I'm not nervous
“Wow, you’re exactly on time.”
Six O’clock on the dot Liams at my front door, it was unusual to hear him ring the doorbell for once and not have him come through the back way. I watched him as he reached up and rubbed the back of his neck, he seems so out of place he doesn’t really know what to do with himself.
“Don’t be nervous. Just treat me like one of the guys.” I throw him a reassuring smile.
“I’m not nervous” he deadpans, trying to hide his transparent emotions.
I gesture for him to follow me upstairs to my bedroom and as I rummage through my movie collection his eyes fleet everywhere around my bedroom, taking in the lilac surroundings. He shakes the snow globes on the dresser watching as little flakes of glitter fall delicately inside the glass dome, he picks up the picture of me and my parents and allows his fingers to trace around the white frame, his eyes focus on the Polaroids hanging from fairy lights draped across my walls locking onto one photo booth strip in particular which makes him sigh out loud and rub his fingers through his hair.
“You’re acting like you’ve never been in my room before.” I point out, before he could get sucked into the darkness Harris brings out in him.
He turns his attention towards me “I haven’t really. The past two times I’ve been drunk or ... not in the right frame of mind. This is the first time I’ve seen it properly.”
“What you in the mood for?” I asked turning my attention back to the movies. I hear my drawer open and look up to see what he’s rooting through now.
Racing to my feet I dart over to Liam who’s peeking inside my underwear drawer, feasting his eyes on all of my colourful, lace panties. I slam the drawer shut almost trapping his fingers. I can feel the flush in my face burning up exposing my embarrassment. Liam looks at me with a cocky grin and shakes his eyebrows suggestively.
“You asked me what I was in the mood for.”
“I meant the movies.” I replied with a low tone and deadly stare.
“Anything I don’t mind. Action movie”
He bounced down on my double bed flicking off his shoes and making himself comfortable. I drew the curtains and turned off the lights to give the full cinema affect, then I proceeded to lay myself down next to him really stiffly so I didn’t touch him in any way.
“What are you doing?” His eyes flicker with amusement, lit up by the television screen and a smile tugs at his lips as he watched me oddly get into bed with robotic movements.
“I’m just being careful... you know? ... so I don’t touch you.”
He lets out a slow, sexy giggle and although I enjoy his reaction I’m confused by it. I thought we established he didn’t like to be touched.
“Liv, I’m not going to freak out if you accidentally brush up against me in the bed. You’re allowed to touch me.” He condensed his words like I was being completely insane.
My lips formed a perfect ‘o’ and my eyebrows frowned causing a ‘v’ to form on my forehead. I really wasn’t getting it but he seemed amused and I loved that he looked carefree and full of humor, even if it was at my expense. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, obviously the nerves were creeping in.
“So... I don’t like unexpected touch. I’m fine on the soccer field, the guys are rough as hell but I’m expecting it. I’m fine when I’m ... uh... intimate with a girl, I’m expecting it. When we were in handcuffs, expected it. In bed together, I’m expecting it. It’s just that ...I’m constantly on guard ... like, all the time. When someone unexpectedly grabs me or shoves me it’s unpredictable and my natural reaction is to flinch at the contact or punch them.”
He lost his cool halfway through and started stuttering but I think that’s the most forthcoming he’s ever been willingly, without me asking him for an explanation and I realized that maybe our chat on the beach stuck with him and he was going to try and let me in. I relaxed a little in the bed next to him and focused my attention on Mr & Mrs Smith playing in the background.
We were halfway through the movie when the text tone of his phone went off, he glanced over and viewed the screen. Rolled his eyes and then put the phone back down on the bedside table. A few seconds later it went off again. With a sigh this time he switched the phone to silent. Every few seconds light would flood through the darkness illuminated by the screen of his cell. I could see he was irritated by it but he pretended not to notice the interrupting lights.
“Your phone is blowing up, do you need to get that? They’re persistent, it must be important.”
He looked at me like I had just pointed out something he hadn’t noticed. “They’re persistent alright, but they hold no importance.” he spoke with a cold tone that shut me down immediately.
I turned my attention back to the movie, trying my hardest to shut out the influx of messages he kept receiving. Once the movie had finished I switched on the lights and regarded him as he viewed his text messages. A sly smile stretched on his cocky face as he feasted his eyes on the display in front of him. He looked up to see me staring and the smile drained, replaced with a guilty face, like I had caught a small child doing something naughty.
“I’m staying the night here, right?” before I could reply he peeled off his leather jacket and hung it loosely over one of my bed posts, making himself more comfortable before turning his attention back to his phone.
“Uhh...” I replied, not expecting him to stay the night. The last two times he stayed the night they were unplanned, he wasn’t himself. This time felt different and I wasn’t sure I felt comfortable with that.
“Great! That’s what I thought” his fingers made quick work replying to whoever it was blowing up his phone and then he set it faced down on the desk. So I guess he is staying the night then.
I got the sudden urge to pick up his jacket, it felt really heavy hanging from my grasp. How does he wear this thing all day, every day? A smile tugged my lips as I slipped my arm into the sleeve.
“Woah! Nobody wears the jacket but me.” his attempt to stop me was cute but a little too delayed as I slipped my second arm through the sleeve and shrugged it up onto my shoulders. Appearing in the full length mirror I noticed I wasn’t the only one checking myself out. His blue eyes sparkled with appreciation as I twirled around showcasing the oversized leather jacket that drowned out my curves.
“Let’s take a selfie.” I picked up his phone from the desk and proceeded to unlock it.
“Woah! Don’t touch my phone.” This time he was a little more feisty than he was with the jacket. He yanked it from my hand and guarded it hard, close to his chest.
“Okay, you’re a little bit possessive about your stuff. I wasn’t going to look through your gross nudes anyway.” I teased.
“I don’t have nudes, well of me anyway. You can’t just go through peoples phones, it’s the most personal possession anyone could have. I have a right to my privacy.” His voice wasn’t cold or harsh, it was just informative.
“I was only going to take a selfie” I shrugged.
He rolled his eyes and sighed, keying in something on the screen. In a moment I heard the unlock tone and he handed me the phone back.
“Camera only.” he said and I smiled to myself knowing I had won the battle.
We lay down on the bed and took several selfies, pulling silly faces, cute smiling ones and ones where we tried to make ourselves look as ugly as possible, holding the camera from a downward angle. At the end of our little photo session we were rolling around the bed laughing.
“Upload one” I suggested through stifled laughter.
“I can’t do that! Then my phone really will blow up.” He replied but I could tell he was thinking it over. “I blew off a lot of people tonight, if I upload one it could cause problems for you.” he added, but it was more like a question. I shrugged to let him know I didn’t care. “Okay” He stuck his little pink tongue out of the corner of his mouth as his fingers got to work typing into his phone. I peeled off his leather jacket and placed it carefully back on the bed post. Within seconds his phone screen came to life and showed no signs of simmering down anytime soon.
“Switch it off.” I suggested and he did.
We settled back down in the bed to watch our second movie, The Transporter.