. Liam wore his red jersey like it guarded his heart and soul but his hair was soaked with sweat, every now and again he would run his fingers through it and it pained me to know he looked this good when hot and bothered.
I think everyone was pleased when coach blew his whistle to end practice. Tia & I jumped up off the bench and started gathering up the soccer balls that lay in different areas of the pitch. Out of my side vision I could see Liam hovering sheepishly. He was rubbing his neck and chewing up the inside of his lips, he looked nervous. He picked up a soccer ball and brought it over to me.
“Hi” he said, trying to act casual, anyone else would buy it but not me.
“Hi” I replied, taking the soccer ball off him and dumping it in my net bag.
“About last night...” he started, and I already knew what he was going to say before the words left his lips. “You know it doesn’t mean we are dating, right?”
Wait, Liam actually questioned if I would be naive enough to think that? He looked really nervous like he was ripping a bandaid off a small child and it made me want to toy with him so I threw on a sad expression and looked Liam dead in the eyes.
“You’re breaking up with me?”
Silence grew louder between us as Liam froze on the spot, paled slightly and stuttered to form his next sentence, this is a completely different Liam than I’ve seen so far. I’m not sure he quite knew how to react. His hand reached up to rub the back of his neck again, I’m pretty sure redness was appearing on the surface of his skin.
“Liv... It was just ... a kiss. A bit of fun... I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done it, I knew you were inexperienced and would read too much into it. I can’t... I don’t date girls.”
I burst out laughing at his panicked response, I wanted to keep it up longer but I just couldn’t. Liam quickly realized I was playing him, picked up another soccer ball and launched it at me.
“Fuck. You’re such a dick sometimes.” He chuckled out, shaking his head in disapproval.
“Who knew Liam cared enough about my feelings to let me down gently.” I teased through stifled laughter.
“Stop it you’ll ruin my street cred.” He wore that beautiful smile on his face that made my insides clench.
“You stink go get a shower.” I reached out and shoved his shoulder away playfully. On impact Liam flinched and stepped backwards out of my reach. Every muscle in his upper body was visibly tense and that smile melted off his face. He blinked away the darkness that threatened to swallow him whole and rebuilt himself in front of me.
“You coming?” he finally managed to spit out.
“To the showers? I looked confused but I could see my question lightened the atmosphere between us. He raised his eyebrows up and down in a suggestive manner with that cocky smile lighting up his face. A complete turn around from moments ago.
“If you want, but I was more meaning to the diner for that fry up.” he replied.
We sat in some small town diner filling a huge table right in the center of the room. The jocks sat on one end, the cheerleaders on the other and then Tia & I opposite each other in the middle. I don’t know why I agreed to this, surrounded by all of these people put me so far out of my comfort zone I wasn’t sure if I would ever find my way back in.
A really old waitress came up to our table, she was retirement age but wore a tiny uniform that showcased wrinkled arms and legs. Her grey hair remained pinned back in, trapped inside a hairnet and she wore bright red lipstick messily on her lips.
“The usual boys?” She said with a cold smile and not one boy objected to her offer. “11 fry ups, 11 cokes” she popped out her pink tongue a little as she scribbled on her small notepad. “And you girls, the same?” The girls nodded in agreement and the old lady continued “Fantastic, 12 strawberries and pancakes, hold the pancakes. 12 waters.”
I glanced at Tia who looked as perplexed as me, strawberries and pancakes - without the pancakes. So just a bowl of strawberries? Tia interrupted the grey haired lady as she collected up the menus, assuming our order was in with the girls.
“Uh.. we haven’t ordered Ma’am.” she gestured across the table towards me. “I’ll have strawberries and pancakes WITH the pancakes.”
The waitress scribbled some more and then looked up at me with expectant eyes, everyone was looking at me with expectant eyes and I felt a lot of pressure. I wanted a fry up, a big greasy, unhealthy fry up but I felt like it was wrong to order that. I suddenly felt like whatever I ordered would be judged by all of these people. The girls would think that I was greedy and fat, the boys would think it’s unattractive for a girl to polish off so much food.
“Miss?” The lady encouraged.
“I’ll have the fry up.” I quickly looked down at my fingers feeling my face burn with heat.
The table resumed chatter around me as if nobody was really that bothered with my breakfast choice. I was seated at a table with twenty four other people and to outside onlookers Tia & I looked included, but in reality nobody spoke to us or made efforts to include us in their personal conversations. The jocks spoke about soccer and partying, the cheerleaders spoke about boys and makeup. Tia & I said chewed in silence, afraid to engage in our own conversation because we didn’t feel comfortable with so many ears listening.
“You know, I’ve slept with every girl on this table besides you two?” Zak leaned in towards us and whispered even though his girlfriend was a few chairs away. “You wanna fix that?” His face was serious and I don’t think he was joking.
“No thank you.” I glanced at Natasha but she was too involved in her self-righteous conversation to be listening to anything Zak was saying.
“You’ve slept with every girl on this table?” Tia questioned looking interested, I don’t know why.
Zaks lips curved up into a slow smile knowing he’s peaked Tias curiosity. “Yeah Tashas my girlfriend so obviously we’ve banged. Louise is my ex. Zoe took my virginity. Ruby is a good fuck, whenever she has an argument with Tash and nobody could refuse Helens boobs. The rest are drunk fucks. Looking for some fresh meat if you’re in?”
He twirled his index finger around one of Tias curls which made her stiffen uncomfortably. “Um, although you’re charming I think I’m going to have to pass.” she shot him down. “so who else has fucked everyone here?”
I was shocked she just directed that question to all of the jocks, why was she so interested in their sex life. I admired her confidence though, she was trying to involve herself in the conversations and pull out all the gossip like the gossip queen she is. The jocks looked up at her in surprise, unknowing that Zak had originally started the topic.
“The girls are so easy, we’ve all had a turn to be honest.” Zak replied.
“I’ve not slept with Chloe, she’s holding out on me.” Jordan joined in.
“Bens in love with Helen but she ’s not interested. Liam has done just about everyone in our grade, piling through them like they are his conquests but never go back for seconds. And these guys, some of them are in long committed relationships, some of them playing the field so they’ve had a bit of this and that.” Zak explained.
I sunk down into my seat because something Zak had said didn’t sit right with me. Did Liam view me as one of his conquests because he had ran out of bodies? Was the kiss last night all part of his plan to lead me on just to get what he wants at the end of it? Did I just become collateral damage on another one of these pranks? I needed to get out of here before my head exploded so I stood up.
“You ok?” Tia shot me a worried look and I sighed knowing I was showing my fears on the outside.
“Yeah, just gotta use the restroom.” I replied giving her my best fake smile.
I splashed cold water on my face to cool down my cheeks as I searched the reflection looking back at me in the mirror for answers that I didn’t have. Two emerald orbs glowed back at me, telling me not to be stupid. One erratic heat thumped through my chest telling me it felt real. I was conflicted, but one thing I knew for sure was that my V-card was staying firmly put zipped up inside my jeans.
Sighing to myself I opened the door and exited the bathroom, noticing Jordan leaning against the wall outside the door. Oh God, here we go.
“Don’t overthink things.” he said bluntly, leaving me confused.
“Don’t overthink what?” I questioned.
Jordan paused for a moment, rubbing his temple. Thinking about his next remark.
“Liam told me about the kiss.”
Was he like, telling everyone now?
“Yeah, course he did. We are bros. We tell each other everything.” Jordan seemed a little taken aback that I even questioned it but he continued “I’m just saying, don’t overthink things.” He turned on his heel and left.
Left me questioning what exactly he meant by that. Don’t overthink the kiss? Because I’m not overthinking it, I know it meant nothing to Liam. I know we’re not dating and I know Liam isn’t in love with me. Or given that Jordan was part of the ‘Liams conquest’ conversation that I was actually currently overthinking, did he mean that?