Taint it black
“You were just a little kid,”
The pair looked exactly like little kids right now, legs folded in Indian-style while seated on the large queen-size bed. Both leaned in like a couple of cheeky bastards telling each other dirty information about what they’ve learned in Sex Ed. in the late hours. But instead of ‘How creepy is it that girls bleed, for no reason, once a month’ it’s about his broken mind and what happened to him on that fateful night that got him separated from his birth family, and out on the streets with no memory of any of it.
“It was mid-spring when it happened... Mom was taking you to get season appropriate clothing since you were wearing your old summer clothes.”
Yakusoku tried to picture it, to picture being a little kid walking that odd kid walk of skipping, rock kicking and trying to match an adults’ giant steps. Was he happy to be getting new clothes? Did he have to drag it out of her? ‘Yes! I did! I remember whining around because Celes got new clothes before me- my brother had too! Mom took a day off of work to take me.’
“Yeah,” Mamoru assured his curiosity to be the truth. “The shopping went fine, but the problem is that you didn’t know that while you were shopping you were also being watched by someone. ...A woman...” he studied Yakusoku’s face to be sure he wasn’t going to shut down on him. “Just remember that this happened years ago, Hakuo... you’re stronger than it now.”
“I don’t even remember it anyway, so how can I be bothered by it?”
“I just don’t think you’re gonna like what it is that I have to say.”
“Well, I’ll never know until you say it.” He was sounding desperate now. He really wants to know!
“There was a woman... she followed you and your mom to Cold Stone, it’s an ice-”
“Cream place, I know.”
“She followed you when Emiko took you to the park, watching you... waiting. Then when you both left... she followed you home.”
Yakusoku swallowed around a hard dry lump in his throat. He wasn’t sure if it were the insinuation or the cold detached way Mamoru was speaking about it, but he suddenly felt himself becoming very scared. He felt as cold as Mamoru’s tone. Ice.
“Nobody knew, nobody saw her. She picked the lock around midnight, three days after that day, and she took you- in fact, you didn’t really have a choice...”
Yakusoku could see it as it’s being said to him- sort of- a woman with no face, coming into his home. His bedroom. Putting her hand over his mouth to keep in his scream in, while she whispered in his ear “I’ll hurt your family if you scream, and I’ll kill them if you don’t come with me.“.
“You love your birth family as much as those Land people, you’d have done anything to keep them safe.” He smiled just then, a secret smile, completely to himself. “So you went with her. ...You didn’t go far, just to a park where she pounced on you.”
Yakusoku heard the wind knock from his chest before he felt it. Pictures running through his mind chilled his blood, his veins felt like stiff hollows of ice with razor cold water pushing through them: a plump, dark-haired woman, her hands grabbing and groping at him, tugging at his pajamas to remove them; the grass blades were rough and staining his skin as she tried keeping him from wriggling in place. She smacked him across the mouth and held his throat until he sobbed in agreement to stop moving.
“You cried the entire time... you didn’t want to, nor did you believe it was happening. But it happened.”
Her tongue was everywhere, he could feel the wet warmth from her mouth as she went down on him. The oddity of having someone three times his size exposing herself to him before sitting on his lap. He wanted out... he wanted to die. To go away and hide, and so he lay there asleep.
“I fell asleep to get away...” He said softly. “I went away.”
“You wanted to forget everything, and so you did... but with your gift and your lack of knowledge in how far it could go, you literally went away. You shut it all away, and you ran.”
“I was molested, I wiped my mind of everything on accident.”
And wasn’t it odd that he could call him by his real name now? He isn’t lying. If he had called him Hakuo from the start it wouldn’t have meant anything, but it would have stirred the lock on the door, it would have him remember. It would have broken him sooner than now to know that he’s been molested as a child and ran. It was all an accident. All mistake. All so horrible that even now that frightened eight-year-old inside of him still couldn’t cope with it. Maria wasn’t his first. Enid wouldn’t have been able to be his first because, just as Maria had done in the cabin nearly 3 years ago, his first time was taken from him by some sick woman who couldn’t recover from her mental illness and stalked him then waited to take him.
‘I’m tainted. Damned. A psychic. Molested. I never stood a chance back then, Mamoru is here for me, that can only mean that I don’t stand a chance now.’
He actually yelped when Mamoru touched him. Snapping out of his thoughts, he blinked the shame from his clouded eyes and stared at his reflection. Mamoru to protect. Always there for him.
The voice came in slowly, like the volume knob for his hearing turned itself up one notch at a time.
“He’s right upstairs.” It’s Rebecca! But who is she talking to?
“Shit, kid, something’s going down,” Mamoru said from the door where he’s eavesdropping with his ear pressed to the separation between the door and the frame.
“I thought something seemed a little odd about him, nothing he said made any sense. I’m glad that you managed to track him down here- small miracles, right? I’ll call him-..” Her voice became louder. “Young man!? Young man, are you awake?! Your sister is here to get you.”
“It’s Maria! We gotta go!” He tugged on the statues shirt sleeve. “Did you hear me? Maria found us, we have to sneak out!”
It was as if he were in a coma, or perhaps he’s gone catatonic. Yes, that made the most sense.
“It doesn’t matter anymore... somebody always wins.” He whispered from his far away place. “I can’t fight her anymore.”
“What are you talking about? Of course, you can!” He shakes him by the shoulders from behind. “See! This is exactly why I didn’t wanna tell you anything, you can’t handle it! You couldn’t handle it then, and you can’t now- you’re too weak minded. ...Damn it, man, come on!”
Yakusoku shook his head very slowly. “What’s the use?”
The door swung open, and there stood Rebecca... and Maria.
“Young man, your sister is here to pick you up. Isn’t it lucky that she found you here?”
“Yes, brother, it is very lucky that I’ve found you.” She walked into the room with such edge it was a wonder the carpet didn’t start shredding beneath her feet. Her hand clamped down on his shoulder like a vice.
“Thank you for finding me.” He said in a tone near gone.
Mamoru wasn’t the only one surprised, Maria seemed like she was hit by a snow plow, although the impact hit nothing but her brow, which arched hard.
“Ah hehe, Haku’... are you sure you wanna do this?” He glares at him then to Maria.
“Let’s go home,” Maria said once recovering from her stupor. “I was very worried about you, we all were.”
“Dammit!” Spat Mamoru. “Lady, she’s lying!”
Rebecca quirked her head in attention wondering where the voice came from, but with no explanation, she simply followed her guest down the stairs.
“I need to speak with Rebecca for a moment,” Maria said. “you go outside and wait for me.”
“Alright.” He walked out the door.
Out into the cold, biting winds, down the stone stairs, and into the embrace of the winter white. And it was funny... some of that winter white is moving. Not moving, more like walking. Yakusoku looked up much too late to avoid being snatched by two very large men in white clothes.
“What are you doing?” He asked them in a panicked tone. “Who are you? Maria! Maria! Help me!” He struggled and pulled to get free from their grasp, but they are quite strong.
Not that they needed to be, Yakusoku’s weight has reduced drastically since he’s gone missing; the wind could knock him on his ass. A leaf falling from a tree brushing his shoulder could have him wincing in pain. So his struggle is fruitless by a long shot as they drag him over to a large white truck; that in passing, he’s positive he saw the word SAN- printed on the side, but little more do to his panicked flailing. Couldn’t Rebecca see this? Couldn’t the neighbors hear his dry cries in the howling wind? How is everyone missing this missing boy?
He was thrown into the back of the truck, his bangs gone ignored, his pleads with his new captor's nothing but a joke as they load into the van and wait.
“I just wanted to thank you again for letting me know he’s here. I’ve gone almost to every place in town hoping to find him.” Maria said in a phony pleasant tone.
“Oh, it’s no problem at all. Glad I could help, and I hope your brother gets better.” She looked at the white truck. “Being mentally unstable has to be very scary to live with.”
“I’m sure it is.” She turned to leave. “One more thing, though, I should tell you that you were wrong to help him when he’s not yours.”
Face scrunched in confusion. “What?”
“I said, leave my man alone... bitch.” With that, she closed the door after her departure.
Rebecca blinked in confusion before lurching forward, pressing her forehead to the door; she cupped her hand beneath her nose and spots blood dripping from it. Her eyes stung, but the falling tears weren’t water, they were blood. What’s happening?! She slumped to the floor when her ears began bleeding as well, her brain had been reduced to mush. Maria gave her a headache that could bring down an elephant. And as for the escapee.
Knocking on the back of the truck she alerted her beloved, who was rattling around inside like a caged animal- a very weak and wounded caged animal.
“Maria,” His voice is frantic and pleading. “I made a mistake before, I’ll listen now! Please don’t do this!”
“It’s out of my hands... you’re just too wild. I need a lover who’s more...” She paused to let a contemplative crooked smile cross her face. “tame.” Simulating touching his cheek by brushing the side of her hand against the glass of the tiny window on the back of the truck doors, she frowned as if her next words were meant to be sad only to her. “It’ll be better this way. You’re behaving as if wild and panicked is your only choice, you should be flourishing in my love’s captivity, not rebelling. You really did bring this on yourself. See you in six months.”
“No! Nonononononono!” He popped his hands against the cold metal door.
His desperation growing, and his panic had him feeling another attack coming on. Where is Mamoru? Where is Maria’s- so-called- love to change her mind and start over? Where is the help? Nothing but the screaming of his own voice. The pounding of his weight-loss thinned body beating this way and that on the cold metal floor where he writhed from chest pains, and emotional stress.
She tapped the side of the van, and that was enough to get the engine going. Maria waved to her lover as the truck pulled away from the drive. She can wait six months for love. She had to wait all this time to have him, so she can wait a little longer.