Wake up, get dressed, eat, and then put on a real happy smile. BoMi followed this regimen every morning. Every time she walked into school people would look at her and seem to pick up her positive mood. Always complimenting her, greeting her, even confessing to her. Everything that a girl wanted, looks, vocals, moves, body, she had it all. There was never one time that she didn’t smile, everybody says. They all wished to be like her. Her best friends, ChoRong, HaYoung, NaEun, and NamJoo waited for her in their classroom. As BoMi walked in she heard the high pitched voice of her very first friend, ChoRong. She looked over and saw the elder girl waving for her to come. BoMi cheerfully walked over, “Beautiful as always.” ChoRong complimented, BoMi smiled and thanked her. It was quiet clear that ChoRong had a crush on her. NaEun playfully nudged Chorong. “Come on; don’t act all gay now. Where’d that innocent straight girl image go?”
“I wouldn’t be talking, you and HaYoung have been dating for the last few months.” Chorong retorted smugly.
Who really cares about something like that?
“Don’t be like that, if they love each other than it’s ok.” BoMi smiled at the couple. “Of course an innocent fairy like you would say that.” Namjoo teased.
Shut up… I’m not innocent.
“Jeez.” She lightly slapped NamJoo’s forearm to pretend that she wasn’t irritated inside. The school day finished fast like always. BoMi smiled at everyone she passed, wishing them to be safe, things like that. She walked home, as she entered her small apartment, she remembered, her parents anniversary. She slowly and quietly walked towards a door upstairs. She opened the door, the creaking of the door sounding loud in her ears. She kneeled down in front of her parent’s alter. Many people would celebrate the anniversary of parents getting married. Happy things like that. But not BoMi, instead for her, it was the death of her beloved mom and dad.
IF ONLY YOU WEREN’T BORN! She winced as those harsh words cut through her mind.
Bomi walked up to her dad, giving him the flower crown she had made for him, he smiled at her…
“How time flies, you’re in middle school now.” Her dad said with watery eyes. “Jeez dad, it’s not like it’s the last time your going to see me.” She said with a bright smile….
But her father smiled, he looked sad, what did this mean? Did he know something that BoMi didn’t?
It was mother’s day. She wanted to do something for her mother. She had never hugged or kissed her mom, so she’d be happy if maybe she started doing that now! BoMi waited for mom to come home, she heard the door open, “Happy Mother’s day!” The child ran into her mom attempting to wrap her arms around her beloved mother in a big embraced, but only to be roughly pushed away, she looked up to see her mom giving a look she never saw before. Disgust… hate… why?
8th grade, BoMi walked back home, it was her parent’s marriage anniversary. Excited she ran home. She opened the door. Surprised to find it quiet. Strange, no one was there to greet her like they usually did. She walked up the stairs to see… blood, everywhere, leaking out her parent’s room. Panic rose in her as she broke through to see her dad, gutted, eyes wide but glassy. He was dead.
‘IF ONLY YOU WEREN’T BORN!’ Her mom raised a knife above BoMi’s head. BoMi closed her eyes bracing herself…but pain never came, when she opened her eyes she saw in horror that her mom had stabbed herself. BoMi was now alone.
“No matter what, I want you to smile. You’re prettiest when you do” her dad had said told her with a smile. I’m trying dad. Her vision blurred, tears formed in her eyes. Her throat felt as if something were clogging it up.
Why? Smiling had never hurt this much before…
Why does it hurt so much now?