To The One I Could Have Loved.
There's so many 'what ifs' in life, you know.
There's that theory of the multiverses that I really like, the one that talks about how there's a parallel universe for all the different choices that we make. That every time we make a choice, a new universe is created, and there's infinite parallel universes out there.
I believe there's a universe, where you and I end up together.
It's a universe where I felt that spark and I acted on it instead of runing away because I thought it was too complicated. A universe where I wasn't scared to feel that spark and let it shine brighter. Where I wasn't scared of things going wrong, or things not always lasting forever.
In that universe, I did kiss you that night when you and I got so close that we shared our breath. That night were your hands run through my hair, and you stroked my cheek. That was the night when I saw how much you cared about me. The night I knew you loved me. The night I felt that spark, and I wanted to love you back.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never gave us a chance. I was young, and I was scared. I was too scared to fall for you, I was scared I would love you too much. But what scared me the most, was the chance of me not loving you. What scared me the most, was imagining that multiverse where we did get together, but I couldn't love you enough. The universe where I would break your heart. The universe where we would fall apart.
Truth is, I loved you too much to make you suffer, and that made me scared. That made me run away.
So I just wanted to apologise for never giving you that chance, I know it wasn't fair. You deserved it. You were the best guy I ever laid my eyes upon, you were too good to be true. And I knew when I decided to watch you from afar, that we may end up drifting apart slowly, which we did, but I guess that's the only risk I was willing to take. I thought that was better than breaking your heart.
You will forever be my maybe. The one that could have been. The one that I will never know how much I could have loved.
Your best friend.