2 - Unbothered
Even as I stop and look around the parking lot in search of my mother's car, I can't help but shove my hand in my pocket.
This is one of those times that my skin colour comes to the rescue. A fine chocolate that hardly ever shows off any signs of bruise and markings.
I catch a glimpse of my brother's tripod attachments and his hand waving around in the air as he gesticulates.
A small smile settles on my lips as I make my way to him. Quite proud of his courage and determination to keep up with this and maybe even a tad jealous.
"…I've probably mentioned this a few times in my past videos and if you guys want me to shed more light on the topic, then do ensure to let me know in the comment section-"
"We can go home now." I announce. A bit too loud and cut him short in his sentence. I can feel his eyes on me but I don't turn. I walk behind his equipment.
"I'm vlogging" Daniel points out with a "how can you not see that" tone and turns his attention back to his camera where he continues his endless speech.
My brother owns a YouTube channel of over one hundred thousand subscribers. He makes tutorial videos of food, gadgets, pranks, challenges. Practically anything that spins his radar.
"As I said earlier, I'm at my little sister's graduation and I am so proud of her." he says with burgeoning excitement and I chuckle at how sweet he sounded.
"Come. Come say hi to my family." he beckons on me with a wide smile and happiness in the depth of his eyes.
But I shake my head and make it carefully to the front seat of the car where I open the day. I'm cautious of the camera so I have to quickly get it and jam the door.
His hand grab mine and he pulls me towards him. I'm only a tiny lady. Who am I not to yield to the aggressive call of a strong one?
I slam into his body with a gasp. My blood ran cold and my heart thunders against my ribcage.
I push him away and jerk around with my hand out. Something crash to the floor and my brother's scream mix with the ferocious beat of my heart.
My wide eyes dart everywhere and when I hold my mother's gaze, she's looking me in shock with her mouth wide open.
I don't quite understand but it soon dawn on me when I feel pain on my knuckles like I punched metal or something. The same hand I used on that iron mirror.
I whip my head sharply to the ground from where my brother knelt beside his– my hands slap over my mouth as I gawk in horror at my brother's broken camera.
"What the fuck is wrong with you!" he barks with murderous intent in his eyes.
"I-I…"i struggle for what to say but I have nothing.
"Sophia. What has gotten into you?" my mother hurries over. She's frowning and that only makes my stomach drop.
"I-i'm sorry. I didn't know how it-"
"Fuck! I had not even saved that video-fuck fuck fuck!"
It's obvious my mom is still pissed and that's the only thing she can focus on right now. If not, she would have scolded Daniel for his choice of words.
"I'm sorry. Maybe we can head to a repair shop so they can get it fixed?" I glance at my mom and she nods.
"Your graduation-"she starts to say.
"Not interested in it. Let's go." I reach out to my brother who is still crouching on the floor but the sideways look he gives me makes me withdraw.
"Stay nine fucks away from me and my materials, Sophia." he spits with utter disgust and walk past me into the front seat, making sure to slam the door.
My shoulders slump and I sigh. Bitterness brewing in me once more.
And one more, this body has proven to be nothing but trouble.
I slide into the back seat and drop my shoes. Crossing my arms over my—i groan and drop them.
I cannot with my thoughts right now. So I plug in my headphones. Taking out my phone, I scroll through my playlist, avoiding any heart touchy songs and settle for Pop Smoke.
But he too loves thick women. My thoughts, I swear, will not be the death of me.
"I'm sorry about your camera, again. I swear I didn't mean for it to happen." I apologize with the my best baby voice and pity eyes.
Daniel rolls his eyes but his lips twitch and that somehow ease something inside me.
"You heard him, he can fix it. So it's fine." he push open the door and step aside for me to go in.
"Such a gentleman." I tease and he snorts.
"Congratulations on your graduation, Soph."
"Thanks and don't call me that!"
"We have a deal if you stay away from my equipment from now on." he says as he walks backwards with both his index fingers pointing at me like a gun before he runs off to his room.
"I just apologized!" I seriously can't believe him.
My mum chuckles behind me and I turn around. "Congratulations, baby" she pulls me to her chest and I willingly lean into her.
"Thanks, mum" I rest my head on her chest as she's-well I'm the shortest in my house. Coupled with everything I already have going on.
"Did you enjoy your graduation?" she asks and pulls away so she can get a good look at me. She can tell when I'm lying but I'm also quite good on putting up a facade.
Knowing well enough that I can't tell her what happened with Tiara— I've never even told any of my family that I get bullied.
While I am…weak, they are not. My mum would literally beat up Tiara and would not consider the obvious fact that it was absurd!
A thirty five year old woman beating up a nineteen year old?
Yeah, no thanks. A scene, giving how I look, is not what I'm looking for.
"It was okay" I shrug and she arcs a brow meaning she's not buying it. "Really mom. It was fine. I'm just glad we're back home now. You know how I can't stand noise." I roll my eyes and she laughs.
"Go freshen up, I'll make your favourite."
My eyes brighten and a smile splits my face. " Amala and Ewedu?"
She nods and joy fills my heart.
That food contains loads of calories. Not like you're gonna get fat if you eat it.
I slam the door in the anger only wishing I could slam my thoughts shut like that.
Walking in front of the mirror, I do what I hardly do. What I don't like doing. Something that gets me mad and frustrated.
I look at myself.
I did cover up nicely. But how about we start to uncover all the wonders my body has to offer.
I start with the suit jacket. I pull it off while still looking at me in the mirror. I dump the jacket on the floor and next, I work off the pants. They easily drop to my ankles and I roll my eyes as my face scrunch up in disgust.
Not wasting another second, I take off the silky singlet. I snort when I see the bra I'm wearing.
I want to laugh at myself. Why am I even wearing a bra? What is it holding?
My eyes water as I ask myself these questions.
It's no surprise I can't even look myself in the mirror when I want to wear them. It's embarrassing.
I take it off and just stand nude in front of the mirror.
And voilà! The wonders of my body.
Just a girl with a slim and straight figure. Her chest is literally flat as she refuse to call them "boobs". She turns to the side and eye her flat ass and thin thighs.
I sigh and literally give up on myself right about now.
Maybe the university is not for me after all. Being smart don't just cut it. Sincerely, i've been thinking. How would I cope in the University with my small stature. I literally have the body of a twelve year old but I've seen twelve year olds with bigger…chest than mine.
Is big boobs and a round ass, too much to ask? I can't even get a boyfriend. Will I even ever have a boyfriend? It's no longer new intel that guys worship thick girls. I'm talking; fat ass and giant boobs with thick heavy thighs.
A tear was forming but I wouldn't let it fall. I shouldn't.
Crying doesn't help any situation. Certainly not this one.
I stare at myself once more and my eyes fall to my flat stomach. The one thing that thick girls don't have yet they crave.
I would trade this for that stature any day and anytime.
Flat tummy, I hate you with every bone in my blood and every strand of hair.
"Mum, it's not fair." I overhear my brother talking in the kitchen. I already know who he's talking about.
My dear daddy. The same one that didn't attend my graduation. Neither did he send a congratulatory note nor leave me a message on WhatsApp.
Truly, it's unfair.
My family hasn't been perfect but without my dad, I feel it would be the sweetest thing ever.
'Have you called him?' my mum ask.
'He's not picking his calls'.
'So?' My mom asks sounding nonchalant. She's gotten used to my dad's behaviour and I doubt it hurts her anymore.
'Why are you bothered?' I walk into the kitchen.
Opening the fridge to take an apple, my lips turn down in a frown when I don't find any.
"Why are you bothered? And secondly," I slam the fridge shut which earns me a glare from my mom. I widen my eyes, looking away. "Where did my Apple go?'
I lift my flat ass to sit on the wide kitchen counter.
"You don't care?" Daniel arced a brow with disbelief in his voice. "You should be sad, you know. Dad didn't attend your graduation. He's not picking his calls." he replies, with pain in his throat.
"Are you both not hungry?' My mum ignores his words with a sigh of irritation. I know she's already tired of the conversation.
"Well, I want my apples." I am tired of the conversation too. Now if only Daniel could understand this and act reasonable-
"Mom are you really not going to say anything about-"
"Daniel!" Mom and I say at once and he recoils in shock under our peering eyes.
Blowing out my cheeks, I roll my eyes and hold my mom mother's gaze but after a while, she looks away and walks about in the kitchen.
The silence that follows is an awkward one with neither of us ready to break it.
It's almost a relief when Daniel takes a plate, offering it to my mum and turns to face me, "I'll get you apples tomorrow. I ate yours. Sorry" he smiles and I can't help but smile back.
We eat dinner with our cutleries doing the talking and after that, retire to bed.
The graduation I once looked forward too has come to an end and worst part, it didn't end well.
With a heavy sigh, I roll on my bed till I'm looking up to the ceiling. Deep down I can't help thinking about my parents and the dangerous part their marriage has been driving into since all these years.
My mother is not happy and Daddy doesn't care.