Is it me you're looking for?
Ludwig’s eyes flew open leaving him groaning in pain from the residue feeling of being slugged in the eye. What hit him? It was like a truck slammed into his face. He yelped when a knock sounded from his door.
“Honey, it’s fine that you wanna do that sort of thing but remember the young ears in the house, and people sleeping. So please keep it down.” His mother walked by his door after her accusing tirade.
“S-..” He clears the sleep from his throat and says. “Sorry. I’ll keep it down.” Falling back onto his pillow, he sighs; running a hand through his bed-head Ludwig reaches for his phone. Dialing Gev’s number, he quickly hangs up before it can be answered. ‘That’s right, turn into the gay calling on friends to have chats and what not, yup, Gev would love that.’
His phone rang in his hand and he answered it hastily. “Yeah?”
“I can’t sleep either.” The Russian says in response to the fact that he’d been called up this late at night. “Wanna hang out?”
“I can’t, I have a curfew.”
Laughing, Gev replied. “Are you serious?”
“With everything that happened? Yes, I’m serious... and I’ve always sort of had one.”
The only made him laugh louder. “Super. That’s just fucking swell, well, you know what, we can just talk then.”
They fall into a silence then, Gev listening to Ludwig breathing slowly in and out and Ludwig listening to Gev do what sounded like smoking with the intake and blow out.
“Damn, we’re entertaining.” And he laughed again, the bark being cut off by a cough.
Ludwig could only snicker at the comment. It was true. He had nothing to say that wasn’t something soft and douchey. He just wanted to be told that Yakusoku was all right and coming home.
“I’ve been having dreams about him.” He heard himself say before he could stop it. Luckily his tone didn’t sound like he was hinting at the rated content, but rather that he was tired and always having nightmares or something.
Gev heard otherwise and in a sly tone asks. “Do tell.” He blew smoke from his mouth.
“Uh-huh..” He snickered in amusement. “You give him a blowjob or did he give you one?” Ludwig’s hesitation only had the Russian laughing again.
Embarrassed, the guilty male sighed. “It’s not always like that, sometimes I’m just saving him... or we’re talking about what’s happened. I was running down this long orange hall once, and he was just slumped there looking up at me confused like he didn’t know me. ...But sometimes they end up with the two of us... doing things.”
“I know what things are Luddy, I’m sixteen.”
“Of course, and that makes you so worldly.”
“It does.” Gev took a drag from the thin stick between his fingers. “Was it any good? Did he get you off?”
Laughing away from his dour mood, Ludwig shakes his head. “I’m not answering that.”
“Come ooon! Answer!” He teased.
“Nooo.” He laughed out.
“Geez, it was that good? Gotta go change your tented whities?”
“Shut up.” Groaned Ludwig. He rolled his eyes when the male actually started a weedle session. “Fine! You freak, it was praiseworthy... and usually outside.”
“Hot.” There’s a ruffling sound as he shifts on the bed. “Was I there?”
“Uh-huh. You know you think of me when you stuff your hands under the covers.”
“You love it.” The male laughed teasingly. “Ooohh Ludwig, hold me tighter!” He mocked.
“Shut up, you freak!”
“What? People love seeing best friends on each other... at least guys do with girls. I don’t really know if it goes both ways.” He seemed to really be thinking about that.
“Well, in case you failed to notice in the months we’ve been hanging out, I’m NOT a girl. And you’re so lucky to be so high to know what you’re saying right now.”
“Guilty.” He laughs.
They fall into another silence then.
“Boy, we keep revisiting that boring conversation- I think it’s called silence- I wanna be entertained.” The Russian whined.
“I don’t know what to tell you.”
“So how long have you been gay?”
“I told you, it just sort of crept up on me because of Yakusoku... It kinda got worse now that he’s gone.”
They’re silent once again.
“How long has it been going on?” Ludwig asked out of nowhere.
“What? I’m not pining for Yakuza.”
“No. I mean, what your dealer’s been doing to you.”
Gev was silenced a moment, the air thickened. “What are you talking about?”
“You know... I mean, I don’t wanna say anything if I’m wrong but...” He wished right then he hadn’t said anything, more so when he kept going. “When you went and got that money... you looked... fucked. Not like- fuuucked- just ashamed.”
Gev coughed into his fist then answered the technically unasked question by saying. “You’re wrong...”
“I don’t think I am. I mean, your silence says everything.”
“You don’t know anything!” He sighs in annoyance. “Guys like this, they think their owed some shit or something. I’ve been selling for him since I started.” He listened to the fact that Ludwig had nothing else to say at the moment. “Fuck! He’s not fucking me, you shithead!” He spat in anger. “Sometimes I don’t sell enough that fucking day, and he’ll ask for a fucking blowjob or something to keep from beating the shit out of me... but that’s as far as it goes.” His voice quieted.
“I’m sorry,” Ludwig replied quietly. “Why don’t you stop?”
“I plan on quitting, and leaving for good tomorrow.”
“I hope you can.”
“Fuck you.” He hung up.
Ludwig looked at the phone as if it had tried to burn his ear off. Sighing, he says through the deadline. “I’m sorry.” Setting his phone down atop the dresser, he runs his hand through his semi-curled hair. Scooting his heels forward he lowers himself on the bed. ‘Burned the last of those bridges to friendship. Way to go, fuck up.’ He pummeled himself with insults. “Fuck. Fuck.” He muttered sadly. ‘I should call and apologize.’ But instead, he rolled over and went back to sleep.
It didn’t last long, though, his phone buzzed on the dresser. Reaching for it Ludwig flips it open finding that he has a photo sent to him. Gev’s flipping him off but holding up a little piece of paper that says: See you at school.
Glad that was over, he set his phone back down on the dresser and waited for sleep to take over.