Psalm 150:1 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
Psalm 146:3 Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help.
The lights instantly brightens the room when I recognize all the familiar faces that obviously planned to hold me against my own will. This is what it feels like to be betrayed, not only by friends but by family. My own flesh and blood.
"Wah mih son doing here?" I ask the group before me.
My grandparents, siblings and two best friends on the bed surrounding my baby who is sleeping next to a little girl that seems a bit younger than he is. The same girl that he was sitting next to in class. The next persons in the room are Shawna, Shawn, their twin friends and parents in chairs and couches, but the black skinned security guy who first directed me here, he is standing by the door with his arms crossed doing his job by keeping us inside.
"To resolve an issue that is long overdue." Grandma speaks, and I rolled my eyes.
"What issue?" I inquire.
"Don't play stupid, you know what it is." Looking into the eyes of my grandfather who stand by his wife side. He was definitely angry for no reason that concerns him or anyone for them.
"That is not your business, it none of you all businesses. Whatever I do in life is my choice and not yours." My evil grandfather laughs and wipe the invisible tears from his eyes.
"Shawna do what you have to and lets get this over with." Her father Mr. McLain says, too busy trying on a computer on the other side of the room next to his wife who was comforting a crying Shawna.
"Kizanne, I'm sorry. I didn't plan anything to have him killed to get back to you. You're my best friend, I love you and love to see you happy but I can't see myself without being your friend. I want the friendship that we use to have before, I can admit that I am extremely jealous of Da'drian and Andrea but I was more to you that them. You pushed me away during your hard times and those are the times that I needed to be there for you. I tried getting in contact with you but each time it's like you disappeared. I didn't do anything wrong but I need you."
"That's it?" She nods and I shook my head at her stupidity but it made a few persons in the room angry by their expressions. "Since you've tell me what you have to say, now is my time."
I took a deep breath and lean against the closed bathroom door looking into her teared up red eyes. "I don't trust you. I never did. We were friends but I didn't know who you really are until you do something that proves your point. As they say, 'action speaks louder than words'. Devon forced me to attend your birthday party even though I believe that he knew of my pregnancy before I did. He told me you approached him when we were together even when you know he was in love with me. You flirted with him and touched him the way that I should even though he was pushing you away.
You know how I feel about attending another event that your family host after I was touched inappropriately, but I went to your party because I am a friend who will always support you even when my instincts are telling me not to go. Out of all of us there, why was I the only one who got splatted with blood? Why did I have to witness my baby father and my first love being killed before my eyes while he was worried about me instead of himself? I wonder if it was planned or was he threatened.
Admit it that you wanted him but he didn't want you back. Admit it that your stubbornness, determination and jealousy always gets the best of you. Admit it that your motto is whatever Shawna wants, Shawna gets. Admit it that I was just there for you to copy whatever I do? Admit it that I get all the guys attention but since you were so busy with your nose in my life you became blind to see the better boys or men lined up begging for your attention. Admit it that you pushed me in that pool when I told you that I couldn't swim that day on the school trip. Admit it that whatever money your father gives you is spent on making your body just like mine but do anything, even feel the pain in making yourself the white of me. I loved you because I was the only friend who would tell you the truth if something doesn't look right with you. I wasn't fake around you even though you had enough money than my parents had and you yell it in my face more than I could count.
You are a bully, a fake and a heartless bitch. You are the reason why I stay away from people of your colour. I stay away so what I don't know won't hurt me more than you already have. I don't want to meet a nice person and they turns out to be like you even though I know everyone is different. I rather let a black woman do me like you have before. Not because you think we are ignorant but we can be enemies but not to stoop so low like you. You destroy my life when you realise it was going good. You can never be happy for me with your fake smiles, promises, love and cries. Shawna, you are the devil and I don't communicate with the dead. I. Burn. Them."
She didn't even stand to defend herself like she normally does but cry even louder like someone she know had died. The look on my family and friends faces gave me satisfaction. To let all that out and I'm still standing with a single tear in my eyes. "Even if what you say is a lie, I forgive you. I forgive you for all the bad that you have done to me and Devon. You only apologize if it's means something to you or you'll succeed in something, but I'm not you. I am thankful for you, I'm proud to be your ex best friend because you show me how many people can go behind my back and do things to pull me down even if it's my own family. You show me their true colours. You open my eyes to see how the world really is and I how I was foolish. You showed me how someone can use me to their own advance. To break my heart in a million pieces in just a few seconds. All I can say is thank you, for my life was too perfect for this world and I have to ask you for one more thing. Don't ruin my little family anymore than you already have.
For I'm tired of crying to sleep at night, pretending to be okay in his eyes. I can't bring him to school in the mornings when I see the other families, a child with both their parents together. Happy. That three years old child right there is my life, my only reminder of the man I love. I vowed to protect him from anyone and if it means killing you or whoever you wish to pay to end us. I will raise from the dead like Jesus did, I will find you and make sure your life is miserable. No man will get a child out of you or he won't even be in your life long enough to get you pregnant. Remember this, don't mess with a child of God. Proverbs 1 verse 32. For the turning away of the simple shall slay them, and the prosperity of fools shall destroy them. Proverbs 1 verse 26. I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh."
"I'm not lying. I didn't have my hand in his death but I can admit that all that you say is true. I can't even get pregnant and the man that I love leaves me for another woman." Freezing in my spot. I didn't prepare to hear that response and instead of feeling happy, I feel worst and I hate myself for tell her that but I meant what I've said. "I'm always having miscarriages. The babies only stay for three months and no doctor can help me. I'm sorry Kiz."
"Yuh still drinking that tea bush?" I ask her. Staring right into her eyes watching her expression changes to a confused one.
"I drink every green tea." She mumbled still confused.
"I mean the one Rasta told you not to drink in seven grade high school. The Penny Royal bush has many uses. The worst is ending pregnancies." She held her mouth and so did her mother but it got her father and husband's attention. As he looked at them as if he would kill them and it was then that the drama started.
"You were drinking that fucking tea when we were trying to have more kids. You introduce my daughter to it and I sit there without realising how it was right infront my eyes the whole time. You bitch. You've been drinking that before we even got married." He pulled out his pointed it at her. "Get up. We're leaving."
"I'm so sorry Westley. I..." Shawna got up and slapped her mother across the face then rush out the house with her brother following and so was I.
"Shawn." He look suprised to see me but then back in the direction she went. Maybe considering if he should leave or not. "Let me talk to her first then you can take her home."
"Are you sure?" I nod and he sighs, gesturing for me to go. "Thanks Kiz."
"It's nothing." He gives me a quick hug before I rush off behind Shawna who was running in her heels but then I remembered the stairs and it was then that I hear her screams making Shawn follows.
"Shawna!" He yelled, reaching her at the bottom of the stairs with her white afternoon dress bloody. So was her nose, her head and the bottom of her dress then her left ankle twisted in a weird angle. "Breathe please, breathe."
Reaching the bottom step, I remove the hair from her face and look towards the security that was still in the house but not the guest. It was obvious that the party was over. "Call the ambulance. She needs to get to the hospital quickly."
Just as I turned to look at Shawna again, I hear footsteps coming in our direction and noticed two doctors bringing in a stretcher which had me confused. But before they wheeled her out of the room, she grabs unto my hand. Her grey eyes staring up at me. "I deserve it for all the things I've done to you. Stop crying that's my thing."
Laughing at her weird sense of humour as I use the other hand to wipe my eyes. "Don't die just yet. We need to get a baby out of you some day."
She smiles through the pain then let my hand go before they carry her out of the room and down the hall towards the wrong direction. Shawn who was still there but sat leaning against the wall where his parents quickly passes to follow their daughter. "She's going to be okay."
"When?" He laughed, looking down at the blood of his sister on his hands. "She treated you like shit on the bottom of her shoes. She treats almost everyone like that but even after everything she did to you. You told her the reason..."
"I had to. I didn't know she was still drinking that tea after all these years." I tell him, joining him on the same stairs his sister fell from "Where are they taking her? The entrance is that way towards the road."
A road that leads to here, the end of the forest for acres where the main road is. This place wasn't on the map but it had Private property stamped all over the the front area for everyone to see and it couldn't be missed.
"The twins have a clinic here incase of emergencies and the best doctors. She's in good hands." He reassures me.
"That's good. Now I need to ask the twins if I can stay a few hours to make sure she's okay before I go home."
"What is wrong with you?" I was confused as I raised a brow at him. "You never ditch church before."
"I don't but I will try to do it this once." He still didn't believe me so I stand and fix my dress. "I'll be having my own service for a few minutes. She might have been an enemy to me but she's human. Even I sin too but I already feel awful about a few things that I've said."
"You're too good for this world Kiz." He sings and I show him my middle finger making him laugh. "Rude as always."
"Damn right I am. Who's daughter was sleeping next to my son up there?" I inquired.
"Ours." Instead of Shawn answering me it was the other twins. Preston and Presion. With a weird answer like that, I'm glad to not be the inquisitive or curious typed of person.
"I'll leave you to explain that. The clinic is in the basement and ask the guards the direction when you're ready." Shawn slowly got up and pat my shoulders before leaving going though the exit.
Looking back up that the twins, I realised they were a lot closer than before so I took a few steps back. I didn't like this much height above me if it wasn't a building, so I felt more nervous than uncomfortable. They had so many things in the room to look at but they are busy staring at me and it creeps me out. "Can I stay here for a few hours to make sure Shawna is okay? I won't bother you, all I need is a chair."
"A chair for what reason?" The one with less jewelry asks. I didn't know how to tell them apart so early because they both look so much alike from head to toe and I did know who was who.
"To sit and sleep for the night." I explain.
"You won't need it. Come." The other twin spoke and I raised a brow at his command like he thinks I'm his little sister or his child, but I kept my mouth shut and follow.
As one leads, the other follow close behind me and his eyes pierced holes wherever he looks on my body. Then he had to ask me a question after I was strangly enjoying the uncomfortable silence. "Are you always this quiet?"
"Yes I am." I answered truthfully.
"Why?" He quizzed.
"Talk less learn more." He hums in agreement as he came to my side holding out an hand for me to take but I was trying to catch up with the other brother because he has really long legs that he should me using for sports instead of mere walking.
I look down at the guys hand then back up at him with a raised brow. "It's just a hand. The quicker you hold on the easier you can walk faster in those heels."
I put my small bearly soft hands in his big rough one but he entwined our fingers before he gestures for us to start walking. I didn't know there was so many rooms in this place but with each corner there is a security and art that decorated the pale yellow walls. It was still beautiful but it got weird the further we get and more security was there with some men that seems to be group of friends and a familiar face of Shawn's best friend, Nickolas.
When he sees me he smiles but it got wider when he notices who's hand I'm holding. "Ma'am Kizanne." He bows and I raised a brow at him before I even know that we have slowed down. "It's is of great pleasure to be in your presence of what I hear that occurred not too long ago."
"What?" I asked not too sure of what he was implying.
"Put the red Queen in her place but thank you for killing her with kindness." I didn't bother to reply but nod and he did too along with some men around them as they were staring down at me with smiles on their lips. All of them including the twins.
"How is the weather up there?"
"Great." They all answers like they got asked that question every often.
"Men." They laughed as the twin holding my hand bring me to the room his brother went.
"This is one of the entrances to the clinic. When you're ready for bed go to any one of the guards and they will call me or my brother to bring you there." He explains.
"All I might need is a chair, seriously." I say stubbornly but he just hums, sounds as if he wasn't supporting what I say.
With his hands still in mine, he put his other hand on something on the wall and a robotic voice sounded saying, 'access accepted.' then iron and metal doors open to another room or hallway that seems like a mini hospital. "Cool right?"
I didn't realize I was too busy staring that I've stopped walking, but I just nod my head. He didn't bring me far as his brother stood at an open door staring down at his phone but he gestures inside the room. As I start to remove my hand from the twins hold he squeezes my hand a bit and I look from his hand to his face. "What?"
He didn't laugh or smile but raise my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles. His long facial hair tickles my skin but my body shivers from the foreign feeling. I found myself staring a bit longer as how his lips stay on my skin but I came to my senses and pull my hand away with a glare, something he seems to ignore. "Go inside."
"You and your brother don't know me, it's best if you don't try ordering me instead just ask. It's not every second my manners for everyone is a hundred percent. I'm trying to be on my best behaviour so don't frig it up." I argue as I pass the twins and into the room but I keep on with the talking. "I don't talk to people I don't know suh yuh lucky I was talking to all of you in ere. I might be in yuh house but respect yuh guest if yuh can't fih mih den nyam..."
Someone shushes me and I turn to the person with a glare but it instantly went to a smile. Nasmear the man who half the country fears, he's also my biggest brother, my mother's first son. "Nyam what?"
"Shit." I replied with a straight face before it went back to a smile as I walked over and hug him. "What yuh doing ere?"
I whispers in his ears, enjoying the familiar marijuana smell on his clothes or the blunt behind his ears, both of each. I am the only one who got my mother's height, the others got their father's own but Nas was the tallest with muscles. He's a sucker for anything heavy and Grace. He's in love with a girl my age for years and a big stalker when it comes to her. Even with her throughout her pregnancy with her triplets and the death of her youngest when the wife of their father poison her. A damn white woman and you see why I have to be careful.
"Friends live here." Ending our hug, I move away from him towards the bed where Shawna is sleeping, with two tubes in her hand. Her parents were nowhere in sight and my only guess is they are somewhere arguing.
"I need to start collecting money for each time you say friends. Friends I didn't know of since recently." I mumbled checking her chart that the doctor left next to the bed.
She has another miscarriage, sprained ankle, high blood pressure, minor bleeding from forehead, left ear lobe, nose and mouth. "She got two or three weeks of bed rest."
"Yuh a dih doctor don't?" He nods and I laugh. "Should a put yuh head to yuh lesson. Could a be a big surgeon or something right now wid yuh big head and good memory."
He ignore me so I move back over to him where the other chair is and rest my head on his arm because his shoulder was too high up even in his sitting position. "Mih need fih see mih nephew before you tek him weh."
"Since yuh deh ere then please mek sure yuh tell ar people dem wat food she suppose to eat and all that stuff. Give ar mih phone number, mih will call yuh when Devin wake." Moving to hug him again, he pushed me away so I remove my heels and stand, walking towards the door. "I'm telling Grace."
"Shi a nuh mih mada." He says lazily with his phone in hand, texting.
"She did tell yuh to suck our mada." I tease, laughing a bit.
"Yeah. Like how you tell me. Uno just lucky." Rolling my eyes at his lame excuse. I open the door and walked out closing it behind me but as I reach the doorway of the exit which we came I didn't know how to get pass. "Sorry."
Nas came and open the door without a problem then I thank him before leaving. It was then that I got lost due to being occupied by one brother holding my hand and the other being stuck up, instead of looking where I was going but I walking down the hall to my left.
I got to the main level of the house when I found the crowd of security talking with Nickolas and I plan to pass then when he stops me. "Need company?"
"No thanks, I'm leaving so I'll see you around." He nods and I gave his a stiff smile before leaving.
I found my way back to the room passing a lot of security that I was no longer confused about. Since my brother is here I know someone is in charge of these men. Somebody in another gang or something like that.
My family and friends were still in the room when I got back and I walk towards my purse and phone on the bed, taking it up and going though the message.s There wasn't anything important that I need to reply to.
With eyes on me I turn to my grandparents who at the window seat next to eachother. "Is the driver outside?"
"No..." Grandfather starts to says as I went over and took Devin off the bed next to the little girl.
"Okay. See you around, I'm going home." I lift Devin and use his blanket that covers his body to cover over his head.
"It late right now, wait till morning." I look over at my sister who says it and frown.
"I didn't bring him here with me. If I can't trust someone with my child when I leave him with them, then you will see him whenever I bring him around or not. You could bring him into danger and leaving me worried." I move my gaze to my grandparents, but mainly making eye contact wit Grandfather. "I'll be sending in my resignation letter by Monday morning at Seven."
I walked out of the room and ignore everyone calling or following me.