For the last ten minutes, I’ve been sitting in my car, debating if I wanted to do this or not. Being pregnant still seemed so surreal, and in a way, hiding it was my way of not accepting it. I love Cove with all my heart, and I would never trade her for the world, but getting pregnant at nineteen was a accident. I wasn't ready to take care of child and be responsible for another life, I was barely able to take of myself.
My stomach has been growing nearly every week adding to my existing problems and relationship insecurities. Soon my loose fitting dresses and duster coats would no longer save me. Liam hasn’t noticed or picked up on my weird behavior, but keeping this from him was eating away at me. We’ve been engaged for two months, and I’ve already managed to fuck up more than once.
I’ve cancelled this appointment twice, since I found out I was pregnant, and as much as I wanted to avoid this, I cannot put my unborn child at risk because of my carelessness. Grabbing my Neverfull from the passenger seat, I opened the driver’s side door, exiting my car with a soft slam. The Seattle snow was slowly, but surely disappearing, something I wasn’t used to after living in Detroit.
As I approached the hospital’s entrance, my hands pushed the revolving doors, allowing me to enter the lobby. It wasn’t too busy inside, just a few people sitting in the waiting room, along with a couple of nurses walking through the hallway. The click of my heels echoed loudly in my ears, as my legs grew heavier the closer I got to the front desk. There’s no turning back now.
“Um, good morning.” I smiled at the older woman, playing solitaire on her small tablet.
“Oh! Excuse me.” She tucked the tablet into a desk drawer, before turning her attention to me. “How can I help you, hun?”
“I have an appointment with Dr. Gardner.”
“Name and date of birth, darling.”
"Katherine Prescott De Silva, date of birth May 5th, 1993." I watched as her purple, painted fingers typed against the keyboard, before she placed a pale, yellow folder and badge on the desk top.
“You can have a seat in the waiting room, I’ll let her know you’re here.” I nodded, picking the folder and badge up from the desk, walking towards the waiting room. I couldn’t help but feel antsy, as I sat in the plastic chair that was slightly digging into my back. I wasn’t fond of hospitals, it seemed every time I came here something always went wrong.
“Katherine?” Looking up, my eyes found a tall woman, with short, black hair held together by an ornate clip, and big round eyes smiling at me. I returned her friendly gesture, standing up to follow behind her, as she led us into the examining room. There were posters of various pregnant women, children, and fun facts about pregnancy hung on the pale white walls. “You can take off your coat and get comfortable. How are you this morning?” She asked while applying hand sanitizer to her hands.
“I’m alright, a bit nervous.” Which was the truth. I sat my coat and purse on one of the chairs against the wall, before hoisting myself up onto the bent bed.
“There’s no need to be nervous, you’re in the hands of the best doctor’s in the state, not to brag or anything.” I lightly laughed, as she rolled her stool over to the bed. “Now, how are you feeling, before we get into examining your little angel.” Dr. Gardner asked with a smile, crossing her left leg over her right, as she waited for my response.
Veronica has asked me this question every day since January, and I could never give her an answer. How the hell was I feeling? Scared, worried, happy, I don’t know if I'm being honest.
“I don’t know honestly, maybe a whole world wind of emotions.”
“That’s completely normal Katherine, first time mothers-”
“Um, this would be my second time. I have a five-year-old daughter.” Dr. Gardner chuckled, bringing her glasses from the top of her head, down to her eyes.
“Well, you should be a semi-pro at this, is there any reason you’re feeling uneasy?” I sighed, trying my best to keep my mind from thinking about Liam.
“My fiancé and I are recently engaged, and we haven’t exactly talked about the possibility of having more kids. He’s older age wise.” God, saying that made me feel like I was fucking a sixty year old.
“May I ask his age?”
“He’ll be thirty-eight this year.”
“Well, I think you should definitely discuss this with him. Taking care of a newborn, let alone a newborn and a toddler, is not an easy task to do by yourself.” Trust me, I know. I nodded, as her thin lips curled into a sad smile. “Well, shall we have a look to make sure everything is going okay?”
“Yes.” Bringing my legs to rest onto the bed, I brought my hands to the end of my dress to expose my growing belly.
“As you know, the gel is a little cold.” She applied the clearish blue gel to my stomach, that felt soothing against my hot, anxious skin. The transducer circled around my stomach, as I watched on the screen of the clear image of Liam, and I’s unborn child. “Well Katherine, there’s baby A, and.” She moved the transducer to the right of my stomach. “There’s baby B.” My eyes widened, as her last sentence left her mouth.
“I-I’m sorry, baby B? There’s two?” My voice was quivering, as I looked over to her.
“Yes, and by the looks of it I’d say you’re about eighteen weeks along, which means conception was around early November.” The first time Liam and I slept together. A lone tear fell down my cheek, as I stared at the screen projecting our two children. “Would you like to know the gender?” A wave of guilt fell over me as she asked this question. The only reason I was hiding this from Liam was because I was scared. Scared of how he’d react, scared I would lose him, scared I would have to raise three children alone, I am fucking terrified history would repeat itself.
“We can always wait till your next appointment Katherine, its still early days, and hopefully your fiancé will be here to support you.” I nodded, wiping the few tears that threatened to stain my foundation.
“Thank you.” Dr. Gardner smiled, standing up from her gray stool.
“I’ll print some pictures from the ultrasound, and prescribe some prenatal vitamins to help you through these last four months.” No more throwing up, or fainting, sign me up. “Try to take it easy Katherine, twin pregnancies are a lot more high risk than normal, we want to keep your angels in as long as we can.” Lifting my dress to recover my body, I swung my legs over the side of the bed, taking a deep breath.
“Thank you, I will.”
“I’ll meet you up front.” I shook Dr. Gardner’s hand, before she exited the room. Walking over to the plastic chair, I slipped my arms into the wool sleeves of my coat, resting my Birkin onto my wrist, as I walked out of the room. Once, I was at the front desk the lady from earlier greeted me with a smile, handing me a large white envelope.
“Your sonogram pictures are inside, along with your prescriptions. Shall I schedule your appointment a month from now?”
“Yes, that's fine.”
“Splendid, have a great day Katherine.” I gave her a soft smile, before walking out the revolving glass doors. My legs seemed to be pushing me to my car, so I could begin my third breakdown of today. With the push of the small button blended into the white exterior of my truck, my uncovered legs made contact with the cold seats, as I sat my purse on the passenger side floor.
Prying open the metal clamps of the white envelope, grabbing the pictures from the sonogram, I stared at my babies, the small, defenseless lives I had a duty to protect.
"I’m so sorry.”
“I think, I might need to record that.” I laughed as Gracie stared at me with her wide doe eyes. “Are you sure your job description is just personal assistant?”
“I wear many hats Gracie.” She laughed lightly, closing her 3-inch binder, standing up from the chair in front of my desk.
“I will have my report by the end of the week.” Reaching behind the screen to find the power button, I turned my computer off for the day, before giving Gracie a sincere smile.
“Take your time Gracie, Lia- Mr. Harrington cares more about quality than quantity.” She nodded.
“Well, goodnight Katherine, see you tomorrow.” Gracie turned around, the small click of her kitten heels echoed in my quiet office.
“Um, Gracie, did Mr. Harrington check out with you when I was out, I haven’t seen him.”
“Oh!” Gracie turned around, moving the few curls out of her face that prohibited vision in her right eye. “He’s in his office with um, Hilga Stafford, I’m sorry, I didn’t catch her name.
“Hilary.” I forced out with a smile.
“Yes, she said it was urgent she met with him.”
“Thank you, Gracie, see you tomorrow.” She bid me goodbye with a smile, before walking towards her office. Since, my belongings were already packed up, and Gustav picked Cove up from school, I had some time to kill. Looking at my reflection in the glass of my window, making sure my bump was well hidden, I proceeded to Liam’s office. I knew the majority of the office had already left for the day, so I skipped knocking, and invited myself in.
Liam’s white dress shirt was rolled up to his forearms, as he paced around his office on his business phone, while Hilary had her heels off enjoying a chopped salad on Liam’s black leather couch. I would love to chop her into a salad.
“Hilary, it’s nice to see you again.” She looked up to me smirking, sitting her salad on the side of her.
“I guess Liam sacrificed quality work when he hired you, do you always enter doors without knocking, it’s incredibly rude.” As much as I wanted to keep us a secret, I was ready to pull my ultimate trump card, and wipe that smirk off of her overfilled lips. I stepped towards Hilary, looking into her gray eyes, covered in sultry eye shadow, and false eyelashes.
“I usually don’t, but my fiancé doesn’t mind.” Her lips fell open, as her eyes traveled down to my left hand, the home of my massive diamond ring. Katherine two, Hilary zero. I pushed past her shoulder, walking over to Liam who was clearly pissed at the caller on the other end of his phone. I wrapped my arms around his neck, placing a kiss onto his lips, which he happily accepted.
“Tell Manon I will schedule a Skype call within the next few weeks, flying to Paris will be my last resort, understood.” Liam’s thumb pressed the circular red button with an annoyed force, bringing his phone to a black screen, as he slipped it into his pocket. “Hi.” I smiled.
“I was just coming to say goodbye, I haven’t seen you all day.” I could feel Hilary’s heated glare burning holes into my head. If looks could kill I’d be ten feet under right now.
“Apolgies, petit ami.” (Sweetheart.) I smiled, removing my arms from around Liam’s neck, as he turned to face a seething Hilary. “We’re done for the day, I’ll email you the revised proofs, check if they are in line with the contract.” Hilary cleared her throat, before a tight smile graced her lips, showcasing her distate.
“Of course, I’ll see you next week.” Hilary began gathering her things, tossing her salad container in the trash by Liam’s door, before exiting his office.
“Next week?” Liam sat on the edge of his desk, folding his arms across his broad chest, as his lips released a tired sigh.
“I have an exibihition in New York, I’ll be gone Friday, through the weekend.” My eyes fell to Liam’s black Ferragamo loafers, as a displeased sigh fell from my lips. He's been so busy with work lately. Liam let out a quiet chuckle, firmly holding my waist to pull my body to his chest, letting his thumbs circle my hip bone. “It was last minute for some high profile clients. This is strictly for work, we won’t even be in the same hotel room, I’ve made sure of it.” I brought my hands to fix his collar, that was slightly lifted from his hetic work day, meeting the gaze of his baby blues.
“Its her I don’t trust.” Liam placed a kiss on my forhead, rubbing his hands up and down my sides in attempt to reassure me. “You have quite the insatiable reputation with women, and that one in partiucalar wants to sink her wrinkly claws into you.” Liam chuckled, a lopsided grin forming on his face.
“You have nothing to worry about, you have me, all of me, I promise.”