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Chapter 36

Early in the morning I heard Brian's voice. I got up from the ledge and walked into the hallway.

"Hello baby girl," it was coming from Alexandria's room. I walked in and saw Brian holding Alexandria and bouncing her around a little.

"What're you doing?" I asked slowly.

Brian responded with the most obvious answer. "Visiting my daughter." He spoke in a happy tone. Alexandria made her little happy noises.

"I meant here." I stated.

"I decided to take a couple days off." He said.

"Well, after seeing you and hanging out, I felt like I was missing the family." Brian started.

"Then I thought we all needed some family time."

"Isn't that right, Alexandria?" He rubbed his nose against her's and she squealed. "Yes it is, we need family time."

It's too early for me to deal with baby-talk.

I turned, "I'm going back to my room."

I sat at the window again, staring at the driveway.

I have nothing to do.

I'm not hungry. Don't have to pee. Could write, but I don't feel like it.

Actually I am hungry, but I'm not going to do anything about it.

"Luc!" Brian called while knocking on my door. "Let's take Alexandria for a walk!"

"You up for it?" He asked.

I went to the door and opened it. Immediately Alexandria was reaching for me.

"I'll go." I stated.

Brian smiled a little. "Okay. Start getting ready."

All I put on was tennis shoes and my hoodie. I'm too lazy to actually get dressed.

Brian commented on my appearance but didn't make me go change.

Brian pushed Alexandria in her stroller as we walked. We didn't speak much. It was mostly silent, Alexandria was "talking." Talking up a storm.

I yawned. So sleepy.

I decided to talk to Brian.

I looked up at the side of his head. "How's Jessica doing?"

Brian glanced at me then looked to the front.

"She's fine. She woke up briefly." He answered.

"Did anyone come for her? Did they catch the guy that did it?" I asked.

"No and no. Unfortunately." He responded.

I lowered my head and watched the asphalt pass.

Brian spoke.

"I think we should go back before Jeanette wakes up and realizes both her children are gone."

I chuckled. She'd go ballistic; especially after yesterday.

We turned around and started to walk back home. We weren't too far away.

Alexandria began to poke her head out from the side of the stoller. When she saw me she grinned a big gummy smile and began to squeal happily while reaching for me.

"We're outside. I'll hold you when we get back home." I thought.

Alexandria whined and whimpered.

"It's okay, Alexandria." Brian said softly.

I sighed lowly and pulled my hood up.

On Wednesday I decided to go to school. Mainly so I wouldn't go to sleep. This was accomplished by walking around the school.

I was out behind the trailers walking close to them. There was an echo in my head, one I couldn't make out. I gave my head a hard shake. I'm so sleepy.

Keep walking.

I sped walked to the wooden walkway and leaned on a guard-rail. I let out a long and deep groan. My stomach is killing me.

I hung my head and stared blankly at the grass in between the guard-rail and trailer. I crossed my leg behind the other and rubbed my hands together.

Am I about to puke? I could. Nah. I think I'll just close my eye for a second.

Don't fall asleep! I opened my eye quickly.

There was a tapping noise that quickly started to irritate me. I looked up and saw two Indras.

I jumped and began to back up, "ah! Fuck!" I hit the other side of the guard-rail.

I squeezed my eye shut and opened it again. The second Indra turned into Evie.

She stopped a couple feet away from me with Indra behind her. "You look terrible."

"Wha? Oh, thank you." Why do I sound out of breath? And why did I say that?

"Not to sound accusatory but, did you take anything?" She asked.

"No." I said innocently.

I leaned over the railing and rested my head on my hands.

"You sure? You look sick." Evie stated. I honestly missed her accent. Her too.

"Yeah, why?" I raised my head.

Indra jumped in and spoke. "Well, for one thing you keep swaying side to side."

"I do?" I hadn't realized. I tried to steady myself.

Evie lowered her head slowly.

She the looked at me. "Um, Luc, about what you said to me last week," she trailed off.

"Yes." I said.

"Please tell me it's not true." She said.

I stood defensively. "What? You don't think a guy can be raped?"

Where did that come from?

"I see we've caught you at a bad time." Indra stated as he took a step back.

"No, no." I waved my hand.

"Yes it's true. I know it, Indra knows it."

"Oh my god." Evie turned to him. "That?" Evie questioned.

"You knew about that and didn't tell me?" She continued.

"It wasn't-"

"You say "wasn't my place" so help me I will kick your ass!" Evie snapped.

I looked at Indra. "You didn't tell her?"

"I didn't want to betray your trust!" Indra said. He threw his hands out. "It was hard enough getting the rest out of you!"

"Fair enough." I crossed my arms.

"Hey-" Evie started.

"Moving on."

"About that, "moving," I was in Seattle. I had to go back to the home." I stated.

"F-Foster home, I mean."

I touched my throat and scratched at it a little.

"So the Narsons weren't your real family?" Evie asked with a tilt of the head.

I timidly shook my head.

"Who exactly raped you, Luc?"

I chuckled in response. No way was I gonna answer that.

"It was just your dad, right?" Indra's voice asked.

My eye widened. Oh shit.

Don't answer him, Luc.

"Your dad?" Evie questioned. She puked in her mouth. I lowered my head. "He did it?"

"That's terrible." She whimpered. "Is that why you shot him?"

"What?!" I snapped.

Evie took a step back.

"I didn't shoot anybody." I said. She's really starting to piss me off.

"Oh." Evie squeaked.

She was almost cowering on Indra.

"Okay! Okay!" I waved my hands quickly. "So what happened that day was like usual. Until Winn shot Chet and he burned-" I cut myself off.

"Yeah. Winn shot Chet." I said.

"Why?" Evie asked. "Why would your brother shoot your dad?

"And why would your dad-"

"He's not my dad!" I shouted loudly. Evie jumped.

"Okay." She tried to calm me down. "Why would they do that?"

My hand flung to the side. "He was out of control that day! There was no stopping him." I said.

"He even..." I reached up and touched my eye.

"Oh." Indra whispered.

"He what? Tell us." Evie urged.

"It's not important." I shook my head.

"After that...well I was a bit, like I said earlier, catatonic."

"I couldn't move or speak."

"But that's over now." I finished.

I looked at Evie. She had a blank gaze with a frown. Indra stared blankly.

"...It doesn't make any sense; why would they-"

"It doesn't have to." I raised my voice. "Things like that just happen."

"I used to get beaten and tossed around like a rag doll. And for what? No reason." I was feeling sick to my core. I wanted to leave.

I turned my head and looked at the door leading inside the building. It won't be long until it's time to go.

"Why didn't you contact us?" Evie then asked. Is she serious?

I looked at her and narrowed my eye.

"I mean, you eventually got up and moving right?" She asked.

I nodded slowly. "I did."

"It took a while. And I was too late."

"What do you mean?" Indra asked.

"I'd assumed you guys had moved on."

"Really I was afraid to. I wouldn't know how to answer your questions. No. I didn't want you to know about my past."

Guess it's all out there now, huh?

"We were your friends; you thought we would move on so easily?!" Evie questioned.

I stepped back.

"No we wouldn't, and we didn't. We kept waiting for you." She said.

"I'm having a hard time understanding," Evie changed the subject.

Indra leaned forward. "What's not to understand?"

"You guys all just seemed so...perfect."

I growled and got in her face. "Shut up you naïve little bitch!" Her eyes widened in fear as I seethed. Always! She always thought I was the stereotypical perfect guy with the perfect family.

Indra's hand touched my forehead and he pushed me. I hit the guard-rail and slid to the floor. What the hell? That was a hard push.

I looked up at him. I rubbed my neck.

"Don't." Was all he said. I scowled.

I slowly rose to my feet.

"Don't hurt him." Evie whispered to Indra.

"Ow, shit." I thought. I rubbed my back as it throbbed.

"Don't touch me again." I growled at Indra.

"Then don't get in her face." He responded.

Evie pointed at my head. "You both scrambled to cover it up. What happened to your eye?"

"Don't matter. What's done is done." I said.

"Please tell me he was arrested." She begged.

I watched Indra shift. He looked bothered, almost angry.

"Of course he was."

"What about the rest of them?" She asked.

"I don't know."

Evie tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"How could you not know?"

"Because I was sent to Seattle and everyone else went their separate ways."

"I don't care to check in on them." I said.

"Okay...but, are you okay now? You're safe?" She asked. "No-No one's hurting you?"

I nodded.

"So, what happened after Seattle?" Evie asked.

I looked up in thought -- I couldn't remember at that exact moment.

"I uh...we..."

Montanna, Kansas! Right!

"I went to Montanna, then we went to Kansas." I answered. "Then we came here."

"Who's we?" Indra asked.

"New family." I answered.

"And the guy, Jason, is there too?" He asked. "I mean, you guys aren't...?" He trailed off.

"Yeah...he's my brother." I assured him. He sighed with relief. What did he think we were?

I watched him pale for a second. I shook my head in disdain. What were they thinking?

The bell rang with the afternoon announcement following. The trailer doors opened and people piled out. Now's my chance.


Dear god. Who would do such a thing? Poor Luc. Is there a way I can make things easier for him? If he's with a new family, I want to make sure they're treating him right.

That woman from last week... Is that his new mother? And was the baby his...?

The bell rang and people rushed out of their rooms. They brushed past Indra and I. I saw Luc move, then fade away into the crowd.

"Damn it! Don't go." I said out loud. He was probably already gone.

"Poor iubirea mea." Indra whined like a sad puppy. I don't know what's going on with those two, but it has him going all cuckoo.

"Oh relax. You'll see him again." I scolded. For an old guy he sure is whipped. I turned to him. "Should we go?"

Indra didn't answer, but kept staring over my head.

"What?" I turned around.

Luc was still there, leaning over the railing with his hands folded together. "He didn't leave." I thought to myself. I was actually relieved.

He had this piercing stare.

"Well, well," I started. "You didn't take off."

Luc glanced at me. "I'm not a runner. I never was." He stated. "Just avoidant. Not yet ready."

I frowned a little.

"I'm sorry," I looked him in the eye, "I've been mean to you lately."

Luc tilted his head. When he did his hair moved a little and I saw his chin. It had these dark crack looking things.

I opened my mouth but nothing came out.

"Will you start telling us more?" I asked.

"What?" He responded.

"There's nothing else to tell. I've told you everything." He said.

"I mean when something comes up." I clarified.

"Maybe." Luc stood up and pointed behind him. "I have to go."

He walked away. Indra walked past me.

"You can't follow him." I said sternly.

Indra turned to me with a pouty face and slouched slightly. "Aw." Sometimes when he's like that I feel like petting him on the head.

"Come on. Let's go before they close the gate." I said before heading to the student parking lot with him.


Once again I didn't feel like going home, so I went to see an old friend.

After climbing eight flights of stairs I reached an apartment door.

"Please still be here, please still be here..." I muttered.

I knocked on the door. A few seconds passed. The door finally opened.

"Holy shit." Alex gasped.

I chuckled nervously and waved, "hi."

"Dude. Where have you been? You dropped off the face of the earth!" He stated.

"Hm, not exactly." I responded.

Alex turned to the side. "Come in."

I went into his apartment. He walked past me and sat down on his sofa.

Oh right, you don't know who Alex is. Allow me to clarify. Do you remember that I used to have a job? Yeah, we worked together.

Out of all the people I worked with he was my favorite. If I'm being honest I probably favored him too much.

I sat down across from him.

"What happened?" Alex smiled at me.

"Went to Seattle." I answered.

"For two years? How come?" He asked.

"I, well, I got out." I smiled.

"Really? That's great!" Alex didn't know about my home life, I just told him I was in trouble.

He reached in his pocket and pulled out a roll of cash. He held it out to me.

"No no. I don't need that anymore." I gently pushed his hand back.

"Oh." He put it back in his pocket. "Then why are you here?" He quizzed.

"I don't know entirely." I started. "I've just...I don't know. Been feeling out of place?"

"I just moved back here and everything is so different now." I don't get beaten or raped anymore. That's something that I knew was coming no matter what. Now? I don't know what's coming. Jeanette and Brian could snap at any moment. Jason too. I believed this. They almost seem too good to be true.

"Maybe I'm just trying to tie up loose ends." I hunched my shoulders. "Or seeking comfort in my past."

"I don't really know."

"Oh I see." Alex nodded.

"Well whatever it is you're looking for, I hope you find it." He pointed at me.

"Thanks." I muttered.

I left Alex's apartment complex around 5 or 6. We hung out just for old times' sake and after that I vowed to never see him again.

I stopped outside the front door. I was feeling sick again. I leaned over the bushes and threw up.

"Ugh," I moaned. "I can't believe that happened."

I had an hour walk. So I got home at like 7:46.

I slid my key into the slot as quietly as I could. I slowly pushed open the door. I stepped inside and closed the door.

The kitchen light was on, but it was dark in the living room so I could just walk upstairs without the risk of being seen.

Phew. God I'm tired. And apparently sick. I was going to throw up again.

I took my bookbag off and held it under my arms. I put my foot on the steps, "don't creak, don't creak, please god don't creak." I thought.

The first step didn't make a sound. I stepped onto the second step and continued on slowly.

"Luc," I gasped when I heard Jeanette's voice.

"Shoot." I whispered.

I turned around and smiled.

"Hi Jeanette," I said quietly. "How's your night going?"

Her face said she was not in the mood for my games.

"Get down here." She demanded slowly.

I sighed and slowly walked down the stairs.

She started talking when I stood in front her.

"I ask very little of you Luc, but the one thing I thought was clear is you coming straight home after school."

I craned my head to the side.

"This sneaking out, skipping class, and not coming home behavior of yours is unacceptable."

"It stops now."

"Go to school. Go to class." She then pointed at the front door. "I want you through that door at two thirty with Jason and stay here unless told otherwise!" She was raising her voice.

"Don't you dare go anywhere else!"

Yeah she's mad.

"Fine!" I turned and went upstairs to my room.

I threw my bag down then ran into the bathroom. I leaned over the toilet and threw up again.

Four in one night (I threw up on the way home). I'm surprised I haven't passed out already.

I rinsed my mouth out then went into my room and collapsed on top of my bed. Didn't even take off my shoes.

"Where am I?" I thought.

I was laying down in a dull green room. What is this? I sat up and eventually stood.

"This is the first time you've slept in four days."

"Wha?" I croaked.

I turned around. Indra? What's he doing here?

I threw my hands up slightly.

"That's not good." He said.

"Listen, I don't like the whole talking-in-dreams trope, so I'm just gonna leave." I turned and walked away. I walked but I got no where. This place just goes on and on.

"You can't run from me here. That's why we're here." Indra called.

"Haha. Yeah." I didn't believe him.

"Luc," Indra called. "I'm controlling the dream."

I rolled my eye and turned around. I walked over to Indra and leaned close to his face.

"If you're really Indra then where are the cats?"

He blinked. "They're at the condo."

"Delilah misses you." He then said.

I groaned and rubbed my forehead as I turned away from him. "I was sleeping peacefully."

"You are sleeping peacefully. You're just dreaming."

"Go away. I want to go back to being in peace." I said.

"You are in peace."

"Then go away."

"I will not."

Indra called my name again. "We need to talk." I grinned a little, but quickly dropped it when I turned to him.

"I already told you what I wanted to say." I said.

"I know, and I'm glad you did. Maybe now Evie can understand you better."

"Is that it?" I asked.

Indra grabbed my shoulder. I faced him.

"I want to know everything." He demanded.

"No." I told him.

I jerked out of his grasp and walked away. I was intent on getting out.

"But I do want to talk to you." Indra said.

"Stop following me!" I snapped.

"I will not." He repeated.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked.

He caught up to me.

"I..just wanted to be with you." Indra said.

"Just the two of us again..." He continued.

I stopped abruptly. He turned and faced me. I looked into his eyes.

"I told you," I shook my head, "you don't want me." This ugly thing.

He reached his hand out about to touch my arm.

"No." I moved around him and resumed walking.

After, what felt like hours, I was sitting on the floor covering my face. There was no getting out of this place.

Indra was behind me pacing back and forth talking up a storm. Talking to me, in fact, but I couldn't understand a word he was saying. He was speaking, I don't know, Russian? Since when did he speak Russian?

I turned my head. He was gesturing and going back and forth like an insane person.

"Indra." I called.

He didn't respond.

I had had enough.

"Shut up!" I screamed. "Shut up!"

"Ok." Indra stated simply.

I stood up. "What do you want?! Huh?!"

"Tell me or I swear to god I'll leave!"

I held up my arm and held my other hand above it.

"Start flappin those pretty lips!" I demanded without thinking.

"Okay okay." He sighed.

"At school, we never see each other, it's either the three of us or you leave. You don't text me anymore..." He said.

"I want come to me with your problems." He then laughed at himself, "I want to stay up all night talking to you."

"I don't know. I just miss you." My face was all heated up.

He misses me? We weren't ever...that's not true. I want to hang out with him like I used to.

"I missed you too, but I didn't think I was allowed to."

"Not in that way at least." I added.

Indra walked closer to me.

"Iub- Luc." He hooked his finger around mine. "Please don't shut me out again. I want to be there for you."

"Oh, Indra." I sighed. Here he is pouring his heart out. I want to do this. I want to let him in. I don't want to be on my own in this.

I wrapped his scarf around my wrist, giving a gentle tug.

"And that whole "you don't want me" thing, that's for me to decide." He stated adamantly.

He began to lean closer to my face. "Oh my god." I thought before closing the gap and kissing him. Indra touched my cheek.

I know it's a dream, but it feels real. He makes me feel like I never left. It was almost like we couldn't get enough of each other, something like a hunger or passionate frenzy.

Of course I ruined it when things got too hot.

"Whew!" I exclaimed when I woke up.

"Shit." I panted.

Apparently I had the wherewithal to get under the covers and take off my shoes.

I fanned myself with the thick blankets.

"Calm it down south side. It was just a dream."

After that I couldn't go back to sleep so I went back to sitting on my ledge. I don't know what's wrong with me. I closed my eye.

Nah. I want my bed.

I crawled into my bed and tried to go back to sleep.

I woke up around six in the morning then spent most of the morning in the bathroom throwing up.

Jeanette would rub my head soothingly as I rested it on her lap.

"What happened to you yesterday? Did you eat something bad? Will you tell me?" She asked.

"I did a lot yesterday. Nothing that would make me throw up like this though." I spoke quietly as my throat hurt.

I haven't even been eating. What is there to throw up?

"How are you feeling now?" Jeanette asked.

"Okay." I answered.

"You should go lay down and try to get some sleep. We'll try to get some food in you later when your stomach settles down." She said.

"Does that sound okay?" She asked.

"Yes." Food souds nice, but so does sleep.

I could feel myself smiling in my sleep. It felt so nice, being secure and warm in my bed as I slept. Finally...a sense of peace.

I opened my eye. Things weren't clear, it seemed like I was in an entirely different place. There was a clock on the nightstand. 3:15. I slept for seven hours?

The doorknob sounded as it turned. I rolled over as it opened and a figure walked in carrying a bowl. "Ah, shit." I thought.

"Luc, I brought you soup." He said.

"No, no. Stay away from me." I whispered.

I hopped out of the bed.

"Luc?" He called.

"How did he fucking find me?! He should be in jail!" I thought.

I grabbed a pencil from the floor.

"Stay back, Chet! I'm in no mood for your bullshit!" I yelled. His foot moved.

"Stay away!" I screamed.

Third Person:

"Stay away!" Luc screamed maniacally.

There was a loud shatter and Brian staggered out of Luc's room after he pushed him, hitting the wall. The door then slammed shut and locked.

"Ow." Brian said simply.

Jeanette came into the hallway. "What just happened?" Brian held his arm out, covering his side.

"Aw nothing." Brian said, grinning.

"How about you go check on Alexandria? She's about to wake up." He said.

"Alright." Jeanette turned and walked into the baby's room.

Jason came up the stairs and stood beside Brian. "What's going on?" He asked.

"Do me a favor and get my medical bag." Brian said calmly.

Jason looked at Brian and saw a pencil sticking out of his side.

"He stabbed you?!"

"Lower your voice."

"For a tiny fella he sure is strong." Brian chuckled.

He looked at Jason. "Go!"

Jason stammered before leaving.

Brian rubbed his head and sighed. "We need to get him help quickly."


I stood outside Luc's room the next day as Brian went in with food. Immediately he started screaming.

"Stay away from me! Get back!"

Brian hurried out and closed the door. I looked at him, he didn't have the food with him. "He's getting worse, we need to do something now." I said.

"We can't get him to the therapist until tomorrow morning." Brian whispered.

I groaned lowly.

"I'm going in." I said.

I opened the door and went in. Luc was sitting in the corner by his closet. He had his pillows around him protectively and was wrapped up in his blanket.

I looked down and saw a broken plate and toast on the floor. I kneeled and began to pick up the shards and toast.

"You want to try eating, Luc?" I asked softly.

"No. No..." He answered. He shuddered.

"I'll get a new plate and come back just in case you get hungry later. Okay?" I said.

He thinks Brian is his former father. He won't let him or Jason near him. Just me. Makes me wonder what really happened at that house. I left and closed the door.


"You can't do that. You can't do that to me! I don't deserve it!" I thought. I clenched my blanket.

I could feel my insides crawling, my stomach burning...and something sliding down my throat. I gagged, but choked it down.

Images flickered.

Chet was standing in front of me...arguing, bargaining.

I squeezed my eye shut. The images didn't stop. I groaned and scratched at my throat. "Somebody help me." I thought.

An hour passed, I brought myself to my bed and was tossing and turning as I slept.

Monique had brought a plate to my door, but I ignored it and her.

I cried out when I woke up. I rubbed my face and head, "no, no, no, no, no," I sobbed.

I quickly picked up my phone and opened my contacts list. My thumb hovered over the call button beside Indra's name. I looked at the clock at the top of my phone. It was only 11:50. He's in class.

I threw my phone to the floor and cried into my hands.

There was a knock on my door. I gasped.

"Luc?" A voice called. Monique!

"I don't want to see you." I mumbled.

"Why not?" She asked.

I didn't answer, just cowered under my covers. I heard her leave.

I sat up and the blankets slowly fell off of me. I'm stuck. Right here in the moment. I can't deal with it.

My hands wandered to my face. My fingers brushed my eyes, the ridges.

"What is this?" I thought. "Where's my face? What happened to it? This isn't my face."

I scratched it. It won't come off...

"Worthless..." An echo.

That's right, I'm worthless. A waste of space.

What did you do to me?

My body trembled. I grabbed my throat.

Why did you do it to me? Am I really not a person?

"You bite me I'll split your skull." He came to me in my room and locked the door.

"I don't want to."

"If I said that would you not do it?"

"Monique won't give me anything!" Chet screamed. I flinched. Monique had been avoiding him in every sense of the word. So he came to me.

"Please." I begged with tears in my eyes. "You've taken everything else from me. Don't take this."

"I don't care about you." He said.

That week was anything but normal. Something was forced on me.

"I have needs. You're the only one interested in this."

"But I-"

"Shut up. Just do it."

He made me pleasure him, in the most disgusting way.

He should have died! It's my fault!

I rubbed my hands together.

"Open your mouth."

The blood is on my hands. It won't come off. Why did I do it?

He was in my throat. Sliding down...lingering...try not to throw up, there's no room to.

I scratched at my throat. Get out of my throat. Out! I frantically scratched, frantically dug. I won't have it! Out! Scratch until it's gone, dig until you are free.


Mom handed me a plate wrapped in foil.

"Can you give this to Luc when you go upstairs? And make sure to tell him who you are when you go in." She said.

"Okay..." I drawled.

I took the plate and set my bag down before heading upstairs.

I knocked on Luc's door before opening it. "It's me...Jason."

Luc sat on the side of his bed with his back to me. He slowly brought his left hand down and set it on the edge of the bed.

Something was wrong with his fingers. I heard a 'click' come from him. I looked at his fingers again. They were wet and red. A feeling of dread washed over me and I stepped closer.


I reached his side.

"What did you do?!" I shrieked.

His throat was bleeding. Like, waterfall bleeding. And he just sat there! He was staring ahead at his wall. He didn't try to stop it.

"Luc!" I dropped the plate and dove for him.

I pressed my hands on his throat to stop the bleeding and screamed for my dad. Luc stood and swatted my hands away. He had a crazy look in his eye. He didn't want me to stop him, that was clear.

I pressed on the openings again. He pushed me away and fell to his knees. He was fading fast. I screamed for dad again and grabbed onto Luc again. He didn't have the strength to fight me.

He wheezed a little. Dad burst into the room. "What is it?" He saw Luc on his hands and knees and jumped into action.

"Go get your mother." He ordered me and he put his hands on Luc's throat.

"Mom!" I screeched.

"What's with the yelling Jason?" She asked.

"Luc. Bleeding. Dying. Let's start the car." I panted. That was all I could put together in my scared state.


Dad came down the stairs with Luc in his arms and a towel pressed on his neck. Luc's eye was closed.

Mom went over to the two.

"Is he dead?" I asked.

Neither of them answered me.

"Dad." I called. "Dad!"

"I'll get the car." Mom stated. She left quickly.

"Can't you guys help him here?" I questioned.

"I can't determine how bad it is here. Now go get your sister and meet us in the car. Hurry!" Dad hurried out of the house as I ran upstairs for Alexandria.

We pulled into the ambulance bay. I got out with Dad and Luc while Mom drove away to park. When we got into the hospital Dad put Luc down on a gurney. Doctors and nurses rushed over and they started talking Doctor. There was alot of blood at this point.

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked. "Will he be okay?" No one answered me. I was scared and on my own.

Dad and the other doctors ran off with the gurney and disappeared behind two big doors.

I was in the middle of an E.R. with a baby. I didn't know what to do. Should I wait for Mom to come find me?

Eventually I was escorted out to the waiting room by a nurse. I sat for a few minutes. With Alexandria, with blood on my hands and clothes.

I heard Mom call my name. I looked up and she was running over to me.

"Mom," I muttered.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

I nodded.

She touched my shoulder. "Let's get you cleaned up."

I stood up and she lightly pulled me. "Shouldn't we go check on Luc?"

What are they doing to him in there? Did he even live long enough to let them operate?

"He's in good hands, Jason." Was all Mom said about the topic.

We went into the bathroom. Mom took Alexandria from me and I began to wash my hands.

"That's my brother's blood running down the drain there." I thought.

I looked in the mirror and looked at Mom. She hushed Alexandria as she began to stir.

I dried my hands and we left the bathroom.

"How long will it take?" I asked.

Mom shook her head, "I don't know."

A few minutes passed and a female doctor and Dad came out. Dad had a smear of blood on his shirt. The doctor lady had on a gown over her scrubs.

"Eliza!" Mom shot up. "What's going on? How is he?"

Dr. Eliza calmed her down before speaking. "It's not looking good, Jeanette. He scratched through the tissue and knicked his larynx, which is now tearing. We're going to go in and fix it."

"Did anything else happen that could've caused that?" She asked.

Mom stammered a bit.

"We fought a little..." I spoke up as I recalled grabbing him. "He fell too."

Dr. Eliza nodded, "I'll be out with updates." She left and Dad followed.

"So...Luc won't speak again?" I asked. Mom didn't say anything.


Hours passed.

Luc made it through surgery. Pastor successfully stopped the tearing and got him cleaned up. Now he just has to go through recovery, which isn't going to be easy. He laid in a hospital bed, still asleep. He had a guaze pad and bandages around his neck. Under that a few dozen stitches, and under that more stitches. IVs were attached to him.

I sat at his bedside looking over him. He was as pale as a ghost. His breathing was soft and almost silent.

Surprisingly, he didn't need a transfusion. He's tiny and was bleeding so much. It amazes me each time how such a tiny person can have that much blood. I rubbed my face anxiously and tapped my finger. What's going to happen when he wakes up?

"Brian?" Pastor's voice called.

I turned my head. "Oh, hey Eliza." She stood at the door.

"He'll wake up." She said.

"I know." I responded. He's going to wake up.

"There's something we need to talk about." She then said.

"It can wait. I'm ordering a psych consult."

"I should have done that long ago." I continued. I heard Pastor leave.

"Why didn't I?" I whispered.

I looked at Luc's left forearm. Scars. He wanted to kill himself previously. I'd noticed them before, when I took him to get his arm checked, but never said anything. Why did I do that? Do we really know what we're doing with him?

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