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A Fine Day

By OurManInHavana All Rights Reserved ©


Chapter 1

It was a fine, cloudless day in march, and the first sunlight fell upon the wet and cold earth. The day before was frigid and still much winter, but now the world was given an early glimpse of spring.

For many people the day had started, and, as if awakened from hibernation by the brilliant sun, they went about their business seemingly more cheerful and determined. The light glistened in the windows of the cars, and it looked like the light came not from without but within, and many people wore sunglasses and clothes that appeared more colorful in the sunshine. And all this he, Alan Fielding, watched. He watched it as he sat on a train, and he felt that he was the private observer of this spectacle, felt that he was the audience.

This train he took every workday, and it took him to school. He always called it school and never the university.
He sat leaning with his shoulder against the window, looking out. He had kept his jacket on. He rubbed his eyes, his blue eyes, which were moist and crusted around the sides. The train had left the city and the suburbs and was now riding through farmland.

He often experienced these train rides in a sort of haze, not exactly remembering what he had seen, and when he and the other commuters reached the terminus, he would rouse out of his daydreaming state confused and uncertain of where he was.
But that day in march was not one of those days. That day he was not alone for the entirety of the ride. Sometimes he would meet fellow students on the train. He would call them friends when asked, but not many did he consider true friends and some of them he downright disliked.

The train reached the next station. The thumping sound of the engine slowed down. People were getting off; a girl walked by and Alan could smell the fruity fragrance of her perfume. Other people got on the train, among them his friend. The new faces, some of them familiar, looked about for a place to sit. His friend sat down opposite of him, they greeted each other. Their conversations always went the same way: First they would speak of school; their classes, the work they had to do. The next topic would be what they had done the evening before, what they had seen on television. And then their conversation would falter and there’d be a long quiet.

Normally these daily rituals bored Alan, but with the nice weather came a newfound energy. That day he did not mind the mindless small talk, did not mind waiting for the train, waiting for the teacher to arrive, waiting for the class to end, for the next class to begin. No, not that day. That day was a fine day, and he’d remember it as the last time he was truly happy.

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cicheah: Very well-knit story which sustains one's interest from beginning to end. Most enjoyable and a pleasure to read.

rajastreet: I enjoyed this piece! I loved the treatment of time and the premise! Some of the wording seemed a little out of place, but easily overlooked for a good a plot.

M.L. Bull: Hello, Aalia!Your story compelled the emotional pain and struggle of a teenage girl very well.. The imagery was also convincing and well-written, showing the different personalities of your characters and their actions. However, I do think that many of your sentences are too lengthy and could use...

Carolyn Hahn-Re: I really liked this story! The writing was well done, and the plot was suspenseful. I couldn't stop reading chapter after chapter, on the edge of my seat! The characters were well developed, and true to form. Thank you so much for this wonderful read.

Bernsigns: This is an age old story, but with excellent plot twists that I didn't see coming. I truly liked how the story slowly, but steadily revealed the secrets. There were secrets I didn't expect, which kept me wanting to read. I always love a happy ending, with a little bit of real life mixed in. Th...

Wannabe_Scholar2: Sorry for the overly dramatic title, but I couldn't think of anything else. Ignoring that, The summary was what intrigued me, but the first chapter had me addicted to reading this story from start to finish.To add on to that, the first part was what made me interested in this story, with the moth...

Deleted User: I've only read so far to the first two chapters, but I already get that thick, underlying meaning of dark romance--which is good, because it sets the tone, with a hint of danger. However, some parts of the writing did come across as a bit dull, and I personally think that starting a second chapte...

aeratheninja: Interestingly enough, this story touches on different psychological states and was very informing, on top of being a solid story. Although somewhat predictable, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this; I could feel the fear and the frustration of the characters, and was happy when they were happy.Even ...

Jessie: I wrote a review on fanfiction but I thought it would be fitting to write on on here too :) This story was honestly stunning. I am a budding writer myself and to read this- to FEEL this- reminded me of why I am honoured to have this passion and drive for a craft that is just so raw and beautiful.

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